First post of the new year! I'm steadily picking my life back up from the pieces it broke into after last semester. I'm done with the crying and overwhelming anxiety (well almost). Everyone is entitled to a bad semester; I screwed up, I took on too much, I admit it. It's done; I can't change it and am going to move forward.
I have to say with pride and honesty, I have the most wonderful fiance. It just really hit me at the end of the semester when he told me, "I don't care about anything but the smile on your face." I'm so proud of him now that he's almost officially a real teacher. He's just started student teaching. He genuinely cares about teaching, but he's also realistic and knows it's not going to be like Freedom Writers. He said the reason he wanted to be a teacher is a person who made a strong impact on his life was a teacher, and he wants to be able to do the same. If he can get through to one student, that's an accomplishment. :)
Break was pretty uneventful, except for trying on wedding dresses. I tried on a beautiful ivory, lace gown that almost made me willing to forgo a purple or purple and white dress. I spent most of break planning, mostly obsessing over wedding dress styles and finding a dress that doesn't compromise any of the elements I want. Although color is becoming trendier, especially red and black and white dresses, when you walk into a wedding salon, you're still drowning in a sea of white and ivory. The dresses that do have color, have it mostly as an accent. I didn't realize how overwhelming trying on dresses can get until I did it over break, and I lost sight of what I wanted. I'm seriously considering the custom route, possibly outsourcing the dress because I'm not certain I can afford custom any other way. I'll make a more detailed wedding blog post with all my ideas sometime later. ;)
My other obsession of late, besides wedding dresses, is the Sookie Stackhouse novels. It's the new crack for me. I gave it shot, and I really love it! It's the perfect blend of romance, smut, mystery, and of course the supernatural (namely vampires). I've been plowing through them mighty quick, and many of the witty insults and the Southern phrases have me laughing out loud. I'm on book 4; so far I think book 1 is best (with the mystery). I'm definitely an Eric fangirl. I've been putting off reading any more Anita Blake after Lunatic Cafe because I know I'm close to the point where the books become pure erotica and no longer urban fantasy or supernatural mystery. I'm not ready to break up with Anita Blake just yet. Funny thing, as many vampire novels as I've read, I've never read Interview with the Vampire or any other Anne Rice novel. Must do so--my only official resolution.
Thankfully, I'm doing a culminating project for grad school. My prospectus is due the Jan. 11, but thankfully it is a short but detailed explanation of the revisions I'm going to make to a paper that I've already written. I know I have to extensively revise the paper--I'm pretty much rewriting it through the whole semester so it's no longer a piece of shit. I'm fairly certain I disappointed my professor I wrote the paper for who's also my project director. I went to the library yesterday and met a fellow grad student who did the culminating project instead of a thesis. He said it was much easier and the conversation/defense of it was much more pleasant.
Last semester of grad school! One class and writing my culminating project! I'm taking an Art History course--specifically on medieval Byzantine and Arabian architecture. Something new and completely different from literature and history of England, France, Italy. No more fucking theory!!! Thank God!!! Now, the big task is to find a job--preferably one that utilizes some of my skills with writing and computers. It's rough trying to find something with an English degree that I actually would be interested in doing. I don't want to just be answering phones and writing notes and emails. Going to the temp agency tomorrow; I figure it's easier than hunting through the internet or paper. Once I find a job, I'm planning to get an internship at the Frazier either for the semester or summer; while it's unpaid (except for parking reimbursement), it ought to be an awesome and insightful experience.
Going to finish strong! I'm going to take better care of myself, which in turn will help Dustin. I'd say I'm settling back into real life okay.
For James Vance, and his family
1 week ago