Damn Yankees

My job is a pretty nice gig. Like with any sales job there are nice customers, mean customers, and wacky customers. I received my first truly wacky phone call on Tuesday. A man called to ask about purchasing tickets to see Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons and to make sure there was wheel chair accessible seating. Like most people going to see the show, he made mention he and his wife were really familiar with the music--his wife grew up in the area where Frankie Vallie and his music started. His wife grew up in Philadelphia, thus she was a Yankee, and that's where it all started.

The man said everyone made fun of him, saying it was a very old tradition of a Southerner marrying a Yankee girl. And she was going to have to learn that things were different in the South.

I was thinking, "Where are we, back in the Antebellum South?" 

Then he said, "I used to practice law back in the day, and you could discredit the defense by pointing out that the complaining witness was a Yankee." Basically he continued on to say people who should've by all means been found guilty and placed in jail for long periods of time got off practically scot-free because they were Southerners. In contrast, Yankees tended to get harsher sentences.

Me: "Mmmhmmm...*polite chuckle* Seriously? I wonder how old this guy is."

Out of the blue, the conversation turns to one particular case which was pretty hilarious to listen to.

"I remember a case where these two guys from Illinois came down to buy some drugs you know. And they paid a guy with a check, but it wasn't a regular check, it was a cold check [note: googled this and found it's a check written on an account that doesn't have enough money to cover the debt]. It was a $3,000 check. I mean who pays for marijuana with a check?! And then they came back some time later and bought some using another check! Again, I mean who pays for marijuana with a check?!"

There were more details about the case, I kind of tuned out. The jury didn't want to be a hanged jury, so they made some sort of quick random decision. The guys were charged with some misdemeanor crime and charged heavy fines.

The guy finally finished his story, said he needed to consult with his wife about the show date and ticket prices, and said bye.

I spent probably twenty minutes on the phone listening to the guy, and he didn't even buy tickets. Ah well, at least I got the experience and a funny story. It's those damn Yankees.

Awesome Blog of NON-Procrastination

PROCRASTINATE, PROCRASTINATE, PROCRASTINATE, No I am not a chronic procrastinator and lazy slattern. I need to get back into regularly blogging, eventually daily if only for myself. I'm always at a loss what to write about because I don't lead a necessarily exciting life. I'm always finding cool things and often think different things that I feel merit blogging. There's so much to talk about sometimes, I don't know where to begin or what to focus on. So today I'll make a short blog with two of the awesome things I've recently gotten into and discovered.

Baccano: Great Anime! I've been meaning to watch this for a long time. I've been watching and loving Durarara! which is by the same creator. Hilarious, kinda crazy story, great art style, tons of memorable characters, and rounded off perfectly with jazz music. Fave characters: Isaac and Miria--quirky pair of stupid thieves whose stupid plans actually succeed in getting them lots of money; they typically rob people while wearing costumes. Totally awesome that I can watch the show for free on Funimation's website.




Reduced Shakespeare Company: 3 guys perform ALL 37 Shakespeare plays in 90 minutes! HILARIOUS! One of Dustin's fellow student teachers showed him a clip of their version of Romeo and Juliet. He in turn showed it to me, and we both about died laughing. I had tears in my eyes. The show's a mixture of wit and slapstick that comes together to create the most awesome adaptation of Shakespeare ever!

My Life Simply Put

This is almost exactly the conversation I had with Dustin when deciding what to do with the tons of children/early teen books I had stored up over the years. I eventually gave them away to a pair of  teachers. If I actually had a house and knew I wouldn't move again, this would've been the case.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

This is scenario happens on a regular basis; this is what happens when you take a burned out grad student + internet.

"I'll Never Let Go"

Today I went with Dustin, his mom, and grandma to the Louisville Science Museum to see the Titanic Artifact exhibit after lunch at Logan's Roadhouse. The movie Titanic is being shown on TV tonight. I was not allowed to watch the movie when it came in theatres; my mom thought it should've been rated R because of the sex scene which you saw nothing. I finally got to see it when it came out on VHS, but my mom said she had to watch it with me so she could fast forward through the sex scene. I was the most deprived and desolate 6th grade girl. Then one day I caught my sister watching the second tape when our mom wasn't home. I was like, "We aren't allowed to watch this!" She was like, "It's okay. Mom's not home." We watched all the second tape, sex scene included. I cried pathetically at the end; my sister and mom thought I was stupid for doing so. It was funny today after the exhibit, Dustin's grandma asked about the diamond, "The Heart of the Ocean," and asked where was Rose's story. She thought it was real; gotta love her. Dustin's mom was very nice about telling her the truth. 

The exhibit was really cool and fascinating. They gave us little cards which were our "ticket" to the Titanic. Each had a passenger name and details about their travel situation and companions. They were all real people and at the end of the tour was a giant list of the survivors and those lost when the ship sank. I was Mrs. Thomas Potter Jr. (Lily Alexenia Wilson -- maiden name), first class, taking a European vacation with my daughter. There were variety of artifacts from the china which meals were served on in first and second class, toiletries, glass wine bottles, light holders, rivets which held the ship together. There were images on the floor plan. There were letters and a German-English dictionary which belonged to an immigrant passenger and money too. There was a man-made freshwater "iceberg" which you could put your hand on and get a feel for what it would've been like in the water; actually the water would've been much colder than "iceberg" on display.  One of the most unique items I thought was a bottle of champagne which still held champagne inside. The cork got sucked in to the bottle and expanded so it couldn't be removed. Scientists or archeologists (whichever) actually inserted a needle to extract some of the champagne to taste. It still tasted like champagne with just a touch of salt water. Much of the coal from the Titanic was taken out by archeologists; now, the coal is being sold in little bits and pieces--a tiny fragment is sold for $20. Granted it's supposed to be worth a whole lot more in the future. There's also a cruise ship which is sailing out the day of the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's maiden voyage. The ship is going the same route and the same speed, obviously without the disastrous results. Tickets are being sold for $4,000--equivalent to the amount it would've cost a third class passenger back in the day--$90. The exhibit was really fascinating, and it turned out my passenger survived the voyage.

I had a pretty full weekend with three dates! One for each day! Dustin called me Friday after he got out of school (from teaching) and said, "Shower and dress nice. We're going on a date." I was taken aback, "I was like what?! A date?! One where I have to go out and wear a bra?!" I'm super lazy and almost always get away without wearing a bra (both pro and con). We went to dinner a new or rather redone asian restuarant; La Que (pronounced La "Whey"). The place served Vietnamese, Thai, and Chinese; I thought the selection of Vietnamese dishes was small--mostly noodle dishes. Dustin ate Green Curry Chicken & I ate Ginger Chicken (served in a hotpot) with vegetables. Twas delicious. Then we went to the Comedy Caravan where we saw three comedians, one of them was Torian Hughes who is a writer for Tyler Perry. There was an obnoxiously drunk woman in front of us who kinda sucked the energy and fun out of the jokes; she thought everything was a joke for her and would not shut up. Finally, the second comedian, Cleveland, bluntly told her to "Shut the fuck up." She did for a while, but towards the end of the show she was shouting out and laughing 20 times louder. In spite of her, we enjoyed the rest of the whole show -- all three comedians were absolutely hilarious!

Saturday Dustin wanted to go to lunch at O'Charley's, and I wanted to go see Much Ado About Nothing played by the Savage Rose Classical Theatre Company. So we combined them and made another date. The Savage Rose performs shows close to the way they would've been performed in the Renaissance; they use period costumes and have a limited set. I saw my friend Sutton and her boyfriend Stephen there and my friend Liz and one of her sisters Peggy. Her other sister, whose name I now forgot, was playing the role of Margaret. I saw several people I knew from the U of L theatre department performing in the show. It was really great, and I laughed so hard.

Mini Epic Oven Adventure

So, grad school has basically fried my brain, and I'm so wrapped up in deep thoughts and distracting myself with the internet that I tend to forget about the smaller, but no less important things like DON'T LEAVE THE OVEN ON IF YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO IT!

 No serious disaster occurred, it was averted by a slight burning smell from the oven. This story has a fairly comic note. I was planning on re-toasting a wrap I had leftover from Jason's Deli in the oven. I threw it in the microwave for a little bit so the meat could heat up before putting it in the oven. I smell the oven burning a bit and panic thinking "OMG MY SANDWICH!!!!"

I rush to the oven and open it only to find nothing there. I start freaking out looking for it, thinking maybe it fell to the bottom or something. I'm like "WHERE THE HELL IS MY SANDWICH?! IT DISAPPEARED!" I honestly thought for a split second, somehow my sneaky brat cat Lily stole it out of the oven. I remembered putting the wrap in the oven, but not taking it out.

Then it dawned on me as I looked up and saw the microwave. I'd initially heated the wrap up for 15 seconds and put it in the oven. I touched the wrap a little bit and decided it wasn't quite warm enough, so I'd  pop it in the microwave for another 15 seconds. Meanwhile, I left the oven on and started piddling around on the internet until the smell alerted me to the fact that something was wrong.

Now, my wrap is in the oven, has been for a couple minutes now, and I'm very aware of it as I type this. I felt like it was a silly event worth blogging about. No matter how much learning I have, I can't forget those basic little things. I'm lucky I smelled something and got to the oven and that nothing caught on fire.

Edit: Once more I am truly a dork. I turned the oven off in my panic. I put the wrap in the oven, but I didn't turn it back on. LOL. 

California-Nia...

Is nice to the homeless... I love the South Park episode: Night of the Living Homeless. Their version of 2Pacs California Lovin' never fails to crack me up. Though I doubt the area of CA where all the wedding stuff is taking place is nice to the homeless. My mother is snoring like a beast; my sister is snoring too, but she sounds more human. I slept for maybe three or four hours. My body is all out of whack going from KY to CA.


Vacations for my family 8/10 times always end up more stressful, boring, and unfun than relaxing, exciting, and fun. Currently, we're in CA for my aunt Hanh's wedding. We had a to rent a car and drive ourselves around. This is really difficult because 1) we forgot the GPS 2) we're not from here 3) my aunts that live here are not much help because they are too busy running around with wedding stuff to drive us or guide us to locations. Thankfully, we discovered my mom's phone has a GPS system, and we can try it out for free for 30 days. My poor mom is so disoriented, frustrated, and stressed out. Thankfully, my aunt from Arizona and her family are staying in the same hotel as us. They're more comfortable and familiar with driving around the area, so we can follow them.

The rehearsal dinner tonight was at an Italian restuarant called Vero's. I was expecting a big, hearty pasta dinner. However, none of the dinner choices included pasta except the kids; they got to eat Bolognaise which looked really good. I ate red snapper in a tomatoe sauce (not like spaghetti tomatoe sauce); not bad, subtle flavor, but I really was craving pasta. I think the best part of the meal was dessert: tiramisu and cappucino. I keep thinking of the movie Super Bad (awesome movie by the way): When am I going to fucking need to know how to make fucking tiramisu! The actual quote according to IMDB is

"Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing."

It's kind of fun being with all my family. My cousins look so different; the last time I saw my cousins Nathaniel and Jonathan--they were both smaller. Nathan is now super tall, with long hair, and still very opinionated just on things like religion and politics. He likes arguing and doesn't  mind going up against the entire family when they're all start harping him about religion. He was also the only person in my family to know that Old English is Anglo-Saxon English and to be impressed by the fact I could read and translate it. Jonathan still has a baby face and looks so precious. He's twelve--too old for me to scoop him up, hug him, and kiss him. My cousin Theodore looks way different with a shaved head and long beard. I didn't even recognize him. I thought to myself, "who is this slightly creepy looking guy sitting at our family's table?" Then my aunt said this is your cousin, "Theo." "Oh...way to go..." was my mental response I think it's funny how my aunts think it's necessary to introduce me to all my relatives like I've never met them, even my grandparents--granted, I haven't seen them in over ten years.


Today is the wedding day. I love weddings and analyzing their different styles. I'm looking more forward to the reception. From what I've been told, there will be lots of good booze, 80s music, and dancing. The second is the most important factor to me because I can't drink heavily due to being small and Asian.

I'm seriously considering sleeping out in the lobby area of the hotel. There's a large solid but comfy wooden bench. There's a cushy couch in the front desk area...somehow I don't think the hotel manager would appreciate or allow me to sleep there long. My sister suggested the cushy lounge chairs in the pool area. I also thought about the bathtub in our room. Dustin tells me from personal experience that bathtubs are actually very comfortable. The door almost completely blocks the sound of my mother's snoring.

I feel like I should make a more interesting blog post than this. I actually made a lot of notes in my head during dinner about snarky and amusing things to say about the meal and guests. However, I feel they're more suited to actual conversation rather than blog post. I think I'm going to continue eating my pack of goldfishes and read a fantasy novel until I start feeling sleepy or finish the book.