Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My Dream Wedding - Literally

I had the wildest wedding dream last night, which is likely a manifestation of some of my wedding anxieties...despite the fact it's like two years away.

I was dressed in a beautiful, albeit very revealing wedding gown--kind of like this photo only the cut was lower, there was a larger gap between the cups of the bodice, and the top edges were more pointy (yes, with certain dreams, I remember a crazy amount of detail). I have a notable lack of boobness to say the least, and so in my dream, I obviously needed inserts. There's a huge gap between my boobs and the bodice. I attempt to insert this little gel pads into my bodice, but they aren't fitting right and the bodice isn't filling out. I look at the box, they're shoe inserts! I run around in a panic looking for boob inserts.

I run upstairs where Dustin is, and I say to him, "Oh wait, you're not supposed to see me. Oh well, I don't care." I run back down stairs to outside. A guy I know from the IRC chat I frequent, tells me I have to walk down the aisle to Canon in D. I tell him "NO! Fuck you! I'm NOT going to walk down the aisle to Canon in D!"

I run away again, this time to a drugstore run by a Vietnamese lady. I see a woman with nasty, blonde hair with black roots showing crouching down. I pass her in my search for boob inserts. She then tries to run out of the store unseen, but is caught by the owner. She apparently was trying to steal money. And the Vietnamese lady starts yelling at her, "You're trying to steal my money?! You didn't ask to borrow it or anything!" I look up and down the aisles of the store, finding more shoe inserts and tampons and pads. I finally spot one boob insert, which actually looks like half a bra without the strap, and address the store owner in Vietnamese. However, I don't know how to ask "Do you have any more of these in stock" in Vietnamese, so I ask her in English. She tells me "no."

So I run back to the place I was getting ready at. On the way I pass the chapel, and see my friend Simon. He tells me, "All the guests have been waiting for an hour and a half! It's Super Bowl Sunday or weekend!" I'm like, "I know! I'll be really quick!" Then a girl I know from theatre at U of L, shows up and tells me using an IPod to provide music for my type of wedding is tacky. She says she has everything all orchestrated for me. I staunchly tell her I'm going to use my IPod, and I don't care what she thinks. I realize I left my IPod in my high school locker. The locker is locked with a combination lock which I can't remember the combination to. I keep trying the numbers and finally give up, ready to tell the music girl to use the orchestra and Canon in D. Then I go back to the dressing room and find my IPod in my purse.

Frustrated by not finding boob inserts, I start ripping up brown and pink fabric and wrap it around my boobs on top of my dress. I yell, "I don't care anymore!" Someone hands me a bunch of light purple balloons to hold. I look at my bouquet sitting on the table and then to the balloons; I say, "I don't care! It'll cover my boobs!" I grab the balloons and then decide since I'm going to be tacky, to slip on my teal Old Navy flip flops.

After all these shenanigans and frustrations, I wake up. I didn't even get to walk down the aisle. Nevertheless, it was pretty amusing, not to mention wacky. It was a literal dream wedding though definitely not ideal.

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