Feeling a little stifled and I have a paper due by 4 PM today, and I'm about three quarters of the way done. I'm just struggling this semester because I've got the burn out. I've been talking to other grad students and glad to know I'm not alone. It's so weird to feel this burning hatred and complete apathy because I've always loved school and learning and writing (both creatively and academically). Writing is always difficult for me because I have crazy perfectionist, editor mind. So I'm blogging to help relieve some of the stress and get the writing flow going.
Dustin - significant other/fellow grad student - I don't know how I got through finals before him! He is a wonderful support and source of encouragement! We have totally different writing and thinking styles. He helps me out when I get frustrated and start second guessing everything I write. He listens patiently and gives suggestions when I read the same paragraph for the fifth time. Plus, he keeps me company and has a lot of faith in me. He said he missed eating breakfast. He works at UPS third shift, so by the time he gets out he's exhausted, goes to bed and sleeps until 1 PM or later. So we vowed to stay up all night and go eat breakfast together. We did and went to McDonald's at 6 AM to get breakfast which was delicious! I really miss him right now even though he's in the next room. He's sleeping early because he has to get up to teach class in the morning.
Lily, my kitty, is my other company keeper. She's sleeping too, though thankfully not on my notes. Even when there's multiple books and piles of notes, she knows exactly which one I'm currently using and lays down on it. She looks so gosh dang cute, I hate moving her and feel guilty for pulling the notes/book out from under her.
Cafe World, this little flash game on facebook does wonders to keep me occupied and for some odd reason focused. I use it as a timing and motivational device. I can write and cook simultaneously. I have to wait a certain amount of time for a dish to be done, and if I don't remove it from the stove in time it will go bad. My writing coincides with the time, and it works better than saying, "I'll write for one hour and play for one hour" which never happens. This system works because I'm cooking/playing at the same time as I'm writing. It's like, "I'll set kabobs to cook. They take one hour to cook. In that one hour, I will write a page then serve the kabobs. Then I set another dish on the stove, say another hour long dish, and the same thing happens." I like to think I have really eccentric means of keeping time and getting through finals.
Music is a big thing to help me feel good and keep calm. I've been really dependent on Celtic Woman and songs from GLEE. I'm obsessed with the new songs from Celtic Woman's new but not yet released album Songs From the Heart. There are official clips of the DVD concert on YouTube. I also listen to GLEE songs on YouTube as well since I don't have all of them on Itunes. I think the songs I keep listening to over and over are, "The Call," "When You Believe," "Ding Dong Merrily on High," "True Colors," "Lean on Me," and "Defying Gravity."
Bridge of Clay Cover
1 week ago