Thursday, August 19, 2010

Damn Yankees

My job is a pretty nice gig. Like with any sales job there are nice customers, mean customers, and wacky customers. I received my first truly wacky phone call on Tuesday. A man called to ask about purchasing tickets to see Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons and to make sure there was wheel chair accessible seating. Like most people going to see the show, he made mention he and his wife were really familiar with the music--his wife grew up in the area where Frankie Vallie and his music started. His wife grew up in Philadelphia, thus she was a Yankee, and that's where it all started.

The man said everyone made fun of him, saying it was a very old tradition of a Southerner marrying a Yankee girl. And she was going to have to learn that things were different in the South.

I was thinking, "Where are we, back in the Antebellum South?" 

Then he said, "I used to practice law back in the day, and you could discredit the defense by pointing out that the complaining witness was a Yankee." Basically he continued on to say people who should've by all means been found guilty and placed in jail for long periods of time got off practically scot-free because they were Southerners. In contrast, Yankees tended to get harsher sentences.

Me: "Mmmhmmm...*polite chuckle* Seriously? I wonder how old this guy is."

Out of the blue, the conversation turns to one particular case which was pretty hilarious to listen to.

"I remember a case where these two guys from Illinois came down to buy some drugs you know. And they paid a guy with a check, but it wasn't a regular check, it was a cold check [note: googled this and found it's a check written on an account that doesn't have enough money to cover the debt]. It was a $3,000 check. I mean who pays for marijuana with a check?! And then they came back some time later and bought some using another check! Again, I mean who pays for marijuana with a check?!"

There were more details about the case, I kind of tuned out. The jury didn't want to be a hanged jury, so they made some sort of quick random decision. The guys were charged with some misdemeanor crime and charged heavy fines.

The guy finally finished his story, said he needed to consult with his wife about the show date and ticket prices, and said bye.

I spent probably twenty minutes on the phone listening to the guy, and he didn't even buy tickets. Ah well, at least I got the experience and a funny story. It's those damn Yankees.


  1. Ha, too bad Damn Yankees wasn't the show they were wanting to see.

    YANKS! They're all criminals and we Southerners are all gentlemen and ladies. ;)

  2. Don't get me started on those "Kankies!" as my dad would say!