Escapist, Paradise Seeker

Save the Date Sample/Preview

2011-08-02T02:06:00.000-04:00

Had so much fun and an easy time creating a sample Save The Date for our upcoming wedding!

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

Writer's Resolution

2011-06-21T23:41:00.000-04:00

Trying to get back into writing. Talking with my co-workers, most of whom are artists too, I realized if I want to accomplish and improve as a writer, I have to practice. Writers are a lazy lot; it's like "Okay, I wrote a paragraph. I want to go eat. Oh there's this new book I want to read. I'll play a game for a little while. I'll write more later." Musicians are the most proactive; they practice a lot and have gigs to perform. Too bad there aren't paying gigs out there for creative writers.

I'm trying very hard to improve myself; old habits are difficult to change. I don't have excuses not to write anymore. I'm not in school, and I don't work a very demanding job where I work really late. I haven't blogged in a long time because it felt forced and almost like work. I've never been able to keep a consistent diary, therefore my blogging isn't very consistent either. I just feel I often don't have anything exciting to write about, so I don't. However, the one thing I've been devoted to writing in is my reading journal. That's an improvement. Still it doesn't hone the skills I need or want to work on.

I think I've been conditioned by school to think of writing as a chore and something to put off til the last second. It hasn't been fun in a long time, so maybe that's why I'm hesitant to write more. Lately, I've been getting really bored and restless without schoolwork to occupy my thoughts and time. I feel I need to channel that energy into something creative. I've been working on my woefully incomplete novel leftover from last year's NaNoWriMo and a snippet of a couple other stories. I'm going to make it a goal to write a little bit everyday both in my blog and "novel."

I have a fear that I'm going to put all this work into a piece, I'll get stuck, and abandon it because it sucks. I have a tendency to want to rush and get to the "good" or more exciting part of the story. Writing in little bits helps me focus. I think I'm a better than average writer. There's lots of mediocre to terrible writers out there who are published, not to mention people who don't actually write their own books. I can do this!

Snowy Blog

2011-01-12T00:42:00.000-05:00

First big snow of the year! The day started off rough, as my residential roads were mostly cleared though with tons of slush in the middle. I almost hit another car because the turning lane I was in had not been cleared very well. I wasn't driving very fast and tapped my brakes but it didn't slow me down. My car kept sliding forward, and I was freaking out, worried I was going to hit a truck in front of me. I pulled my car around, thinking I could turn into the gas station I was trying to get to. Thankfully, I managed to get in the median, and stop right in front of the light next to the truck. I was at a stoplight and there was no oncoming traffic. I was very relieved, though I called Dustin freaking out for like ten minutes.

Work was very boring and slow. Surprised we were open due to the snow, especially since we had no shows going on. Downtown roads were immaculately cleared, so I guess that's why. I got to leave early though. Going home was much less stressful than going to work.

Sending in my resume for a "big girl job" at an insurance company where Dustin's mom works. Hopefully, I'll be able to get at least an interview. I'm not putting all my hopes into getting this job, but it'd be nice to at least score an interview for a "real" office job and even better if I actually got it. Nevertheless, I'm not in a hurry or eager to give up my super awesome current job at the KY Center.

No work tomorrow! I'm making plans to go sledding with my friends Leslie and Kristi. Then I have traffic school at night. Bleh. Oh well, at least I get to have fun before hand. Plus, I don't have to worry about watching my speed when I'm sledding.

Happy Year of the Unicorn!

2011-01-02T23:19:00.001-05:00

I've decided to dub this year the Year of the Unicorn. I had a very unicorn Christmas and feel my New Year should correspond. Plus unicorns are symbols of good fortune. I was reading an column in LEO or Velocity discussing writing. The only part I remember was "Don't just talk about writing, just carry a journal and write." I'm guilty of the former, so I'm attempting to resolve it this year.

I had to work New Year's Eve which was kind of a bummer, especially since Dustin took my lunch that day. Still, I got to hang out with one of my favorite supervisors/co-workers, and we only had to work til 6 PM. After work, Dustin and I went to Oishii for sushi; business was hopping, but it wasn't impossible to find a table.

Following dinner, we headed over to my friend Bill's house; my friends Leslie (who is dating Bill) & Rachel took over his house to throw a New Year's Eve party. So many nerds and engineers in one place, it was hilarious. I had a couple drinks--didn't get too wild because I had to open the next day. Rachel and I drunk danced together. We spent quite a bit of time conversing about our boobs, and how the workers at Victoria's Secret keep trying to convince us to buy the bra that will make use go up TWO WHOLE CUP SIZES!

We turned on Dick Clark's New Year Special. Lo and behold the Backstreet Boys were the musical guest AND New Kids On The Block. All us girls started screaming and singing "I Want It That Way." We were pretty bad. Leslie and I were on the couch together and were both like "BRIAN AHHH!" Dustin moved far away. Rachel commented on how the NKOTB's harmonies were good and BSB's were not. We all agreed A.J.'s physical appearance was really bad and definitely reflected his previous alcoholism. We spent a lot of the evening yelling at the musical celebrities on TV and about everything. I got my first kiss with Dustin on New Year's Eve! I always had to kiss someone else, like Matt Tobbe, because Dustin was always working UPS.

New Year's Day I worked; it was vastly boring. I was surprised we weren't closed considering my workplace is non-profit, and there were no shows going on. That evening we went to Bill's again for spaghetti made by Rachel. Rachel and I drank leftover Smirnoff's. We were like, "These are so delicious! They taste just like candy!" I said to Dustin, "We should buy a ton of these and drink them everyday!" To which Rachel responded, "That's called being an alcoholic." Then we ate Lindt and Hanukkah chocolate (which we didn't know why Bill had it because his family is Catholic) and watched Hot Tub Time Machine. Dustin and I cut out a little early, went home, and promptly fell into bed.

Today was my first day off in a week! I couldn't sleep past 9:30, and Lily was being a whiney brat. I piddled around on the internet for a good couple of hours. I took an uber long shower jamming to my fave 90s Celine Dion songs. I washed all the dishes in the sink and swept the very messy kitchen floor. I had a my oil changed at Sears and walked all around the mall. I was proud of my refusal to cave in and buy stuff super on sale. Afterward, I went home for a bit, then back out to the movie theatre to see Black Swan--which was the most beautiful film, I've seen in forever! The final dance scenes makes the entire movie worthwhile!

Lastly, went to dinner at a local Vietnamese restuarant La Que on Bardstown Rd. I loved being with a large group of my friends; somehow we always end up being the people who are really loud and laughing the most. I ate a super yummy, uber spicy green curry. Leslie and Bill were introduced to Vietnamese and Thai food (the restuarant serves three kinds of Asian food: Vietnamese, Thai, & Chinese).

Good times, good times. The year has started off great! This weekend was uber fun and friend filled! So sad, we all have to go back to our separate lives. Now that I have texting, it's somehow magically easier to keep in touch and make plans. It's amazing how fast people respond to text messages! EVERYONE I texted responded, unlike when I call and leave messages.

Life Just Got a Little More Magical

2010-12-29T23:29:00.000-05:00

I love unicorns. I have since I was five and never stopped. Of course my taste in styles of unicorns have changed...to an extent. I've been known to fall for unicorns that are extra sparkly and/or purple. This Christmas was unicorn filled! I decided to devote a blog post to all my lovely new unicorn items.

I adore this little, sweet unicorn statue. Dustin's mom bought it for me for Christmas. She's different from all my other unicorns; she looks edgy and cool, but still adorable. I was so excited when I opened a box to find her.

This is a magical, wishing unicorn Dustin bought for me. I can change the background between Autumn forest, waterfall, sunset beach, or rainbow meadow. He came with a book; in spite of its stupid title Unicorn Wishes, actually contains worthwhile information about unicorn mythology.

This is Clara. She's my unicorn Pillow Pet; she is the perfect complement to my Snuggie. Dustin's parents bought her for me. She's so FLUFFY I THINK I'M GONNA DIE! And she's purple!

And lastly, here's Zombies VS. Unicorns! It's an anthology of short stories (50/50 zombies and unicorns) edited by Holly Black and Justine Larabalestier. Dustin bought this for me. It's a fantastic collection of stories!

Christmas Magic: The Nutcracker

2010-12-05T00:17:00.001-05:00

I have found a love and deep appreciation of the one of the oldest and most iconic Christmas traditions: The Nutcracker ballet. Tonight was opening night of the Louisville Ballet's Nutcracker. It's been running for 50 years in Louisville; this is the second year of the new, localized production. It's in someways different from the traditional ballet version of the Nutcracker, but apparently closer to the original book version. The main character is Marie not Clara; she's older, not a little girl. There were changes in choreography, staging, sets, etc. I've never seen the original version, so I really don't have anything to compare it to, unless you count a very, good cartoon movie version.

I never saw the Nutcracker as a kid and as I got older, I always associated it with being aimed towards younger kids. Working at the theatre though, I was taken aback by how many grown people love the Nutcracker. It's one of those shows that appeal to everyone, even people who aren't particularly artsy folk. One of my co-workers told me she went last year for the first time; she spontaneously bought a cheap ticket. She said she had so much fun and sitting next to a little girl who was completely into the show made it more so. I decided I had to go see the show at least once in my life. This week, we got an opportunity to get staff comps.

I took my friend Matt Tobbe with me because he really enjoyed the last ballet we saw, Giselle. Matt and I are almost always late for everything. We both left work late. The weather was awful; it snowed/rained--slushed--all day, and traffic was terrible. Matt and I both take forever to get ready to go anywhere nice. We were both convinced we were going to be late. WE ARRIVED AT THE THEATRE EARLY! In spite of everything, I was on time picking Matt up, and we got to the theatre exactly one hour early. Obviously to celebrate our achievement and not the ballet's opening night, there was a fancy reception with hors d'oeuvres and drinks. Matt got to smoke extra cigarettes, and I had snack and chill time.

I loved Nutcracker for all the magic and sparkles.The show was seriously magical. There were so many amazing tricks like turning a small wooden nutcracker into a life sized moving nutcracker. I think my favorite trick was when the life sized "dolls" of the Sugar Plum Fairy and her Cavalier were pulled from seemingly small boxes, perfectly poised. I thought the best part of the whole performance was the Snow Pas De Deux/Waltz of the Snowflakes! That musical number is my favorite of the entire ballet, and the scene was the most beautiful one I'd ever seen! To top it all off, at the end it snowed in the audience as well as on stage! Matt's favorite part was the Russian Caviar; the dancers did flips and awesome spins. We both loved the dance between the Sugar Plum Fairy and Cavalier. There was a large number of children in the production. They were all students at the Louisville Ballet School. I was impressed by how good all of them were! Uber cuteness was not the only factor in their being cast. The kids made the show twenty times more fun. Again, Matt and I thought the show was simply amazing and wonderful!

Something weird and funny also happened. I took of my high heel shoes when I sat down because I usually pull my feet up into my seat. At intermission, Matt went out to smoke, and I wanted to get a drink of water. I reached down and grabbed one shoe, but couldn't find the other. I thought maybe it had fallen down in the row in front; not there. I looked to see if it had been kicked over a few seats in my row, I checked my tote bag, and the row behind me. I was baffled as to what could have happened to my one shoe. Could someone have found it and taken it to lost and found? Why just one shoe?

When the lady and guy sitting next to me returned to their seats, I asked her if she had found or kicked a shoe. She said, "Yeah, I found a shoe and put it in my bag." What normal person, finds a single shoe, and puts it in their bag?! I am pretty sure she was a combination of toasted and weird based on her following comments. "I found the shoe and put it in my bag. I thought it might be one of my shoes. (really, just one shoe randomly laying around on the floor?) I have really small feet (note: she was quite big--not obese, but big; she did say it with a joking tone)." She proceeds to pin this giant sparkly flower on her shirt, then show me & the guy in-between us (who she came with) the new nutcracker she had purchased. "This is the new nutcracker. It's different from last year's; it's sparkly." The guy asked her if she collected all of them; she answered, "So what if I do?" Then she turns to me and says, "This is my brother NOT my lover. Just so you know." Needless to say, conversation was very awkward, in spite of the humor.

Matt thought the lady was nice. He said we should go see Nutcracker again drunk and act like that lady and steal people's shoes and put them in my bag. I really hope I win the Nutcracker ticket sales contest so I can get a $50 Bristol Bar & Grill gift certificate and four tickets to see Nutcracker; I'd settle for second place and getting two free tickets. I know I'll definitely be making plans and saving to see the show next December! Oh and also, as I was driving Matt home we saw FIREWORKS! It's because we were early for the first time in forever! Matt and I realized tonight we never got to eat strawberries and see fireworks in the same day before because we were always late. Well tonight changed all that! Tomorrow we'll be back to our normal, tardy selves.

Weddin' Timez - SO EXCITED!

2010-11-05T00:39:00.002-04:00

NaNoWriMo is going...slowly...but it's going. However, it's being put on hold this weekend because my friend, hetero-life-mate, and former college room mate Rachel is getting married on Saturday! So excited! I'm a bridesmaid (first time). We're headin' out bright and early to get to Owensboro by 10:30 to help decorate the reception site. Rachel and her mom already finished decorating the church. I'm very glad that Owensboro is an hour behind us because otherwise we'd not be getting there on time.

Gotta get my tires aligned before we leave tomorrow, wait for my friend Matt Tobbe to be prissy and fuss for 30 minutes with his hair (and then the whole 2 1/2 hour car ride), get gas, stop for food somewhere, and get lost because the road signs have been knocked down and not replaced. Maybe somewhere along the way we'll see another beaver-cat; Cassie insists it was a prairie dog, but I know better. Hopefully, Rachel took our advice to make driving easier; we insisted Rachel mark every turn with a hay bale, decked in blinking lights, with a regular sized Easter egg. Very efficient idea no?

I am making Dustin drive on all the windy back roads. Funny enough, it's faster to drive through Indiana to Owensboro than through KY on Western KY Pkwy. I'm going to try not to worry about Lily over the weekend. We're leaving her plenty of food and water; our friend Brett, who lives across the road, is going to check up on her. This weekend is all about Rachel and having a good time! First time in forever all our college friends will be together in one place to have a huge party! Again, cannot stress how EXCITED I AM! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A FABULOUS TIME!

Here's Rachel in the middle with the bridal crew (missing two: Leslie and Kristi); It goes me, Mary (Rachel's sister), Rachel, Cassie, and Matt. :)

NaNoWriMo: Day 1: Taking the Challenge

2010-11-02T00:10:00.001-04:00

So, I totally you know failed to blog for about a month and a half maybe more. For an aspiring writer, I'm terribly lazy, but I'm quite certain I'm not the only lazy writer out there. So this month is the start of National Novel Writing Month! I've never had the time or prepped/realized the start of the event from the beginning. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Yes, it will be terrible, but it's not meant to be publishable (at least not right away, if even). I haven't written fiction in so long, and need something to push me along. I know my story is going to be awful, but I'm okay with that. I'm doing this more for personal satisfaction and achievement; I already know, I'm not going to be the next great American novelist. However, if I can manage a short, shitty novel in 30 days, I know I can write a better novel in like 5 years.

I'm already getting frustrated and running into roadblocks. I had one story with notes, characters developed, snippets written, and then decided to scrap it in favor of a random plot bunny I came up with last night. Granted, I could not stop thinking about the new story all day at work, and forced myself to act on my impulse. The forums on NaNoWriMo's site are hard to access, simply because the site keeps crashing, probably from overload. It's the best place to get support, but so damn hard to get to! Plus, they have an adoption forum for abandoned plots, random snippets, character names, etc! How awesome is that?! I have a few friends also doing NaNoWriMo too, and we're all cheering each other on. I haven't decided if I want to start a separate blog for my story and to talk about my writing process. Keeping one blog and attempting to write a novel is difficult enough. I'm also worried about copyright issues with the net. Maybe I'll just post snippets here and there.

I set myself a small goal tonight of about 500-1000 words; there's no set amount you have to write in a day, but 2-3 K per day is average/good progress. I'm adamant about finishing my first scene. I'm trying really hard to just write and NOT edit while I write. Also, I'm handwriting first, then typing after I finish my daily writing. Computers provide too many distractions, and too easy to edit as I go along. Writing in pen on paper forces me to keep going, scratch out here, but no erasing and all mistakes are there to be fixed later. Wish me luck! I'll be updating as I go.

Best Day EVAR x100: Janelle Monae

2010-09-29T23:14:00.002-04:00

Today was the start of the Idea Festival in Louisville and one of the busiest weeks at the center, since we ticket the events which also take place in our building. Janelle Monae was part of one of the events and giving a concert today. I got to work about 2 PM, and one of my coworkers told me he and another co-worker saw Janelle walk through the center up to our small theatre. I was a little jealous and excited.

I'm so glad I worked the counter today. I figured Janelle would be walking through the lobby again, so I'd get the chance to see her sometime that day. Sure enough, I saw her dancers and then her. She was sporting her awesome pompadour hairstyle. She looked directly at me, I smiled, and she smiled back! I was so excited! Later, I got to hear her rehearse; her music and voice carried from the theatre out to the lobby.

After my shift, I planned to peek into the theatre and watch a number or two. We actually had some people return tickets they weren't using; we couldn't resell them, so my supervisor saved one for me because she knew I wanted to see the show. I had to wait a half hour after the concert started because my shift didn't end til then. As soon as I clocked out, I bolted up the steps into the theatre. I had a fantastic house seat, and got to watch the rest of the show.

The concert was AMAZING! Words cannot express how AWESOME Janelle Monae is! She's wildly energetic, eccentric, and talented! Her music is catchy and inspiring. She's all about challenging the norm, pushing the border, but not to the point where she alienates people. She's all about changing the world! Her music shifts genres. Basically Janelle Monae is just GD COOL! No other way to express it! I hadn't heard of her before I started working at the center. I heard my coworkers gush about her; I looked up a couple of her songs on YouTube and liked them. However, seeing her perform live just sealed the deal making me a committed fan for life!

Reason 1,000,001 why I love my job.

Lazy Blog, Ganking a Survey

2010-09-28T23:04:00.001-04:00

I woke up early this morning to get one of my car tires fixed. Then I spent four hours shopping with Matt for Rachel's Bachelorette Party present. We're both indecisive, dwaddling, shoppers. After three hours the only thing we'd bought were soft pretzels which were the best pretzels ever (because we were both starving and had to pay money for them)! An hour later and back to the same mall we started at, I bought something but Matt didn't. I wanted to beat him, but I couldn't since I was equally responsible (if not moreso) for spending so much time out. Regardless, we did have fun, but now I'm exhausted. So I read Emily's blog, copied her survey to post here.

Current Book(s): I am almost finished with MockingJay by Suzanne Collins. It's the last book in The Hunger Games trilogy. It's in a weird spot where a lot of activity is occurring but the plot isn't exactly moving forward. I go back and forth between admiring and disliking the main protagonist, Katniss. I can't exactly go into much detail for risk of spoilers. I will say the series definitely lives up to the hype. Book 1, The Hunger Games, will take your breath away.

Current Playlist: I'm going through my goth girl phase right now. I've been going through a lot of Indica, a Finnish, female, Fairy/Goth, Rock-Pop group. Add to that the symphonic metal band Nightwish (also Finnish and how I discovered Indica). Kalafina, a Japanese female vocal group. The latter isn't exactly goth per say, but many of their songs have a gothic/dark feel to them and are used in gothic/horror animes. I have a love for these groups fusion of symphonic music with rock/metal/pop and the narratives within the songs.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: The Snuggie. Stupidest thing ever. I constantly made fun of until my stepmom gave me one. Now I love it! It's made of cheap fleece and as the commercial says, it's a just a blanket WITH SLEEVES. I'm always cold and the Snuggie is perfect when I'm sitting in the living room reading or on the computer because I can wrap it all around me and still use my hands without having to give up any warmth.

Current Color: That I'm wearing? Blue, but if I could change this snuggie to purple I would.

Current Drink: Nothing at the moment...until I make Dustin get me a glass of water.

Current Food: SUSHI! We went to Oishii on Bardstown today and tried the fruit roll; it was a roll stuffed with fried banana and avocado, with mango, strawberries, and eel sauce on top. A-MA-ZING.

Current Favorite Show: Glee, hands down. The music, the awesome one-liners from Brittany, fun, and hyper-realism all combine to make the show one of the best shows ever.

Current Wishlist: More money; simple as that. It's rough being on your own with a just above minimum wage job (albeit one I love) and having multiple bills; then there are those unexpected problems.

Current Needs: Once again, money.

Current Bane(s) of my Existence: Grad School & Finances.

Current Celebrity Crush: Kevin McHale & Matthew Morrison (Artie and Mr. Schue from Glee)

Current Outfit: Black yoga pants, gray and purple Tokyo Pop t-shirt, and a blue snuggie.

Current Excitement: St. James Art Fair and Rachel's Bachelorette Party!

Current Link: Smart Bitches Trashy Books - a really awesome blog that discusses romance novels from a couple smart and hilarious "bitches." The Help A Bitch Out feature is always a great read. Their book reviews are handy for navigating the vast world of romance novels.

A Country Weekend

2010-09-28T00:32:00.000-04:00

Weekend before last I left behind my comfy city life and internets for the country in Owensboro, KY. My friend Rachel was having a wedding shower. I carpooled with my friends Cassie and Matt. Matt and I were ashamedly late arriving to Cassie's apartment; thankfully, she was not too upset with us and did not give her teacher lecture. Despite the fact I was responsible for being late, I placed the blame on Matt saying he had to change four times before we left his apartment (note: he came up with the excuse and gave me permission to use it). Cassie drove to Owensboro as she was an expert at navigating back roads and had a car that would actually make the trip. The scenery was really pretty; we saw lots of farms with HORSES (yes, I'm still a 10 year old girl who gets excited at the sight of horses).

We only got lost a little bit due to missing/poorly placed signs and some street address confusion. We arrived at Rachel's and chilled for a little bit, playing with her kitties and puppy. Then we went out to the Bridesmaids luncheon at a new, slightly fancy international restuarant. I ordered a Mahi Mahi stuffed with spinach and ricotta cheese served with pesto fries. The food was good, albeit the portion was rather small. Not having eaten all day, I was still starving. Cassie felt the same; we went to the Dollar General right after lunch to get cards and wrapping paper, but also bought a big bag of pretzels to share. We went back to the house where Rachel gave us our bridal party gifts; she gave me a spangly, bohemian necklace & earring set.

We hung out a little more at the house until it was time to go out to her Grandpa's (on her dad's side) house way out somewhere in the country further than we were before. The house was beautiful with the most fabulous screened porch and gazebo ever! There were also horses and barn kitties present. We ate a great dinner of ham, other stuff, and the best baked beans in Owensboro (that Rachel's dad made it a point to pick up personally). Rachel opened presents, and everyone just sat around drinking and talking the rest of the night.

We got to the swanky hotel Rachel's parents put us up in late that evening. Matt and I went in ahead of Cassie (she was doing something important, can't remember what). Matt mentioned how nice he felt in his business attire and it looked like he just came from an important business conference. I said to him, "Matt you know it looks like we're having an affair now right. We're both in business attire and walking into a hotel together. Men only go to business conferences to have affairs, you know." We had a good laugh over it. The next morning we got up early to eat breakfast and go to church. Cassie left super early for choir practice. That left Matt and me to get ready around the same time. I told Matt when we were both getting ready in front of the bathroom mirror, this was married couple behavior, and I fully expected him to leave his imaginary wife for me. As we were leaving the room, Matt said, "Damn, it does look like we had an affair. We're both leaving the room and getting in the elevator without looking at each other."

Rachel's church is a Methodist church. All of us joked about Matt and I being Catholic and not having been to Protestant church but once. We needed a little instruction as to what the proper behavior was. Rachel warned us her preacher was really wacky, and told us not to judge all Methodists/Protestants by him. The preacher made obvious jibes at Catholicism talking about the Sacrament; he compared Catholics to pagan heathens. He then went on random tangents about spiritual and physical gifts/talents and something about football; I got kinda lost in the Southern church metaphors. We all chuckled in church but refrained from inappropriate behavior since Rachel was getting married in the church and with many of the same people present (who were all very nice, I might add). I think the most notable moment of the service was when Cassie and Rachel sang a duet together; it was such a pretty number.

Following church we got lunch from Ritzy's; it's a local Steak-n-Shake type place that Cassie kept raving about for its cherry amaretto shakes. We took the food and at Rachel's aunt's farm. This was the first time I'd been to a real farm. We went to the pond and saw giant Coi and Catfish. There were chickens and Guinea fowl wandering all about the place. There was a really nice dog and barn kitties galore (all of whom where either black, black & white, or gray)! The barn kitties were really sociable unlike the ones we saw the previous night. We saw a momma goat and her two babies. We got to hold baby chicks (one had just hatched that morning)! The best part was when we got to pet the horses! There were five total, and one was a six-month-old colt! I probably acted like I was an elementary school kid the way I was squeeing and getting all excited about the animals.

We eventually had to leave to get back to the church for the second wedding shower. The basement was decorated to fit Rachel's western theme. We played some fun shower games, snacked, and watched Rachel open presents--best of which was the infamous "Ugly Bowl" which had been in her family for a long time. Rachel vowed to turn it into something beautiful. I said, "Rachel you can bedazzle it!" She said, "I'll bedazzle it and give it to you at your wedding. It's time the Ugly Bowl found a new home." After the presents were all opened, Cassie, Matt, and I booked it back to Louisville where I gushed to Dustin all night about going to the farm and petting the animals.

Quickie Blog of Lotsa Topics

2010-09-18T01:16:00.001-04:00

Need to go to effing bed and stop dwelling on grad school "dra-ma." I wrote a long convoluted blog to myself to rationalize everything. I know what the answer is, despite how I protest and say I don't care and "fuck this shit!" I do care; I would regret not finishing grad school. So I gotta suck it up, find some way to pay for one more semester of candidacy, and I am going to get my shit together for real.

Gotta get up early; heading to Owensboro tomorrow/today for Rachel and Will's wedding shower. Carpooling with friends Cassie and Matt; road-tripping with multiple people is always fun. Rachel's parents are putting us all up in a nice hotel. :) Bridesmaid luncheon tomorrow too. I forsee lots of Mimosas, laughing, and inappropriate comments and behavior. Then another shower on Sunday with the other side of Rachel's family (her mom's I think); that shower is the "girly" one. Rachel is bringing two of her three kitties and dog; I'm so excited as I love cats, and Bob and Cece are still kittens to boot! And Alice is adorable!

Thank God for Dustin and his awesome family! He puts up with all my grad school drama in addition to whatever craziness is going in my life. His parents took us out to dinner tonight. Then Dustin and I poked around B-A-M, and he offered to buy me Catching Fire, the second book in The Hunger Games series. BEST FIANCE EVER! I told him, he didn't have to get it because he's saving up for bills and tickets to Spring Awakening. However, he insisted; I think it was partially to make up for the fact he bought FFXIV today. I told him to take me to Target because the book was cheaper there despite being in hardback. He was tired by the time we got to Target (he'd been up since 7 AM with almost no break), so he told me to just take his card and go inside to buy the book while he waited in the car. Again, BEST FIANCE EVER! Books are always the best gifts! Love him regardless of presents, but it's always nice when he sporadically buys a book for me.

My Big Weekend of Awesome and Worst Firsts

2010-09-12T23:40:00.001-04:00

I had a lot of big "firsts" this weekend. First time I worked all weekend. First time I worked a crazy Saturday with four shows.

First "first" of note was my first time receiving and using comp tickets! The best thing about working at the KY Center is that you can almost always get comps for just about anything. I was so excited to see my comp request in my mailbox with my tickets for the Louisville Ballet's performance of Giselle. The seats were awesome to boot--orchestra row L, seat 41 and 42 (dead center)!

I had my first encounter with major drama. One of the lead dancers in the ballet had comp tickets through the Louisville Ballet. He wanted to exchange them for two tickets seated together. I wasn't able to do so because his tickets came directly from the Louisville Ballet not the KY Center. I told him he could come back at 1:00 when the ballet rep would be at the box office. The dancer became very huffy and self-important. He got really mad and announced, "I can't come back at 1:00! I'm in the show! I'm dancing the lead in the show! This is ridiculous!" Mr. Diva Dancer Man with Ratty Hair stormed out the center, in the words of one of my co-workers, like a psycho lumberjack going out into the woods to kill somebody. He came back at 1:00, was nice to the ballet rep, got his tickets exchanged, and seemed in a better mood afterward. He never apologized, so he's still a jerk in my book.

Later that evening, Dustin and I ate sushi at a local sushi bar called Oishii--first time going there. It was AMAZING! The sushi was great and the portions very generous. Prices were what you'd expect for sushi, and there was a ton of variety! We got a Louisville Roll (spicy crab, avocado, with seared Salmon and eel sauce on top) and a 2-in-1 roll (cooked spicy tuna roll deep fried, wrapped inside a spicy crab roll with avocado).

Following dinner, we went home, I change and picked up my friend Matt (who willingly replaced Dustin as my date) to go see the ballet. Neither of us had ever been to see an actual ballet. Well technically, I have been to the ballet, but the show was actually an opera turned into a ballet performance. The opera singers were present, but in the pit. If there are singers involved, I don't count it as ballet. I was worried I would be a little bored because there was no dialouge or singing. I was absolutely wowed by the show. My friend Matt was too. He told me, "I went in prepared to hate the show. I only wanted to go, so I could say I'd been to a ballet. But it was really cool! I don't if it's the gayness in me or what, but I really like it!" I'll post a more in depth review later.

I had three awesome "first" experiences and one bad "first," since there needs to be balance, the universe couldn't leave the score at that. Today, I got pulled over for the first time and my first speeding ticket! The cop was a major jerk and who was obviously using me to fill his quota. I was late to work, and everyone speeds on I-65--no goes 55 mph!!! The primary reason I got pulled over was because I passed him (in an undercover cop car)! I was going 74-77, but think how fast he had to be going for me to pass him (at least 65!)!!! He turned on the lights and sirens, and so my first instinct was to stop and pull over to the left emergency lane. Only there wasn't a left emergency lane. Then I saw the cop pull over the right emergency lane; for half a minute I thought about just going on past. However, I didn't think it would be a good idea since he could probably get license plate number and would probably pursue me. Then I'd be in bigger trouble if I got caught or even more late to work trying to lose him. I pulled over to the side, the cop proceeds to say in a rude tone, "Have you ever been pulled over before?!" I answered no. He took my license and insurance. He ran my license plate number, and had to come back to ask what state my car was from. I told him SC, he thought NC, and walked off and though I kept repeating SC--he obviously didn't hear. He came back cited me for speeding and CARELESS DRIVING! Because I almost STOPPED! He told me I wasn't supposed to stop because I was in the left lane; I would be allowed to get over to the right, and next time to do so. I have to go to traffic court now on Oct. 11! Another first!

I'm so exhausted from the weekend. I ended up feeling sick today on top of everything. I'm looking forward to a tame week--until Rachel's wedding shower this weekend. Another first! First time being a bridesmaid! I don't think it's possible to ever run out of "firsts."

Alchemy

2010-09-02T00:52:00.001-04:00

Trust Dustin to try to come up with a witty excuse for eating my Oreos. He said he would buy me a Godiva chocolate bar (they're on sale right now) if he could eat some of my Oreos. I told him okay, that's a fair exchange.

Dustin says, "It's alchemy! I can't make nothing out of thin air. I'm changing something for another."

Me, "That's not alchemy! You're not changing something INTO another!"

Dustin, "Well, I'm going to change it into something later."

*facepalm* Such is my relationship.

Then he goes and eats a whole row of Oreos; we have very different definitions of "some"! I think I need to make various contracts for these type of situations, and each sign off on it. He is just lucky that I love him and that he loves and accepts all my crazy eccentricities. Plus, I just as often eat his sweets, and he's bought me ice cream like countless times. I guess things even out. I still think I ought to make a contract.

Brief Life Update

2010-08-31T23:54:00.001-04:00

Blog, blog, blog, I always feel I don't ever have anything exciting to write about. I don't feel like I should be forced to write when I don't feel it. However, I have had quite a few things worth a quick blog about, so I'm gonna shove 'em all together.

My good friend and former college roomie Rachel Roberts is getting married this November! Since I'm a bridesmaid, my social calendar suddenly has a whole bunch of fun things filling it up. I've been getting a lot of fancy, social important mail, save the date, wedding invitation, shower invitation, and bachelorette party invitation. It makes me excited to check the mailbox and a little grown-up.

Dustin and I have new friends, and they're a couple to boot! Their names are Julie and Timothy. They're nerds but primarily gamers. We hung out together on Saturday playing Smash brothers (I fail at this game), Disney Sing-A-Long (Dustin and I sang A Whole New World together--very romantic and cute), and Cranium (which Dustin and I totally dominated with our college learningz). We'll likely be hanging out again in the future sometime though not sure when. I'll just wait for a facebook messaging.

There needs to be a "Parking Downtown Lousiville for Dummies" guidebook for me because I not only fail at driving downtown, I fail at parking too. Apparently, all this time I thought I was parking in the KY Center garage, I was parking in the River Front Garage. The latter is more expensive and not free on weekends or after 8 PM. However, it does lead directly up to the KY Center which is really confusing. On Sunday, when I finally found and parked in the correct garage (right next door, though kind of hidden); I forget which side I parked on only remembering I parked next to an elevator. I took the elevator in the front of the building down only to not find my car; so I went up and down for like 20 minutes (I'm sure my co-workers thought I was crazy and the dumbest girl imaginable if they saw me). Finally, I just walked out the front of the center, down the sidewalk to the front of the garage, took the stairs down, and then magically ended up at my car. I didn't understand how I could take an elevator up from the garage to the center, but not back down to the same place. Then Dustin reminded me, there are two sets of elevators in the building. DUH! Again, seriously, someone needs to create a downtown Louisville parking guide, but it's freakin' confusing and nuts down there! I think I could write an epic novel on my parking/driving exploits downtown.

Wordless Wednesday: Kalafina, "kagayaku sora no shijima ni wa"

2010-08-25T12:28:00.000-04:00

Unicorns Make Everything AWESOME

2010-08-21T01:44:00.000-04:00

Poking around knowyourmeme.com and found out about the Cornified meme. There's an awesome site called cornify.com. It's basically a parody service site in which you can cover your website and any photos with unicorns and glitter. Needless to say, I had way too much fun with the site. I love me some unicorns, so that plus boredom, and free time late at night = these kinds of photos.

Damn Yankees

2010-08-19T01:27:00.000-04:00

My job is a pretty nice gig. Like with any sales job there are nice customers, mean customers, and wacky customers. I received my first truly wacky phone call on Tuesday. A man called to ask about purchasing tickets to see Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons and to make sure there was wheel chair accessible seating. Like most people going to see the show, he made mention he and his wife were really familiar with the music--his wife grew up in the area where Frankie Vallie and his music started. His wife grew up in Philadelphia, thus she was a Yankee, and that's where it all started.

The man said everyone made fun of him, saying it was a very old tradition of a Southerner marrying a Yankee girl. And she was going to have to learn that things were different in the South.

I was thinking, "Where are we, back in the Antebellum South?"

Then he said, "I used to practice law back in the day, and you could discredit the defense by pointing out that the complaining witness was a Yankee." Basically he continued on to say people who should've by all means been found guilty and placed in jail for long periods of time got off practically scot-free because they were Southerners. In contrast, Yankees tended to get harsher sentences.

Me: "Mmmhmmm...*polite chuckle* Seriously? I wonder how old this guy is."

Out of the blue, the conversation turns to one particular case which was pretty hilarious to listen to.

"I remember a case where these two guys from Illinois came down to buy some drugs you know. And they paid a guy with a check, but it wasn't a regular check, it was a cold check [note: googled this and found it's a check written on an account that doesn't have enough money to cover the debt]. It was a $3,000 check. I mean who pays for marijuana with a check?! And then they came back some time later and bought some using another check! Again, I mean who pays for marijuana with a check?!"

There were more details about the case, I kind of tuned out. The jury didn't want to be a hanged jury, so they made some sort of quick random decision. The guys were charged with some misdemeanor crime and charged heavy fines.

The guy finally finished his story, said he needed to consult with his wife about the show date and ticket prices, and said bye.

I spent probably twenty minutes on the phone listening to the guy, and he didn't even buy tickets. Ah well, at least I got the experience and a funny story. It's those damn Yankees.

Home Sweet Home

2010-08-12T18:48:00.002-04:00

I have three places I call home: my apartment in Louisville, my mom's house in SC, and my dad's house in NC. So it's always funny and occasionally confusing when I say "I'm home!" Back from a few days at the beach. The weather was wonderful, and there were lots of lovely tide pools to lay and relax in on our last day. I met my cousin Emily's cousin on her mother's side (so I guess she's like an extended cousin by marriage?). Her name is Marianne, and she's from Germany! Her mother is Vietnamese, and her father is French. She's really nice and fun. Also met the two most adorable twin Vietnamese girls! They were adopted by a couple who used to live next door and is good friends with one of my uncles. They were so small and cute and reminded me of me and my sister when we were little.

Hrrrmmm...not much to say. Nothing too particularly exciting. Went crab hunting one night and caught a crab with my bare hands! I got pinched twice in the process! I still have the marks on my finger. The crabs were really small, they're not in season this time of year. My uncle caught one really large rock crab using a trap. Also, my cousin Khoa saw Andrew Zimmerman eat sand crabs/sand fleas when he went to Thailand. So my family dug up a huge load of sand crabs, battered them, and deep fried them. I didn't try one, but my cousin Kim said they tasted like a combination of shrimp and crab. Such is my family; they are pretty hardcore when it comes to catching fresh seafood.

Now at Barnes and Noble just chilling and mooching off the free wi-fi. Going to Golden Corral shortly; my dad says he likes the buffet there better than the Chinese buffet. The only reason to go to the Chinese buffet is the unlimited crab legs and sushi. Posting a few pics of the vacation, more later.

Vacation: Take 2

2010-08-07T23:44:00.000-04:00

On my second and last vacation of the summer. I was actually somewhat reluctant to go because I'm kind of vacationed out after Florida and the cruise to the Caribbean. Also, I just started my new job at the KY Center, and hate to lose hours not long after I've started. This time, I'm on vacation with MY FAMILY--a bunch of crazy Asians all of them, no exaggeration. I flew out of Louisville this morning with only a 15 minute delay and made it just in time for my connecting flight to Augusta--yay for no extensive delays or layovers!

Once in Augusta, my sister and I went to Atlanta Bread Company for lunch. We came home, she ran errands while I talked with my mom and attempted to sneak in a nap which lasted for about 5 minutes max. We went shopping at the Aiken mall because it's tax free weekend in SC. I came out with a sophisticated, white blazer jacket for about $17 from Dillards. I'm picky about my clothes and am unwilling to pay over $20 for a polyester cotton blend shirt much less $40 on a pair of pants--granted it was buy one get one for $1! Even though it was tax free weekend and my mother was paying, if I wouldn't pay for the clothes with my own money why should I make my mom? Then again I doubt my mom would consent. I kind of wanted to pick up a cool book of essays on True Blood and Philosphy. I read one about Sookie and how she reflects the conflicts between feminists and the feminists movement. It's philosophy "lite" and geared toward a much more casual, albeit educated audience--definitely not towards academics.

Tomorrow, my sister and I are driving to NC and will not be getting lost this time, especially because we are leaving early in the morning! We are going to see our Dad and all our relatives on his side. Monday, we're heading to the beach for several days (more driving); everyone's already there and waiting for us. I'm going to tan, enjoy listening to Vietnamese karaoke going on ALL DAY, hang out with my cousins, eat twenty times a day, and oh yeah, swim in the ocean and maybe read more of Pillars of the Earth.

Working Girl, Working Hard

2010-07-29T23:45:00.001-04:00

I have now worked at the KY Center for the Arts for four days now; two days of training and computer stuff; two days of actual shadowing and being in the box office area. It's actually kind of neat to see one of the business aspects of the theatre, and it can be a rough job as I saw today. Jersey Boys just recently opened, and it's so popular. There are annoying customers in every job involving sales, and I seemed to experience them all today. Everyone keeps wanting to buy last minute tickets for this weekend. Everyone also wants really good seats, but for really cheap--like orchestra row H center for $40. There are people who want you to go over all the seats available in every price range for multiple showings--each time asking "Are those bad/good seats?"Today there was a lady who ordered tickets, then wanted a refund because she and the people she was going with would be offended by cursing. She basically accused my co-worker (who I was shadowing) of deceiving her; tricking her into buying tickets, then telling her about the cursing afterward when the tickets were paid for and non-refundable. Luckily, the tickets hadn't been printed, so the order had not been processed, and it was reversible. The box office was crazy today, but I think these kind of days are the ones you learn the most on.

Nevertheless, I still love my job, except that I have to drive downtown and pay for parking. At least on weekends and nights I work shows, I don't have to pay for parking. I really enjoy the environment, and all my co-workers are nice, fun, chatty, and awesome. The girl I was shadowing today is still fairly new (she's worked since May), so we're learning together. She reminds me a lot of myself, and most importantly she loves Idina Menzel. I think I'm going to make her my work BFF. Again, this is the best job I've ever had. Aside from having awesome co-workers, learning new comp skills to pimp my resume, working for/in the theatre, I can read on the job when I'm not taking phone calls or selling tickets! I really feel like I am the luckiest working girl right now!

Finally A JOB!

2010-07-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

Last week I went on an interview with the KY Center for the Arts. I found the job via Craigslist and immediately sent an email reply. Then I placed a call to my good friend Cassie who works there. She sent in a recommendation to the manager, and I got a quick response. I was one of the first people interviewed, and I was told it'd be at least a week and a half to two weeks before I'd get a call/email back. I was told by Cassie, it would definitely take that long because the people tend to be really pokey about this sort of thing.

Today, I got on Craigslist scanning for more jobs. I went to my email to send a reply to one of the ads when I saw an email from the KY Center. It said my background check had cleared and they would love to offer me the job! I took it right away, and now I'm scheduled to come in Tuesday from 12-4 PM for training and paperwork!

It's still a twenty-something job that pays a little above minimum wage ($7.55). However, it's a place where I won't hate going to work. It actually comes with benefits I'd use and care about: comp tickets and advance ticket sales to concerts/plays/broadway shows. It's involved with the ARTS; the people I work with are cultured and appreciate all the arts. There's no crappy music pop/rap/r&b/new country to listen to anymore at work. I don't have to wear an ugly/bland uniform. I'm so excited and happy about this job.

It's been a loooong dry spell, and my savings are pretty much gone from paying rent for the past 6 months. I was getting quite desperate. I had to ask my parents for money to help me out this month. I was raiding through my closet and belongings trying to figure out what I could sell to help pay rent. I've been without work for about 7 1/2 months!!! I am so relieved to finally have a job and one that I actually want! Everyone but me has been able to got a job somewhere I wanted. No more retail or food service or warehouse (netflix)!

True Love

2010-07-12T03:07:00.002-04:00

Dustin and I have been together for over four years! We've been engaged for over half a year now! I think I'm often guilty of taking him and his unconditional love for granted. Going through the craziness of trying to sort my life out and wedding planning, I've realized I sometimes lose track of what's important: Dustin and true love. Nothing can stop TRUE LOVE (The Princess Bride is the truth). For me, true love isn't sweep you off your feet romance or crazy passion all day everyday. It's the comfort of sitting next to someone knowing he is your best friend, your other half, and doesn't care about anything but the smile on your face. I am so happy to be and crazy in love with Dustin, the nerdy boy with dark hair and glasses, I met at Gattiland who openly professed his love of Sailor Moon.

Hello, I Left My Brain in Faerie World

2010-05-27T14:46:00.004-04:00

So last Wednesday I had the opportunity to meet one of my favorite writers, Holly Black. Dustin and I drove to Lexington to Jospeh-Beth Bookstore which was huge, gorgeous, and AH-MAY-ZING! I had one of the best moments of my life and one of the most embarassing. The book talk started at 7:00 PM, and we arrived a little late. I was surprised to see another person talking and standing next to Holly. I didn't know she was touring with another author. I originally thought it might be her agent or a PR person, but I quickly realized she was another writer of urban fantasy. Holly and the other writer began talking about their books and read excerpts from one of their books.

I went over to Dustin and quietly asked him to look up on his phone (he has the internet) who the second writer was. He looked it up and told me it was Cassandra Clare. I was a little puzzled because the book being talked about by the second writer didn't seem like any of the books published by Clare; Dustin mentioned she had said something about writing a prequel. So, I thought "Okay, maybe it's really new, and it's not on her site yet."I was kind of excited because I've been meaning to read Clare's books.

My attention went back to the talk, and when the time came for questions, I asked Holly Black, "Did you ever consider an alternate setting for Tithe because your faeries are very Old World, mysterious, violent, merciless as opposed to the modern, kind of 19th century faeries which are kind, benevolent and beautiful?" She responded, "No. I chose New Jersey because I lived there and it has these old, beautiful, rundown buildings in midst of this new, modern city. My mom and I actually broke into one of these old buildings. We found these beautiful, old carousel horses in one; my mom was a painter and wanted to take photographs of them so she could paint them. I liked the idea of these old creatures living in these rundown buildings in this city. So it made it more real, like you could actually spot them out of the corner of your eye." Some other cool info I learned, is that Tithe took five years to write; it was her first novel, and she struggled writing it and learned a lot. Tithe has also been picked up for a movie--though, I'm uncertain what to expect; crossing my fingers.

Eventually, everyone got the chance to meet and greet the authors and have books signed. I brought with me Tithe and purchased, Holly's new book, White Cat. I gave them to her to sign and talked with her. I told her, "I remember when Tithe first came out, and I loved it. I waited so long for Ironside [the sequel]." She was like, "I bet." There were five years in between the two: 2002-2007. I meant to get a photograph; Dustin had my camera and everything, but I completely forgot.

I was going to pick up a book out of the second author's series on the table, entitled The Demon's Lexicon and ask the second writer to sign it. However, thinking it was Cassandra Clare, I had told Dustin before we got to the table, I'd like to have the older books (like I said earlier, I thought these were a prequel), such as City of Bones. Then I changed my mind and was going to get one of the books on the table signed, but Dustin was insistent I get City of Bones--he went and found it. So I tell the second writer hello, and say she's been on my to-read list for a while. And Dustin puts the book on the table, she looked puzzled, and nicely said, "That's great, but um, I didn't write that book." I thought, "OH NO! I just made a total idiot of myself, she probably hates me now because I don't know who she is." I profusely apologized, and she just smiled, laughed, and said it was no big deal.

I played it off well though, shifting the blame to Dustin. I said he had told me Cassandra Clare was touring with Holly. And Holly said, yeah the online site had said that, and they were originally, but something changed. I talked to the second writer, who's name was Sarah Rees Brennan, about YA fiction. I said, "I think YA fiction has some of the best stories. I'm 24, and kind of used to be embarrassed because I love YA fiction. However, reading more and talking to people (on book blogs), I realized so many other older people read these books." Sarah agreed with me. Holly added that she believed 90 percent of their readers were adults. We talked a little bit more about Zombies--relating to the current war among writers: Zombies VS. Unicorns; Sarah was Team Zombie (as was Dustin) and Holly and I were Team Unicorn. There's a book called Zombies VS. Unicorns coming out which Holly Black and several other writers duke it out in the form of short stories.

I left feeling exhilarated and embarrassed. I thought about getting the correct book and asking Sarah to sign afterward, but then I felt like, "Nah. I'll get it later, read it, and then twitter her saying 'Hey, I'm the girl who brought you the wrong book to sign, but I read your book now and loved it.'" I'm quite sure I will enjoy her books. As we were leaving the book signing area and going up the escalator, we turned around and saw a big banner that said "Welcome Holly Black and Sarah Rees Brennan." Felt like a big doofus. I met Holly Black and discovered a YA urban fantasy author, and that's the important part.

Teachers in Fiction

2010-05-18T00:00:00.001-04:00

This summer I recently read the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. The book focuses on a girl named Melinda who has been severely traumatized. As a result, she socially isolates herself, and rarely speaks, and whenever she does it's only small words or short sentences. She goes through a long process of self-growth and by the end of the book, she manages to come to terms with the trauma. Tonight, I saw the movie based on the book on Lifetime, and watched it with my fiance Dustin.

Dustin got really angry at the movie for the way it portrayed the adults--especially the teachers, since he's a teacher himself. They all appeared completely oblivious to Melinda's situation--the fact she is manically depressed and socially withdrawn. They attribute her failing grades and lack of class participation to an attitude problem. Then there is the situation of the horrible social studies teacher "Mr. Neck" who is a complete jerk to Melinda, changes the requirements of her make-up assignment at the last minute, and when she refuses to cooperate he sends her to the principal. The principal is hardly sympathetic, and blame kept being shifted between parents and teachers. Dustin said, "These teachers are always villanized. Why does the character have to undergo growth alone?! Why can't they grow through the help of their teachers? In real life, Mr. Neck would've gotten suspended. The principal and teachers would've known something was up with Melinda. I know when something is even slightly off with my students!"

I started thinking about it. There are a lot of awful teachers in fiction, particularly ones featuring dysfunctional or depressed teenagers. Is it just a feature of the genre? They don't always have bad teachers, there's always that one teacher that has an understanding. There are bad teachers in real life, but are there any as extreme as some of the ones we see in fiction? Why do the teachers not push the student(s) further when they know for certain there's a problem? Why are they made to seem so apathetic or oblivious to their students? I think this trope is also more prevalent in movies/TV than books. Specifically, I think of all those "inspirational" teaching films like Freedom Writers, Take the Lead, Stand and Deliver, etc. Many of these teachers in the films are awful or have given up on all these students. The principals are apathetic and also burned out. Then the teacher who is successful is one with unconventional methods and is automatically hated or resented by the rest of the teaching staff.

What do you make of this trend? Is it bothersome to you? Why aren't there as many positive and active teachers in TV/movies? If it's not irritating, do you just write it off as being part of the plot line--sort of like suspending your disbelief? Do you think the amount of "bad" teachers in film outweigh the "good"? What other ways are teachers stereotyped both negative and positive?

Wordless Wednesday: Prom

2010-05-12T17:05:00.001-04:00

My Dream Wedding - Literally

2010-05-12T00:48:00.001-04:00

I had the wildest wedding dream last night, which is likely a manifestation of some of my wedding anxieties...despite the fact it's like two years away.

I was dressed in a beautiful, albeit very revealing wedding gown--kind of like this photo only the cut was lower, there was a larger gap between the cups of the bodice, and the top edges were more pointy (yes, with certain dreams, I remember a crazy amount of detail). I have a notable lack of boobness to say the least, and so in my dream, I obviously needed inserts. There's a huge gap between my boobs and the bodice. I attempt to insert this little gel pads into my bodice, but they aren't fitting right and the bodice isn't filling out. I look at the box, they're shoe inserts! I run around in a panic looking for boob inserts.

I run upstairs where Dustin is, and I say to him, "Oh wait, you're not supposed to see me. Oh well, I don't care." I run back down stairs to outside. A guy I know from the IRC chat I frequent, tells me I have to walk down the aisle to Canon in D. I tell him "NO! Fuck you! I'm NOT going to walk down the aisle to Canon in D!"

I run away again, this time to a drugstore run by a Vietnamese lady. I see a woman with nasty, blonde hair with black roots showing crouching down. I pass her in my search for boob inserts. She then tries to run out of the store unseen, but is caught by the owner. She apparently was trying to steal money. And the Vietnamese lady starts yelling at her, "You're trying to steal my money?! You didn't ask to borrow it or anything!" I look up and down the aisles of the store, finding more shoe inserts and tampons and pads. I finally spot one boob insert, which actually looks like half a bra without the strap, and address the store owner in Vietnamese. However, I don't know how to ask "Do you have any more of these in stock" in Vietnamese, so I ask her in English. She tells me "no."

So I run back to the place I was getting ready at. On the way I pass the chapel, and see my friend Simon. He tells me, "All the guests have been waiting for an hour and a half! It's Super Bowl Sunday or weekend!" I'm like, "I know! I'll be really quick!" Then a girl I know from theatre at U of L, shows up and tells me using an IPod to provide music for my type of wedding is tacky. She says she has everything all orchestrated for me. I staunchly tell her I'm going to use my IPod, and I don't care what she thinks. I realize I left my IPod in my high school locker. The locker is locked with a combination lock which I can't remember the combination to. I keep trying the numbers and finally give up, ready to tell the music girl to use the orchestra and Canon in D. Then I go back to the dressing room and find my IPod in my purse.

Frustrated by not finding boob inserts, I start ripping up brown and pink fabric and wrap it around my boobs on top of my dress. I yell, "I don't care anymore!" Someone hands me a bunch of light purple balloons to hold. I look at my bouquet sitting on the table and then to the balloons; I say, "I don't care! It'll cover my boobs!" I grab the balloons and then decide since I'm going to be tacky, to slip on my teal Old Navy flip flops.

After all these shenanigans and frustrations, I wake up. I didn't even get to walk down the aisle. Nevertheless, it was pretty amusing, not to mention wacky. It was a literal dream wedding though definitely not ideal.

Glee...How Did I Get Along Without You?

2010-05-05T23:09:00.002-04:00

I'm currently addicted to Fox's Glee. It's the perfect merging of High School Musical, every other high school teenage soap opera, and satire. I absolutely LOVE this show! It does fall into many stereotypes, but there's something unique that makes it better than any high school drama on TV. I'd say it's the choice in casting, the music, and partly the story. I also admit, I largely live vicariously through these characters in this show.

The characters are all really quirky and colorful despite all being stereotypes and undergoing little to no development. You love almost all of the characters from the start; you don't want them to change except to become more confident. They all make me laugh. My favorite characters are Kurt and Tina. Kurt is so earnest in his love for sparkles and theatre and performing. He's the guy I would want to hang out with in high school or any other time. Tina's got the super fun goth clothes complete with the blue streaks in her hair. She's awkward and shy, but pretty cool all around. Shame she doesn't get that much screen time or many solos; love her and Artie as a couple. The more of Rachel I watch, the more I realize she's the most like me. Smart, pretentious, ambitious, yet with a lot of anxieties and a deep seated desire to be popular even though she knows it's shallow and "wrong." My sister was the one who first pointed out our similarities. Now I can't get over how much I was like her in high school even down to the clothes; as Kurt said, she [read: I] dresses somewhere between a three year old and forty year old woman. She drives me crazy, and I have to wonder did I drive people just as crazy.

This show has plenty of awesome music. It mixes Broadway showtunes, with modern pop and r&b music, with 80s rock hits! I'm still squeeing over Heart's "Alone" performed in a duet by Kristen Chenoweth (she plays the role of a former high school student and Glee Club member) and Matthew Robinson (Mr. Schuester)! I adored the homage to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" music video. The Glee Club's rehearsal of "Don't Rock the Boat" had me in stitches. There's so much variety of music in the show. Furthermore, the music is so expertly arranged that you find yourself enjoying songs that you originally didn't, for example "Mercy" by Duffy.

The story isn't anything original; the usual underdogs rising to the top and dealing with the issues of being a high school teenager. I think the scenarios that come up and obstacles they have to face make the story different and interesting. I keep thinking the way Mr. Schuester made Finn join the Glee Club was pretty unusual, not to mention hilarious. One of the best things about the show is the bringing in of all the celebrities for different wacky, characters. Hello, IDINA MENZEL! I could wax forever about GLEE and why I love it, but I think I'll stop here.

Blogging Miscellany

2010-05-05T00:50:00.002-04:00

Today was somewhat uneventful. I got my hair cut after it letting it grow out and get messy for over several months.

Dustin applied for two jobs--one of which is definitely guaranteed. I put in another job application. Putting in more apps, going to go the temp agency, and crossing my fingers, hoping someone calls.

Been having problems with installing blog layouts and not having the comments section work. It's really frustrating. I've just been too lazy to make my own. Now, it seems I have to. I wish I knew more about coding CSS and such so I could make my site a little fancy. Still, I'm pretty good with designing headers in photoshop, so I'm cool with having a simple layout with a nice header.

Trying to get into the habit of blogging daily. The excuse I always make not to blog is "I have nothing interesting to blog about." Then I don't blog or I put off blogging because I don't think an event interesting enough or don't get around to it. So even if I don't think there's much to blog about, I still need to blog.

Actually, something significant happened yesterday to a good friend, that I just found out about today. There's been a quite a bit of raging and f'yous going around. Also, a little sadness because a site I and many others have put a lot of work into is going down the drain because of poor executive decisions and lack of executive care.

School's Out for Summer!

2010-05-04T02:56:00.003-04:00

Whoohoo! I'm done with grad school except for my culminating project! Candidacy for the Fall, and then I'll be done. Dustin's graduating this Saturday with his Masters in education--I'm so proud of him! He's going to be an awesome teacher!

Now that's school's out, I'm at a loss of what to do. I don't have job still, so that's my top priority. I'm going to look into doing volunteer work; I sit here and espouse my ideals of bettering society and mourn people's lack of empathy while I haven't done anything productive myself. I'm going to change that by volunteering at a library, the humane society, Frasier musuem or KY Shakespeare Festival. This will also get me out and hopefully, I'll be able to make new friends outside of school.

Of course, everything currently depends on my having a car; mine is sadly too far gone and expensive to fix. Right now, I have Dustin to take me whereever, but once he starts working he can't. His mom generously offered the use of her car which she doesn't drive, since Scott (her husband) got a new one, and she carpools with her mother to work.

Here are my summer plans:
-Get a job
-Volunteer at least once a week
-Work on culminating project
-Book Club (with Paducah friends) - I already finished the first book!
-Take on and complete 50 Book Challenge
-Keep up with my reading journal
-Blog regularly
-Start writing short stories again
-Spend more time editing the wiki on and writing articles for AnimeVice
-Disney World and Cruise to the Virgin Islands! (Generously paid for by Dustin's parents)

It Takes A Lot of Effort NOT to Do Work

2010-04-07T02:02:00.006-04:00

I'm quickly running out of things to avoid doing my homework and massive research paper due within a matter of weeks. It's so hard to come up with reasons unless I'm in a comatose state due to allergy meds. There's only so many places to go to run errands in a day, limited time spent eating, only a few decent things to watch on TV, and now I'm pretty much out of things to do on the internet. I'm just so damn sick of school and want a job (JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE) and internship at a library or museum somewhere but that also depends on doing well in school I suppose so I can get good references. And I don't want to even think about my culminating project which I have not touched since writing my proposal in February which was too broad and thus rejected. I've been in school my whole damn life, and now I feel like I'm just now getting into my rebellious teenager "FUCK SCHOOL" phase at 24 in my second year of grad school.

I just feel I need to don Hot Topic goth/punk girl clothes, heavy black eyeliner, converses and not brush my hair. Then I should I sing this song by Skye Sweetnam "Billy S." The ultimate pop punk song because let's be honest: I'm not into real punk; I like it to be a little girly and have pink mixed in with my black. Better yet, I want to quit school, and go run off and join a Japanese schoolgirl rock band like Scandal. I'd also settle for being part of a cutesy J-pop group; so long as cute outfits and choreographed dances are involved, I'm in. What's something "wild and crazy and rebellious" that you dream of doing?

Awesome Blog of NON-Procrastination

2010-03-31T23:00:00.004-04:00

PROCRASTINATE, PROCRASTINATE, PROCRASTINATE, No I am not a chronic procrastinator and lazy slattern. I need to get back into regularly blogging, eventually daily if only for myself. I'm always at a loss what to write about because I don't lead a necessarily exciting life. I'm always finding cool things and often think different things that I feel merit blogging. There's so much to talk about sometimes, I don't know where to begin or what to focus on. So today I'll make a short blog with two of the awesome things I've recently gotten into and discovered.

Baccano: Great Anime! I've been meaning to watch this for a long time. I've been watching and loving Durarara! which is by the same creator. Hilarious, kinda crazy story, great art style, tons of memorable characters, and rounded off perfectly with jazz music. Fave characters: Isaac and Miria--quirky pair of stupid thieves whose stupid plans actually succeed in getting them lots of money; they typically rob people while wearing costumes. Totally awesome that I can watch the show for free on Funimation's website.

Reduced Shakespeare Company: 3 guys perform ALL 37 Shakespeare plays in 90 minutes! HILARIOUS! One of Dustin's fellow student teachers showed him a clip of their version of Romeo and Juliet. He in turn showed it to me, and we both about died laughing. I had tears in my eyes. The show's a mixture of wit and slapstick that comes together to create the most awesome adaptation of Shakespeare ever!

Greetings from Nerddom

2010-03-30T23:24:00.006-04:00

Since March 9, I have pretty much devoted nearly every waking moment to Final Fantasy XIII. I beat the game this Sunday eager to finish the story. While the story opened with intense action and excitement and all kinds of epicness, the ending was underwhelming. It just did not have the richness that I've come to expect out of the Final Fantasy games. I also missed having a good love story that was the either the center of the story or was hinted at but never revealed (until the fanfiction rolls around). I felt the love story was flat and devoid of passion; I think my main qualm was the two characters in love (Serah and Snow) had zero in common and little to no interaction. I'm of the fangirl camp of Lightning and Snow shippers. I was so excited for this game because of the main female protagonist. However, Lightning's story was not the central focus of the game and her character was underdeveloped. I really liked her for her strength and overall badassness, but surprisingly she was not my favorite character. I ended up favoring Vanille, who I thought I would hate. She originally seemed a stereotypical bubbly female side character who would be really weak and lame in battle. The main story was hers and Fang's too. Her personality was very strong and fairly complex; she just felt very real to me. I enjoyed the game overall, especially many of the new changes in the battle system. I just felt it lacked a strong story in spite of some rocking characters. Now, I'm just waiting on some decent fanfiction to come out.

It's been three days since I beat the game. I kinda don't know what to do with myself now, silly as it sounds. I need a new game with a good, well-developed story, and it can't be too difficult to play as I'm a casual gamer. I need to finish Final Fantasy IX which I was almost finished with before XIII came out. At least I know I'll get my love story there. I'm wondering about Final Fantasy XIII: Versus, however there's no set release date. Just looking at the trailer, I can't be certain whether there will be a definite love story, though I can see hints.

I'm currently playing a little detective game on the DS called Trace Memory. It's kind of a point and click sort of game. You explore rooms, search for clues, solve a few puzzles, and everything is framed within the context of a mystery story. It reminds me a lot of a similar game called Touch Detective. Touch Detective was quirky and shorter--with four small mysteries instead of one big overarching mystery. Nevertheless, this game is fun and a little challenging at times. Plus, I'm actually using my DS Dustin bought me for Christmas. He's been playing it more than I have. :P

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing, Come Dance the Night Away

2010-03-23T23:44:00.002-04:00

Once more I am hooked on Dancing With the Stars. I'm not a huge reality TV show fan, but something that involves pretty, sparkly costumes and ballroom dancing is a surefire way to get me hooked. I was hardcore for the first couple of seasons. I tapered off, until the season Jane Seymour became a contestant, then after she was eliminated from the competition I stopped watching. Randomly, I decide to watch the newest season on Hulu and was excited to see a whole lot of celebrities I knew. I became sucked in watching the dance routines again. I think for me, it helps that I know a lot of the celebrities and actually care about or like some of them.

My favorite contestants right now are: Shannon Doherty, Evan Lysaceck, Neicey Nash and Nicole Scherzinger. Of the three my favorite performance was Evan's; it had the perfect song, romance, fluidity, grace, and made me sigh. I think the "wild card" contestant this season is Pamela Anderson. She's all sex appeal, and somehow managed to impress the judges with it during her Cha-Cha. The judges reactions this season are cracking me up to no end. Their reactions to Pamela's dancing was priceless; Bruno's definitely digging the sex appeal. The judges gave her much higher scores than I anticipated for being such a messy performance.

The Waltz dresses are simply beautiful and make me very envious. I think Shannon's white dress that faded into black with the like ripped ruffle looking bottom was simply gorgeous. The female Cha-Cha outfits look little more than fringe sewn together in layers. I really wish they would use original recordings of pop songs or find better singers. The covers of songs, especially Ke$ha's TikTok (which isn't a good song to begin with), are really bad. I'm going to have to keep watching this season now, especially since I have some contestants to get behind.

Nicholas Sparks & Miley Cyrus What Have You Done to Me?!

2010-03-11T22:58:00.007-05:00

Hi blogosphere. I missed you and apologize for being terribly negligent. Much like my university email which is now overflowing and needs to sorted out. I've been in a state of pure apathy as of late. Not having a job really sucks. Hopefully, things are looking up, as I found out two places (though retail) are hiring currently! I applied for one and going to apply for the other tomorrow.

I'm so happy it's starting to become warm outside now! We have sun at least every other day and longer daylight hours! I can just wear a small hoodie and be comfortable! I can open my windows and let in fresh air. All this of course makes me eager to don on my cute spring/summer wear most notably skirts and dresses.

I'm by no means a Nicholas Sparks fan (never seen a movie or read a book by him), but for some reason I feel sucked in by the commercials for his latest movie The Last Song. I know it's a highly idealized, predictable, likely tragic, heartbreaking, summer, teenage/young adult romance (that's a lot of adjectives, but you can't have a Nicholas Sparks movie without every single one of those words); I kinda want to see it though. I don't understand. This is a NICHOLAS SPARKS MOVIE--meant to be cliche and force as many tears out of you as possible even if you DON'T have tear ducts.

I think it has something to do with the song "When I Look At You" by Miley Cyrus. I don't like Miley Cyrus either, but I am OBSESSED with this song. I really love the piano arrangement and lyrics--though really all I can remember is the chorus because Cyrus shouts it in her nasally voice over and over. I think there's a kind of earnestness in this song that conjures up the feelings of love and comfort. It's kind of shame that Miley Cyrus sings it because I think the song could be 20X better performed by someone else with better (*cough* actual) vocal talent. Nevertheless, I'm hooked on the song. To give her credit, she doesn't sound bad just not amazing; I mean, I still like the song and can get over her voice. Hey, everyone's got a guilty pleasure right?

Oh and I want her dresses in this video--specifically the dark green dress. I want it so hard it's ridiculous. I have spent and wasted countless hours on the 'net scouring for info on who made the dress and searching for knock-offs or similar style dresses in that color. Usually, I could care less about owning an exact replica of a celebrity dress, but this is one I MUST HAVE. I keep thinking in my head, I WOULD LOOK AWESOME IN THIS DRESS! It's romantic, flowy, and whimsical--it just screams me! Really tempted to place a commission on Etsy for it, but alas lack the funds. Just as soon as I get that job I'll...actually probably put a down payment on my wedding dress.

What do you guys think of Nicholas Sparks? Anyone actually eager enough to go a midnight showing? Do they even have midnight showings of Nicholas Sparks movies? It would seem like a good money maker for the theatres. Are Miley Cyrus's clothes not just gorgeous and don't you think it's grossly unfair she gets to wear them in an awesome music video in front a grand piano because she has low to mediocre talent not to mention looks?

An Otaku Snow Day!

2010-02-15T19:32:00.004-05:00

Dustin and I have been snow dancing our butts off and our efforts have definitely paid off. This is the fifth snowday we've had, but today was the first time we actually played out in the snow. Making a snowman didn't quite pan out the way I thought it would, and we eventually abandoned the idea in favor of other snow creations including a snow unicorn! I was going to originally make a 3-d full bodied unicorn snow sculpture, but there were support and snow packing issues. Instead, I made a 3-d unicorn head mixed media sculpture incorporating pine tree branches and a pinecone in with the snow. Dustin & I made snow angels, and I added an anime otaku touch by adding a Bleach squad captain badge and cat ears to them. We slid down the hill behind our apartment building on our butts since we lacked sleds; Dustin rolled down the hill once. I think tomorrow we may try sledding in one of the parks in "sleds" made out of household things like a laundry basket and big tupperware lid. Posted some pictures.

I have a guest post featured on book blog Tempting Persephone for the Pursuing the Lioness Challenge. You guys should check it out and join the challenge if you love the books.

Valentine's day weekend was full and fun. Friday went on a double date with Dustin's parent's + his grandma to Rafferty's and the movies; we saw The Wolfman. It was the first time I'd been to see a scary movie with a boy before. ;) I enjoyed the movie, and glad it reflected the original old Hollywood B-movie style just fancied up with A-movie treatment. I was genuinely scared and grossed out a number of times--had to close my eyes and squeeze the circulation out of Dustin's arms. Saturday, we went to Shogun (a Japanese restuarant); it was packed, but we snagged a table simply by saying we didn't want to sit at the grill. After dinner we saw Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightening Thief. It was a fun, epic fantasy movie--just what I wanted to see--with some great twists on traditional Greek mythology. Sunday, Dustin took me to dinner at the local restaurant Avalon on Bardstown road. I've been wanting to go there ever since I first moved to Louisville. It's pricey but not exorbiant. The food is fantastic along with the service. I was disappointed a bit by the plain, modern interior. With a name like Avalon, I was expecting sparkles and Apple trees/garden or maybe something remotely Arthurian related. I'm hoping to go again in the summer, so we can sit on the garden patio with lights all around.

My Life Simply Put

2010-02-10T18:22:00.002-05:00

This is almost exactly the conversation I had with Dustin when deciding what to do with the tons of children/early teen books I had stored up over the years. I eventually gave them away to a pair of teachers. If I actually had a house and knew I wouldn't move again, this would've been the case.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

This is scenario happens on a regular basis; this is what happens when you take a burned out grad student + internet.

"I'll Never Let Go"

2010-02-08T01:19:00.003-05:00

Today I went with Dustin, his mom, and grandma to the Louisville Science Museum to see the Titanic Artifact exhibit after lunch at Logan's Roadhouse. The movie Titanic is being shown on TV tonight. I was not allowed to watch the movie when it came in theatres; my mom thought it should've been rated R because of the sex scene which you saw nothing. I finally got to see it when it came out on VHS, but my mom said she had to watch it with me so she could fast forward through the sex scene. I was the most deprived and desolate 6th grade girl. Then one day I caught my sister watching the second tape when our mom wasn't home. I was like, "We aren't allowed to watch this!" She was like, "It's okay. Mom's not home." We watched all the second tape, sex scene included. I cried pathetically at the end; my sister and mom thought I was stupid for doing so. It was funny today after the exhibit, Dustin's grandma asked about the diamond, "The Heart of the Ocean," and asked where was Rose's story. She thought it was real; gotta love her. Dustin's mom was very nice about telling her the truth.

The exhibit was really cool and fascinating. They gave us little cards which were our "ticket" to the Titanic. Each had a passenger name and details about their travel situation and companions. They were all real people and at the end of the tour was a giant list of the survivors and those lost when the ship sank. I was Mrs. Thomas Potter Jr. (Lily Alexenia Wilson -- maiden name), first class, taking a European vacation with my daughter. There were variety of artifacts from the china which meals were served on in first and second class, toiletries, glass wine bottles, light holders, rivets which held the ship together. There were images on the floor plan. There were letters and a German-English dictionary which belonged to an immigrant passenger and money too. There was a man-made freshwater "iceberg" which you could put your hand on and get a feel for what it would've been like in the water; actually the water would've been much colder than "iceberg" on display. One of the most unique items I thought was a bottle of champagne which still held champagne inside. The cork got sucked in to the bottle and expanded so it couldn't be removed. Scientists or archeologists (whichever) actually inserted a needle to extract some of the champagne to taste. It still tasted like champagne with just a touch of salt water. Much of the coal from the Titanic was taken out by archeologists; now, the coal is being sold in little bits and pieces--a tiny fragment is sold for $20. Granted it's supposed to be worth a whole lot more in the future. There's also a cruise ship which is sailing out the day of the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's maiden voyage. The ship is going the same route and the same speed, obviously without the disastrous results. Tickets are being sold for $4,000--equivalent to the amount it would've cost a third class passenger back in the day--$90. The exhibit was really fascinating, and it turned out my passenger survived the voyage.

I had a pretty full weekend with three dates! One for each day! Dustin called me Friday after he got out of school (from teaching) and said, "Shower and dress nice. We're going on a date." I was taken aback, "I was like what?! A date?! One where I have to go out and wear a bra?!" I'm super lazy and almost always get away without wearing a bra (both pro and con). We went to dinner a new or rather redone asian restuarant; La Que (pronounced La "Whey"). The place served Vietnamese, Thai, and Chinese; I thought the selection of Vietnamese dishes was small--mostly noodle dishes. Dustin ate Green Curry Chicken & I ate Ginger Chicken (served in a hotpot) with vegetables. Twas delicious. Then we went to the Comedy Caravan where we saw three comedians, one of them was Torian Hughes who is a writer for Tyler Perry. There was an obnoxiously drunk woman in front of us who kinda sucked the energy and fun out of the jokes; she thought everything was a joke for her and would not shut up. Finally, the second comedian, Cleveland, bluntly told her to "Shut the fuck up." She did for a while, but towards the end of the show she was shouting out and laughing 20 times louder. In spite of her, we enjoyed the rest of the whole show -- all three comedians were absolutely hilarious!

Saturday Dustin wanted to go to lunch at O'Charley's, and I wanted to go see Much Ado About Nothing played by the Savage Rose Classical Theatre Company. So we combined them and made another date. The Savage Rose performs shows close to the way they would've been performed in the Renaissance; they use period costumes and have a limited set. I saw my friend Sutton and her boyfriend Stephen there and my friend Liz and one of her sisters Peggy. Her other sister, whose name I now forgot, was playing the role of Margaret. I saw several people I knew from the U of L theatre department performing in the show. It was really great, and I laughed so hard.

The "C" Word

2010-02-01T23:31:00.001-05:00

Candidacy. The big fat "C" word I both dreaded yet embraced. Yep, wasn't able to get my proposal approved by the deadline, therefore I have to go into candidacy for the summer. At first I was freaking out and getting really upset. Then I calmed down, and remembered I was anticipating this. I met with my project director late, and my proposal was more like a a draft than a solid academic proposal. I didn't get the email with the criticism and pointers until today, despite the fact the time stamp says Saturday. I'm very irritated about that. I was a little mad at Dustin who I force to check and write (while I dictate) my email when I'm anxious about something. He checked it both Saturday and Sunday, saying there was no email from my prof. I really couldn't fault him though; it's more the email system. I couldn't have sufficiently revised it by the deadline anyway.

Anyway, it gives me more time to get my thoughts together. My director says my topic is still too broad and needs focusing. My thesis is still not clear. I'm driving myself crazy trying to think of an original thesis that factors in all that's been done before without ripping anyone's idea off. Supposedly, as a Masters student I'm not expected to come up with any brilliant, earth-shattering new ideas, just expected to be able to show I can enter in an academic conversation. Really, 85% the time I feel like my knowledge of proper academic/scholarly procedures is lacking. I'm just kinda force to write something I've never done before with only the most general of outlines and my writing is supposed to be genius. I have written a proposal for a research paper maybe four times now, and only two were actually formal. I remember the days when writing 10 pages was hard; now I think what wouldn't I give for 10-13 pages instead of 25-30. This is just a long, slightly painful, learning process.

I'm just thinking of all things, I had to fall in love with and pick Medievalism. Why couldn't I do 19th c. frontier fiction or women writers (which I also love)? I have several awesome papers for it, and it's so much easier. Argagagaga...as a friend and fellow grad student once said about the grad school and paper writing experience, "It's like some weird fetish; it's painful but you keep doing it over and over because after you finish you feel really good." It's the tried and true love-hate cliche. Lately, my relationship with academia has been more on the hate side. I'm wishing I chose Chretien Knight of the Cart instead of The Examinations of Anne Askew for class. I needed and wanted to do something different than Arthur; since my interest besides Arthur is early modern women writers, I figured Anne was the way to go. I chose a tough topic. Nevertheless, I'm going to work hard and make this an awesome paper.

Candidacy isn't so bad. I have a good friend who's in it right now, granted he doesn't have to pay for it since he has a teaching assistantship. Another friend of mine was telling me she wished she was in candidacy for the summer because she could give two shits about her CP. It's not like I'm going to be in candidacy for 5 years. I made it through my Bachelors in 4 years, taking 15-18 hours, and changing my major. I'm done with all the coursework for my Masters, just need more time getting my culminating project together. I might consider taking another course, since I didn't do so hot last semester. It depends on the cost of candidacy + class tuition and if there are any Med-Ren courses available in the first term. I'm feeling a little self conscious and defensive right now.

Snow Day + Wedding Dress + Red Lobster = Perfect Day

2010-01-31T03:02:00.002-05:00

Louisville got snow, though not as much as we were hoping and that the weather people originally predicted. The patterns changed and the southern and western parts of KY got more snow. Makes me a little disgruntled. Though I haven't been one for playing out in the snow much lately. I just think it's pretty and you know always provides a chance to miss school. Yes, I still think snow days are the most awesome thing ever when school is canceled.

Showed my future mother-in-law, Dena, and future sister-in-law, Amanda, my top three dresses today. I've got it pretty much narrowed down to two dresses. I'm 99% sure of which of the two I'll end up choosing. Pictures and other wedding talk on wedding blog.

Reading a new vampire novel by Robin McKinley called Sunshine. I'm not feeling a strong fondness of the book as of yet. I went and looked at some reviews after finishing part one. There's primarily a love it or hate it kind of feel. However, the few on the fence gave the best input--or at least comments I agree with so far; it's an interesting thing to read and see McKinley experiment with a genre she's not written before. I think it's a little tedious, but I think it's purposeful for slowly building suspense and letting the story unfold and tell itself bit by bit. I'm missing my Sookie Stackhouse with the zinger wit and sexy vamps and romance; I really enjoy them for light reading. Not enough funds to purchase a new one and they're too popular to be traded on PaperBackSwap.

Went to Red Lobster on a "double date" with Dustin's mom and stepdad. I ate so much and drank half of a Bahama Mama (which is a lot for a small, asian girl). I ordered the pick two: grilled salmon and coconut shrimp. It came with two sides, I chose a salad and rice. Then there were biscuits to eat, and on top of that Dustin ordered crab legs which I couldn't let go by without eating a couple. I stuffed myself silly. Thank goodness we didn't get dessert. I felt sick when I got home--a mixture of overeating and alcohol. Dustin's said, "I'm going to go play a game." I promptly replied, "How about we play the game where you get me two pepto and glass of water--warm?" I was joking, but he being the most wonderful boy in the world, did exactly as I asked. Today was one of those perfect days.

Back in Black

2010-01-28T12:49:00.001-05:00

Holly Black, writer of the YA urban fantasy novels Tithe, Valiant, and Ironside and also co-writer of the Spiderwick Chronicles has a new collection of short stories out called The Poison Eaters and Other Stories. Black has long been one of my favorite writers. She has darkly rich style that can move you, frighten you, and make you laugh. She excellently creates and shapes a world that is both beautiful and broken. She takes the standard romanticized view of the faerie world and now the vampire world, and turns it on its head. She shatters the long held image that these creatures are inherently good (or evil) and beautiful and everyone should desire to be like them. I cannot wait to read the rest of the stories. Currently available ONLINE for FREE is her short story The Coldest Girl in Coldtown. READ IT.

Blood Suckers on the Brain

2010-01-28T00:28:00.000-05:00

I've always been fascinated with the supernatural. I've grown up on a steady diet of fairy tales and fantasy novels. I think I really got into Vampires in the 7th grade with my introduction to L.J. Smith's Nightworld series (which she is finally finishing this March after like almost 10 years!). My sister recently told me, my mother used to think I was going to run off and join a Satanic cult because I was into reading about witchcraft and vampires. She told me she and my mom were both very glad I didn't turn out like that. The thought never crossed my mind; sure maybe dabbling in Wiccan came up (because it was really cool at the time), but never Satanism much less a cult. I think I'm a little too rational for that which sounds ironic coming from a girl with an overactive imagination.

Vampires are once more back in the spotlight although I say they've got some heavy competition with zombies. Zombies really can't be romantic though; you wouldn't want to start a romance, much less sleep with one. You could have a romance that revolves around killing zombies ala Pride Prejudice and Zombies. Anyway, back to vampires. I'm really digging this "modern" or "20th" century vampire that's part of mainstream society--open or hidden. Shamefully, I have not read a single Anne Rice vampire novel even though I attribute her with the creation of the modern vampire. I've watched the movie Interview with the Vampire multiple times though. My only, real resolution is to read at least Interview with the Vampire. :)

My current passions in the vampire world are the early Anita Blake novels and the Sookie Stackhouse novels. I like the mystery crossed with some romance; lately both series have completely forgone mystery in favor of romance or pure smut. Someone oughta cross Nancy Drew with vampires--I personally think it'd be a winning combination. For some reason, right now cross pretty much anything with vampires and you've got my interest. Since I'm currently reading and writing about martyrdom and sainthood, I'm wondering if you could still be considered martyr if you became a vampire--you did die....you just came back...but not in an exactly "holy" manner. However, in the Anita Blake series there is the Church of Eternal Life; so could you have vampire saints? Would they have to be dead as a vampire or just dead as human? What would a vampire saint be like? I also keep wondering how crossing vampires with medieval literature would pan out. Dustin and I were joking around about putting a vampire in the Canterbury Tales and which of the pilgrims it would be or if it was Chaucer who was the vampire. These are the kind of things that go through my brain; that's what you get when you mix whimsy with grad school and a cheesy fiance who just encourages any and all silliness. :)

I Faced the Demon Dragon Lord and Survived!

2010-01-26T22:24:00.000-05:00

My life often takes an epic turn. I think this could be the direct result of living on nothing but fantasy novels and films for all my life. I tend to compare the events and people in my life to novels, games and movies. Today, I feared I might be going on my last journey in my quest to gain my Masters Degree. I had to strap on my (metaphorical) armour and prepare myself to meet the Demon Dragon Lord a.k.a. my Culminating Project Director.

I've been in living the past month and a half in terror and playing the avoidance game with my Culminating Project Director; my final paper in his class was very bad which resulted me getting a "C" in the class. I sent him an apologetic email owning up to my faults and promising extreme revision and better results for my CP. I didn't check my email for the longest time and whenever I there was a time I literally had to, I made Dustin check it for me. Finally, my professor responded and Dustin read the email to me. It said exactly what I expected and already knew about the paper. My professor did state he was still willing to work with me and help me rewrite my paper. I was lured out to a gallery talk he was giving because it focused on medieval manuscript making and the museum it was held at, had just received a beautiful French Book of Hours. I still kinda avoided him, not that I could talk to him because he was swarmed with people with legitimate questions after the talk. It took me a week and a half to send an email making an appointment.

So today, I finally had to quell my fear and face the beast. I kept thinking of him as the final Demon Dragon Lord in an RPG that I had to beat to win the game. Dustin thinks I overeexagerated too much; he compared him to Chopin in the RPG Eternal Sonata.
*SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE GAME*
(Here I'm using one! I am constantly reminded of my failure to use a spoiler tag for HP 6.)

Chopin is on your team and helps you throughout the game. However in the end, you have to fight and defeat him in order to secure the existence of your world. Once you defeat him and convince him of the reality (he thinks the world is a dream) and importance of your world, he puts all his power and being into keeping the world. Plus, he wasn't difficult to beat; there were much harder bosses in the earlier stages of the game.

Back on track, I went to my professor's office, and he was very jovial. No blast of flame or look of pure hatred. I told him my purpose for being there, and we had a good, informative conversation about the proposal and project expectations. I told him as I was leaving, I'm glad he didn't breathe fire at and eat me. He replied, "The Jewish tradition is very much like the Vietnamese tradition, we operate on guilt; what you do to yourself is ten times worse than anything we can do to you." True words indeed. Guilt and fear have been eating me up all through Christmas break and the beginning of the semester.

Dustin told me, "See he cares about you. You make him out to be some kind of monster, but he's not." My hopes were not in vain; my professor is a good teacher; he knows I'm capable of quality work, knows that I didn't live up to my potential, and is willing to help me learn and become a better scholar. I feel a whole lot better and am chiding myself for my paranoia and anxiety. Sometimes, I allow rumors and reputation to precede my own personal knowledge. Nevertheless, this doesn't give me an excuse to slack off. I have to get my butt in gear.

Storybook Endings, Fairytales Comin' True

2010-01-25T00:17:00.000-05:00

So I went dress shopping again this Saturday with my good friend Cassie. I am so happy I held out and didn't buy the red dress last week! I went to two shops in Louisville: Terry's Bridal (where my friend Rachel got her dress) and Regiss Bridal and Prom (which is right down the street from me). I have to see, despite having ghetto looking exteriors, these shops are beautiful on the inside! My friend Cassie posed the theory that so much money goes into the content of the stores, they probably don't have the money to make the exterior look nice.

Regiss was my favorite store and where I found two dresses I love. The best part is that the seamstress there is an expert and really goes the extra mile to do what's best for the dress and bride; that means in the case of hemming a dress with an elaborate design at the bottom for a petite bride, the design does not have to be compromised. Plus she can add extra things like a colored trim or a different colored sash. I had so much fun in the shop. The lady who was my consultant was so nice to me and Cassie. She helped me with everything and gave me a ton of info. There was no pressure to buy at all.

My favorite dress (and what I'm becoming more and more certain is "THE DRESS) ended up being something completely different than what I'd been looking at. It was a fitted, chiffon dress that looked like it came out of a Jane Austen novel. It's very reminiscent of the Regency Era. When I wore it, I felt like I was a princess stepping out of a story book. It's all white and made of chiffon. It's strapless, fitted with an empire waistline. There's a silver sash under the bust that becomes a droopy, romantic bow in the back. Then there's silver beading at the top of the dress above the sash. The dress splits into two panels in the front. So there's the outer layer of the dress and an inner layer. I wish I could find a photo online, but I can't. The bridal shop didn't allow pictures. I tried this dress on three times! When I added a little floral tiara to it, I had a moment of "OH WOW!" The dress is $940--so it's under a $1000! It also doesn't look so blatantly weddingish that it's possible to wear it again. The dress choice influences wedding colors, so now things have changed again for bridesmaids dresses.

My wedding is set for June 2012, so it's more like a year and a half away. I think it's important to plan everything as soon as possible because it's going to be during peak wedding season. I want to get married in the NC State Rose Garden on a Saturday afternoon. It's a popular spot and season, so you have to book at least a year in advance. To order a wedding dress, get it altered, then pressed and steamed, I was told takes about 8-10 months. Then I've got to book a venue for the reception, back up ceremony site (in case of rain), caterer, DJ and all that other important wedding stuff. So I don't think I'm jumping on things too soon; I want as much planned out as possible, so that when it comes time to book and pay the money, there's no decision making, just do it. Also, planning on a budget really requires advance planning, I think.

I'm going to start a wedding blog, so that all my wedding stuff can go there and all my relatives and friends can go there to see it all without having to dig through all my daily life blog posts. And also for those you know actually interested in my daily life (haha) don't have to bombarded daily with wedding stuff. So here's the URL: http://anerdtasticwedding.blogspot.com/

I'm gonna double post this entry on there. But I will also be adding photos and youtube links with my wedding ideas. Anyhoo, here's couple pics to help you kind of imagine the dress; think a cross between these two pictures, substitute silver beading, make the dress all white and strapless, and add a silver sash under the bust.

The Internet is a Cesspool

2010-01-22T04:57:00.005-05:00

A cesspool in which spawns some of the worst people or writing. I was going over my blog roll and reading through Neil Gaiman's blog when I read something a little confusing and concerning. Basically Neil Gaiman was attempting to apologize for offending some people for using the word "bitch" in the context, "I'm nobody's bitch." He also mentioned his frustration with the subject and decided to leave it be. I didn't exactly know what was going on, but thought I'd investigate and see what merited all the fuss. Little did I know I would stumble across the some of the most hateful and blatantly wrong comments. I just got so angry and spent all this time and effort writing a response that couldn't be posted to the site where all the fuss supposedly began. Neil Gaiman is a writer I extremely respect and enjoy reading. I became furious when I saw him being pegged as an insensitive, sexist pig and then to further see his work being diminished and called sexist and his fiance's character being dragged into the argument! I wrote a response, but didn't post it to the site because 1) comments on the topic are closed 2) no one would listen; they're far too stuck in their own opinions. I'm posting the comment followed by my response. My comment is not the most eloquent or polite, but I'm not trying to sway anyone. It's quite obvious to anyone with common sense, Gaiman's words have been grossly misinterpreted.

Today in Rape Culture
[Trigger warning.]

Smack in the middle of a new profile of Neil Gaiman in The New Yorker:

He was one of the first writers to have a blog—he started it in 2001, and had, at last count, some 1.4 million readers—and he often posts to his Twitter feed a dozen or more times a day. He attributes his recent No. 1 débuts to his ability to communicate directly with his fans: he tells them to buy a book on a certain day, and they do. "It means I'm nobody's bitch," he told me.

The hat tip goes to Latoya, who notes in her piece that Gaiman's success is largely attributable to "his wide appeal to female readers," which makes his use of misogynist slurs all the more tragic.

But let us be honest: The use of "bitch" here is not merely a misogynist slur. To be someone's "bitch" is to be sexually subservient to hir, and the phrase is typically associated with nonconsensual sexual subservience, i.e. rape. (Specifically, it originates with prison rape.)

I understand, quite keenly, the value of being a writer who is able to communicate directly with hir readership. That is a priceless freedom.

But...

Mr. Gaiman, I have been a writer beholden to other people with agendas, constrained in my work by forces I could not control. I have also been someone's "bitch." And they are not the same thing.

Not at all.

My Response:

Dear People on the Internet:
CHILL THE F' OUT & stop being a bunch of haters! Neil Gaiman when he said, "I'm nobody's bitch" did NOT use the term in a derogatory, misogynistic sense in which he implied sexual subservience or rape! The term has become colloquial and been reappropriated. That is no excuse to bash him or his writing. How does using the term in that way undo all the good work he did and strong female characters he wrote? And how does that minimalize the experience of rape?! You're all being f'ing ridiculous! He really shouldn't have to defend himself against your stupidty. Are you currently jumping down every person who says the word "bitch" 's throat? Please go out, track down and start personally attacking everyone who uses the word; don't just single one person out because he's famous. Neil Gaiman is not a dumbass; he doesn't need to be educated as to what the word "bitch really means." He is a brilliant writer and surely has more important things to concern himself with then someone's twisted misinterpretation of his words.

The Quest for the Dress

2010-01-18T01:30:00.002-05:00

Two of my friends are now engaged--both with a few weeks of each other. Both are getting married in 2010, one in August the other November. I went out today with my friend Rachel and the rest of the bridal party (who I all know and love). I missed going dress shopping with her Saturday. Going to Steak n' Shake for ice cream kinda made up for it. We had fun talking about wedding stuff and drama. Then she measured us for our dresses--she's making them herself. They're strapless, knee length, dark purple cocktail dresses. It's only going to cost us $20. I'm really excited because it's purple and I can wear it again. Even though I'm getting married too, my wedding's two years down the road, so this is a fun and learning experience for me.

Saturday I went to try on dresses for a second time. I went with my future mother-in-law to Bridal Warehouse in Louisville. I unexpectedly found the possible "IT" dress. I've posted a few pics Dena took with her camera phone; we thought cameras wouldn't be allowed, but there were plenty of people taking photos. (Note: I'm posting photos of two dresses I liked most, but the one I'm considering is the red) This dress has the drama, glamor, elegance and COLOR I want in a dress. I actually decided I liked red better than dark purple. The fact is such a shock because for so long I was gunning for purple, and no one could dissuade me. I was so excited this dress had the option of dark purple accents, but when I held the purple sash up to the dress to imagine the dress in purple, I realized the red popped more and looked better. Also, what's funny about the experience is that the dress was the next to last dress I tried on. I didn't really like it on the hanger because of the "v" underneath the bust, but I tried it on and it was beautiful!

The experience at the bridal store though was less than desirable. I had little fun and felt the service was definitely lacking. Too many of the dresses were poofy princess dresses and stark white to boot. There were almost no dresses in my size or even anything remotely close to my size (I'm size 0 and petite; it's rough) My bridal consultant left me alone for way too long. I know a few times she was going to look to see if a dress came in my size or in a different color for me. Still, she left me to pick out dresses myself, not even bothering to ask what I liked. She originally left me alone to try on dresses without any help. Imagine trying to get into a dress 8 sizes too big and like 6 feet (exaggeration) too long when you're my size. I had to ask her to come help me. She also looked at me funny when I talked to her about trying on bridesmaids dresses; bridesmaids dresses have become really elaborate and come in a ton of different colors. I felt like I was being pushed to find a dress from the seller whose new dresses were being debuted in the trunk show that day. When I did find what I thought to be my dream dress, I was told there was a strong chance it could be discontinued because it was designed in 2006. The dress was $749.99--not bad for all the beautiful dress, but I didn't think it was right to drop the money yet (even though I had more than enough saved away). I don't have a job yet; it's only my second trip to the bridal shop; and I felt way too much pressure to buy.

I feel that if it's the right dress, I shouldn't feel pressured to buy it because it might not be there in the future. My wedding is 2 years away! If it's "the dress" I should have no hesitations about dropping the money. Also, with this dress there is a length/alteration problem. They can't order the dress in a custom length. When the hem the dress, they will have to cut off the beautiful beaded applique at the bottom, but they can keep the red trim. I feel shouldn't get a dress I have to compromise a design element on because of my size.

I've decided to hold out for a better dress (one I'm 100% sure of) and more importantly shop at a store where the service is better and more personal. If I still think about this dress constantly withing the next several months, I'll know it's the one. I have the designer and style number and can order off the designer website. Although my first wedding dress shopping experience was wonderful, I still couldn't find the dress of my dreams. The second experience was less exciting though I found a possible dress. My friend Cassie told me today she would go with me this weekend to some local bridal shops, one of them being the place Rachel found her dress. Also, these places carry 2s and 0s which is a plus.

One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, Soup!

2010-01-12T01:15:00.000-05:00

That's right! We (by we I mean Dustin) made soup today! I cooked two meals today! That's an accomplishment, granted I currently am not working and have class one day a week. For lunch I made some Chinese instant noodles that were spicy and shrimp flavored; I've been a little burned on these (plain), since I've been burned out on Ramen. I went grocery shopping today and saw frozen precooked shrimp on sale at Meijer for $2.99 for 12 oz, which is the least expensive I've seen shrimp in the store. I bought a bag and some broccoli too. I threw 4 pieces of shrimp and some chopped up broccoli in the pot together with the noodles and made an awesome lunch. There's multiple ways to make noodles taste better, just sometimes if you want ingredients like shrimp it can be expensive. Adding egg and lettuce adds to it too, but you gotta cook it right. I'm really picky about my noodles; they've gotta have the right texture, the right ratio of soup to noodles, the soup can't be too watery tasting, etc.

When he got home from school, Dustin suggested making soup for dinner. He poked around on AllRecipes.com and listed off a few that sounded good. The recipe I chose was ham and potato. It was really low maintenance (aside from dicing vegetables) and delicious! I had to go to the grocery for a second time, granted Dustin was driving and we went to Kroger which is closer than Meijer. I've come to realize, I nine times out of ten lack the desire to be domestic. I'm more than happy to let Dustin do the cooking. I'll pick up on the cleaning; I'm picky being the child of a mother obsessed with cleanliness and neatness. Posting the fabulous potato soup recipe here, which by the way, it looks exactly like the picture and again, tastes as good! The recipe says it serves 8, but I think it's more like 3-4.

Delicious Ham and Potato Soup

Prep Time: 20 Minutes

Cook Time: 25 Minutes

Ready In: 45 Minutes

Servings: 8

"This is a delicious recipe for ham and potato soup that a friend gave to me. It is very easy and the great thing about it is that you can add additional ingredients, more ham, potatoes, etc and it still turns out great."

Ingredients:

3 1/2 cups peeled and diced potatoes

1/3 cup diced celery

1/3 cup finely chopped onion

3/4 cup diced cooked ham

3 1/4 cups water

2 tablespoons chicken bouillon granules

1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1 teaspoon ground white or black pepper, or

to taste

5 tablespoons butter

5 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 cups milk

Directions:

1.	Combine the potatoes, celery, onion, ham and water in a stockpot. Bring to a boil, then cook over medium heat until potatoes are tender, about 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in the chicken bouillon, salt and pepper.
2.	In a separate saucepan, melt butter over medium-low heat. Whisk in flour with a fork, and cook, stirring constantly until thick, about 1 minute. Slowly stir in milk as not to allow lumps to form until all of the milk has been added. Continue stirring over medium-low heat until thick, 4 to 5 minutes.
3.	Stir the milk mixture into the stockpot, and cook soup until heated through. Serve

Pursuing the Lioness

2010-01-07T23:19:00.006-05:00

I found out about this challenge of sorts through one of my favorite book review blogs Angieville. It's being hosted by another book blogger, Chelle, of Tempting Persephone. I constantly gush about Tamora Pierce and how her books (in particular her Lioness Rampant) series has made a huge impact on me. Chelle is challenging those who haven't read the books to read them (it's a quartet) and post their impressions and reactions. She's also asking veteran readers and major fans to write a guest post about their experience with the series. I'm so stoked about this event and will definitely be participating! I just want to spread the word and the love about this awesome event which is going on for 6 MONTHS, January 1- June 30!!! This is a blog challenge I can really get behind and become truly passionate about. I can't wait to read all the responses to the series from both new and old readers. So pick up a copy of Alanna: The First Adventure if you haven't, start reading it! I guarantee you'll love it and be plowing through the rest of the series in no time!

On a Louisville Safari: Hunting for Job

2010-01-07T00:10:00.002-05:00

Getting a little disgruntled because I have a bachelor's and almost a Masters and no "real" job. By "real" I mean something professional in and office, university, library, or museum--those are my preferences (though by no means in any particular order).

I figured this semster would allow me to finally get a chance at having a "real" job. Always I placed school first. I never worked while in college til my senior year, and it was rough because I was working like 30 hours a week in addition to class. I have to work in grad school now because my parents agreed to fund undergrad, and once I hit grad I was on my own. Fair enough. I didn't get a teaching assistantship my first or second (current) year, so I had to look for an outside job and take out a loan. I always had some class in the middle of the day at least once a week. So I couldn't get a regular 9-5 job in an office or something like that.

This semester I have only one class that's on Thursdays 4-6:45. I thought surely I'd be able to find a job, and that having to take off early one day a week wouldn't be a problem. Went to the temp agency today and told that with my schedule there was nothing available. ARJGHJKFHJFDH!!!! The lady told me I should consider substitute teaching--which I have thought of, but am a little scared to do.

So now my current employment options are retail, restaurant, or substitute teaching. Those are the only jobs that allow enough "flexibility" to accommodate my one day a week a class. Sheesh.

Subbing wouldn't be so bad, except I'm nervous I can't manage a classroom or that I'll end up having to teach a subject I'm terrible at. I know 9 times out 10, it's just take attendance and pop in a DVD, but still. Kids can be vicious and will exploit any weakness. I'm short, really short and look like I'm still in middle school or a freshman in high school. I have a friend who is short in stature too though, and she handled subbing really well even when a major fight broke out in the class. She became a preferred sub and actually got a job for one of the teachers who went on maternity leave early. However, in being a sub, you have to spend money to take a TB test, get a physical, and get a criminal background check. That can cost quite a lot, especially since I don't have insurance (though I will be looking into it soon). I'm not sure I want to spend the money, when I may not fare well in the job and am not looking into going into education.

Restaurant work isn't too bad because there generally aren't blackout dates, and there's lots of flexibility. Plus free or discounted food. If I'm a waitress, I could make tips; though I'd have to work at a place where I didn't have to carry a ton of heavy stuff at once. Hostessing could work out maybe. If I have to work retail, I'd like it to be at least in a bookstore, which I've never worked in, but always wanted to. Of course that's like putting a kid in a candy store. I'd imagine I'd spend quite a portion of my check on books, though apparently you can check out new releases free for a week so long as you don't bend the spine. I've read a hell of a lot of books and can recommend plenty for a variety of age groups and genres.

I applied at the university library, but man I'd be taking a pay cut from my last job. Granted I would still be making around $7.25 if I didn't apply for lead sales of the ladies' shoe department which boosted me up to $8.25. I didn't apply to work the check out desk, but in a specific department like reference and technical and rare books. If I worked at a regular public library, I'm sure I'd be paid less and have less hours, since the libraries in Louisville have had to cut back operating hours because of lack of funds.

I'm really hoping to find something as a freelance or regular writer for an anime or gaming website. Or even a localizing job for anime/manga/gaming--localizing for those of you who don't know is kind of like editing. You take the words that have been literally translated from one language to English, and put them in modern English idiom a.k.a. comprehensible form. I know you don't make bank on that, but it'd be nice to be able to put my writing skills and English degree to some use.

Just gotta keep looking and for now apply for retail job so I can pay rent. Maybe something will pop up.

2010: Post 1 of Many

2010-01-05T22:09:00.001-05:00

First post of the new year! I'm steadily picking my life back up from the pieces it broke into after last semester. I'm done with the crying and overwhelming anxiety (well almost). Everyone is entitled to a bad semester; I screwed up, I took on too much, I admit it. It's done; I can't change it and am going to move forward.

I have to say with pride and honesty, I have the most wonderful fiance. It just really hit me at the end of the semester when he told me, "I don't care about anything but the smile on your face." I'm so proud of him now that he's almost officially a real teacher. He's just started student teaching. He genuinely cares about teaching, but he's also realistic and knows it's not going to be like Freedom Writers. He said the reason he wanted to be a teacher is a person who made a strong impact on his life was a teacher, and he wants to be able to do the same. If he can get through to one student, that's an accomplishment. :)

Break was pretty uneventful, except for trying on wedding dresses. I tried on a beautiful ivory, lace gown that almost made me willing to forgo a purple or purple and white dress. I spent most of break planning, mostly obsessing over wedding dress styles and finding a dress that doesn't compromise any of the elements I want. Although color is becoming trendier, especially red and black and white dresses, when you walk into a wedding salon, you're still drowning in a sea of white and ivory. The dresses that do have color, have it mostly as an accent. I didn't realize how overwhelming trying on dresses can get until I did it over break, and I lost sight of what I wanted. I'm seriously considering the custom route, possibly outsourcing the dress because I'm not certain I can afford custom any other way. I'll make a more detailed wedding blog post with all my ideas sometime later. ;)

My other obsession of late, besides wedding dresses, is the Sookie Stackhouse novels. It's the new crack for me. I gave it shot, and I really love it! It's the perfect blend of romance, smut, mystery, and of course the supernatural (namely vampires). I've been plowing through them mighty quick, and many of the witty insults and the Southern phrases have me laughing out loud. I'm on book 4; so far I think book 1 is best (with the mystery). I'm definitely an Eric fangirl. I've been putting off reading any more Anita Blake after Lunatic Cafe because I know I'm close to the point where the books become pure erotica and no longer urban fantasy or supernatural mystery. I'm not ready to break up with Anita Blake just yet. Funny thing, as many vampire novels as I've read, I've never read Interview with the Vampire or any other Anne Rice novel. Must do so--my only official resolution.

Thankfully, I'm doing a culminating project for grad school. My prospectus is due the Jan. 11, but thankfully it is a short but detailed explanation of the revisions I'm going to make to a paper that I've already written. I know I have to extensively revise the paper--I'm pretty much rewriting it through the whole semester so it's no longer a piece of shit. I'm fairly certain I disappointed my professor I wrote the paper for who's also my project director. I went to the library yesterday and met a fellow grad student who did the culminating project instead of a thesis. He said it was much easier and the conversation/defense of it was much more pleasant.

Last semester of grad school! One class and writing my culminating project! I'm taking an Art History course--specifically on medieval Byzantine and Arabian architecture. Something new and completely different from literature and history of England, France, Italy. No more fucking theory!!! Thank God!!! Now, the big task is to find a job--preferably one that utilizes some of my skills with writing and computers. It's rough trying to find something with an English degree that I actually would be interested in doing. I don't want to just be answering phones and writing notes and emails. Going to the temp agency tomorrow; I figure it's easier than hunting through the internet or paper. Once I find a job, I'm planning to get an internship at the Frazier either for the semester or summer; while it's unpaid (except for parking reimbursement), it ought to be an awesome and insightful experience.

Going to finish strong! I'm going to take better care of myself, which in turn will help Dustin. I'd say I'm settling back into real life okay.

Travel Can Be a Little Creepy

2009-12-20T19:39:00.001-05:00

So I'm home in SC for the second day. I got here on Friday around midnight. My flight got delayed before I even left Louisville, and I barely made it in time for my transfer flight from Charlotte to Augusta. My luggage didn't make the connection, and I had to wait an hour to figure it out and report my luggage missing. But that's all minor inconveniences. Usually on trips there are always annoyances like small, screaming children who don't shut up or kick the back of your seat or extremely fat people who take up more than one seat--spilling into yours.

The trip from Charlotte to Augusta, I was seated next to a creepy, drunk old man. At first I thought he was just really friendly, he gladly got up from his seat to let me into mine. He shook my hand and introduced himself. Then he asked where I was headed to. I told him Aiken, and he said he was too--specifically a town named something like Graville which was a mill town. Again, I thought he was just overly friendly and chatty, until I smelled his breath which stank of beer and alcohol. Then he kept repeating things, asking the same question about where I was from and proceeding to tell me where he was from. He also offered to buy me a drink right off the bat. He said, "Do you drink? Of course you drink! I'll buy you a drink!"

He proceeded to invite me to come over and visit his place sometime, which is apparently huge. He couldn't figure out how to lean the seat back, and asked me how to do so. I told him there should be a button on the side, but turns out there wasn't one. I told him he should pull down the middle arm rest because the button might be there. Really, I wanted it down to separate our seats because he was a little too close for comfort and his coat was stuffed halfway in my seat. He was perpetually trying to push and lean the seat back, asking everyone around how to do so, ignoring the fact he wasn't allowed to lean it back during take off, and finally gave up.

I tried the defensive reading tactic, but he leaned over and asked what I was reading. I told him just a novel. Finally he passed out. He was more of a nuisance up until we began our descent--that's when he got creepy. The fasten seat belt sign comes on, and the stewardess's voice comes on the intercom telling everyone to buckle up. He looks around for his seat belt, looks over at me, asks "Is your seat belt fastened?" and proceeds to reach over and try to grab and adjust it in my lap!!! I smacked his hand away, telling him I was fine. He looked around again for his seat belt, he found one half but not the other. He asked me, "Where's mine?" I was like, "I don't know [fuck off you creepy old man]" The brackets part is what I said internally. I was ready to punch the old man in the face if he tried anything again. Thankfully, he just fell back asleep for the next twenty to fifteen minutes it took us to land. I got off the plane and away from the old man as fast as I could.

Diary of Mad Grad Student: Epic Long Post of Sorrow

2009-12-17T04:04:00.002-05:00

I've just been through the worst semester of my life. It's technically the last semester of course work I have as a grad student. I still have one class left to take for my Med-Ren certificate, but all the English Masters coursework is done. My final were papers were less then stellar, my professors not happy with my performance, and my grades were reflective. A, B-, C, C. I'm really disappointed in myself and been pretty upset. I realized something through this experience, I largely measure myself--no define my self worth through the perceptions of others--namely my mother and my professors. I'm one of the biggest hypocrites when it comes to talking about self-confidence; I have so many anxieties that just multiplied and exploded this semester. Rationally in my mind, I'm have it all explained everything to my self to where I understand I'm not perfect and shouldn't care about the opinions of others. However, I've just always lived trying to satisfy the high expectations of others and in turn, setting unreasonably high expectations for myself. I don't like, much less believe in, making excuses. I've learned to accept the consequences of my actions--whether negative or positive. Nevertheless, I do feel there is a difference between excuses and explanations. All I seek to do is explain things how they happened. It doesn't make me any less of a person. The week before school started my mom's husband committed suicide. So that threw things way out of whack for at least the first month and a half. I was taking four classes and working a crappy retail job at the same time. Having pulled out of last semester 4 Bs while working and in school, I thought I would be okay. It wasn't; I was expecting three not so demanding courses and one really intense course; pretty much all of my courses ended up being so demanding to the point where I had to sacrifice quality work in one class for the other. By the time I realized I was struggling, it was way past the drop date; also, I had invested too much time and work in all the classes. I've been burned out since the last spring semester, and the effect only got worse. I became really depressed. Depression manifested itself in apathy, oversleeping, extreme anxiety, unfocusedness and more than one breakdown. I felt isolated from my friends and family. I wanted nothing more than to go home to SC or NC or even Paducah--where many of my old friends are at.

Of course, everything snowballed during finals week, and I just couldn't handle the pressure. I turned in sloppy work I wasn't proud of, nor did I care at the time. I just wanted to be done and have my sanity and life back. I think I really would have been okay, had not one of my professors (whose class I got a C in) simply ripped my final paper apart more than anything else she had all semester. She was really pissed at the fact my paper was not only underdeveloped, but that I didn't meet even the minimum page limit. Then she wrote an extra note in which she repeated the same words she pulled me into her office for the day I turned in my paper. She said she didn't understand why I chose not to turn in all the weekly responses. I said nothing originally because I didn't want to make it seem I was making excuses. I'm really bothered by the statement because I didn't "choose" not to turn in the responses (except one); the very first one I forgot to write a response--I read the text, but forgot the written response portion of the assignment (it happens!). The second one was because I had gotten confused when she said, "We'll meet again in two weeks" before leaving to go to a conference. I took that to mean class would not meet for two weeks, not see you from this week (when we have class) and then next week. On top of that, I was sick for that week. She let me turn in some of the work for partial credit since I had a doctor's note. The last response I didn't turn in was the only one I actually choose not to; I was getting frustrated with the writing, I didn't have much of anything written by the time I had to leave for class, so I did not turn it in. The was no reason to tell my professor any of this because she almost never accepts late work and nor would she care about any explanation. So I'm really baffled at why she would make such a statement saying she didn't understand why I chose not to turn in work. Why is there a need to understand? Would it have mattered? No. Furthermore, only one was a conscious decision. However, I accepted the consequences of my actions and mistakes; I made no excuses. So why bring the subject up?!

My other professor, who I very much admire and is also my culminating project director, hasn't said a word yet. I'm absolutely terrified of what he has to say. The final paper I turned is supposed to be what my CP will be based on. I told him from the start it would need heavy revision, and I would do so next semester when it would be the only thing I had to focus on. He praised my midterm paper, giving it an A; I've had in class three times. I plan on sending an email simply stating I know my paper was a mess and not up to the standards he has or that I have for myself. He has a reputation for being a hard ass. Plus, there's a couple not nice rumors that he once told a class of grad students "If this is your best work, get the fuck out of grad school!" and almost failed a girl's thesis, even though she previously had a good working relationship with him. We were supposed to meet sometime soon to discuss my prospectus, but having gotten a C in the class (the only time I've ever gotten lower than a B in his class), I've pretty much chickend out. I don't have much time anyways, since I'll be all day in Shelbyville today, then packing and flying out to SC Friday. My defense mechanism is avoidance; I don't like conflict or confrontations. In the email, I'm going to ask him to send his criticisms via email. That way, I can make Dustin read it and soften the blow. My biggest fear is he's going to tell me to "get the fuck out of grad school" and refuse to direct my CP. The rational part of me says, he can't do that, he already agreed. Plus, that would make him a complete jerk and bad teacher, neither of which I believe him to be. I'm hoping, I'm overly paranoid and once I own up to my bad work with the solemn promise of extreme revision, he won't eat me alive.

Finally, probably my biggest critic is my mother. She told me, I expect you to get all As in grad school because that is your field. She never understood that English was more than just "reading and writing." It's incomprehensible there's no such thing as a right or wrong answer--wrong or misinterpretation yes, but completely wrong no...so long as you can argue for it. I've spent my entire life trying to live up to her expectations and nothing is ever enough. I'm always compared to others (which is ironic because growing up she told me never to compare myself to other people) and her, when she was in grad school (for engineering no less). It always comes down to, "I don't understand why you can't make straight As. I hope you can find a job. I just wish you were good at math and could do something more practical. Are you sure you don't want to go into education?" Dustin told me, "If you define your self worth entirely through your mom, I'm surprised you have any self worth at all." There's no pleasing her, and I'm never good enough and always viewed as a disappointment and/or failure.

But, I survived. This is the only semester I have made lower than a B in any class; it will be the last. I will pull myself up. I will learn from my mistakes. I will not make excuses. I will try harder not to define myself by the judgments of other people made in ignorance (unintentional or willful). I will work hard to redeem myself. I will write an excellent and successful culminating project. I will finish graduate school with a Masters degree in English and a certificate in Medieval-Renaissance Studies. I will graduate in May with a cumulative GPA of a little over 3.0. I will perform all these tasks to the BEST of my ability.

How to Talk to Girls About the Messages of New Moon

2009-12-14T15:39:00.001-05:00

My friend Alyssa posted this link to an excellent blog by a female writer and educator named Rachel Simmons. She writes a fantastic blog post about how Twilight can be used by educators as a teaching tool. While, she looks at the two movies, her lesson plans can also extend to the books. So I'm posting part of her blog here along with my response. This is an important issue. As much as I dislike and belittle Twlight, its impact on young, teenage girls in PHENOMENAL which is really disturbing. Someone needs to sit down and have discussion with these girls without belittling them. In the words in Simmons, "Challenging it would be like taking on rock and roll." So here's the post in italics. My comments are below.

I think there’s been enough written about the dizzyingly bad messages “New Moon” telegraphs to girls. Among the cringe-worthy morals of this story: When you’re in love, the only thing that matters in life is your man. If you get dumped, your life is over, so feel free to act suicidal to get him back. Even if he tells you he never wants to see you again, manipulation and game-playing are effective ways to get his attention. Your friends are only ornaments; just kick them to the curb when he comes back.

No matter how you slice it, Bella Swan’s one reason for being is Edward Cullen. She’s got no hobbies. She’s got no opinions. She pretty much has no friends. The girl has nothing on her or about her that extends beyond one burning, fangy desire: Get. Edward. Back. Is it any wonder that when Bella extends her hand to the mind-reading Italian vampire, he is stunned to see “nothing?”

Which puts adults in a thoroughly uncomfortable position. Sitting in a sea of girls twittering and swooning at the phenomenal acting skills of Taylor Lautner’s torso, I found myself praying quietly for a scene where Bella paints, or sits on a bus with the debate team, or does something unrelated to obsessive, self-destructive pining. And I began to wonder how we could talk to girls about this film.
My suggestion is that we don’t come down like a ton of bricks on it. That’s a debate we’re sure to lose. Twilight isn’t just a phenomenon of dollars; it’s a social obsession among girls. It’s something they bond over and believe in together. Challenging it would be like taking on rock and roll.
So let’s talk with girls about New Moon on their terms and ours. This is a terrific opportunity for you to communicate your own values as a parent about intimacy, love and relationships.

This is a really great work of writing and very informative. I read this to my fiance who is soon to become a high school English teacher; he’s bemoaning the fact that he’s going to have to read Twilight eventually because it’s what the students are reading. I think this a great way to use popular fiction to facilitate class discussion.

I read all four books and saw the first movie, and personally found myself disgusted. I personally found Bella to be very flat and uninspiring. She has zero personality; she defines herself entirely through Edward. Contrary to what some say said, I don’t think Bella has any hobby much less a deep love for reading books. She only reads ONE book (albeit over and over): Wuthering Heights. If you think about it, that’s another book which revolves around a couple with an equally, actually more, destructive relationship. They’d make interesting companion pieces.

I can see how New Moon in some ways, accurately captures the loss and despair teenage girls feel after a break up (the whole world is over; I’ll never find love again). But the level of obsession, to the point of danger, that Bella has is disturbing. I really dislike the way she treats Jacob. I personally think he was better for her; their relationship seemed more playful and intimate than the control, distance, mixed with intense, obssessive passion that characterized her and Edward’s relationship. However, after Edward comes back Jacob turns into a total jerk. Both are at least borderline abusive towards her; it's a running joke that while watching the Twilight movies you can check off all the things on the domestic abuse hotline list.

Issues about sexual activity also need to be discussed. To me the whole book reads like tract on on abstinence. Edwards constantly tells Bella they cannot have sex until they are married. Bella just throws herself at Edward, not concerned the least bit about the consequences emotional or physical. Edward's reason for not wanting to have sex seem more belittling than noble; he's afraid of "breaking" or "hurting" her. Way to perpetuate the stereotype and paranoia. Granted, Bella enjoys it later on in spite of all the injuries. Why is it the fact after all the hinting and denying, when the two are finally married, the reader never sees them having sex?! It's like saying, this is something secret girls aren't allowed to see. I'm not in favor of a hardcore smut scene, but it'd be nice to see a little action, even if cloaked in metaphors, like romance novels. Lastly, comparing Twilight to other “high school” or “teenage” vampire novels to see how they treat similar issues could make another great lesson.

Lan's GLEEful Day of Princesses, Musicals, Battling Beauties and Cupcakes!

2009-12-09T23:35:00.004-05:00

I feel like today is a good day for blogging. I completed 4 out of three works for finals. One (and only) test down and one out of four papers done! I'm a little disgruntled about that. It still seems like a lot. I have one more than everybody else, most grad students take three classes. I decided to be academically suicidal and take four. At least I know I definitely passed my history exam with flying colors--or rather one color BLACK because it's on the Black Death and I also wrote in black pen---ahahaha.

I'm excitedly watching behind the scenes of The Princess and the Frog!!! We're gonna go see it as soon as my last final is done on the 15! :) I'm happy that Disney is taking a big step forward, and I'm not just talking about race. Tiana is a very forward thinking and acting princess! She works and has career goals. The actress Anika Rose is the first actress to both do the speaking AND singing voice of the princess. And she has a living and loving family! Though I don't know if she loses them or becomes estranged from them later. I really like that they're making her look like a real person, and "not just a darker colored version of one of the other princesses." Going to let my critical, feminist mind go and be fully optimistic! Hoping when Baku and I go to Disney World in the summer, there'll be a Princess and the Frog display or show. :)

I think this ties in nicely since before this I was watching Disney's remake of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella starring Brandy--which I LOVE!!! I've seen the old version too with Lesley Ann Warren--I like it too. Both are a staple of my childhood.

I've been all about the musicals lately. Glee has also been my obsession. Tonight was the last episode of the season I believe. And more than likely my sister and I will go halfsies on the first season dvd that will likely come at an extorsive priced. I love all the covers of 80s songs, current pop songs, and showtunes. It really feeds the theatre geek in me. As much as I hate to admit it, I live vicariously through one of the main characters, Rachel; she's such a mega diva with an attitude--she's getting better. My school didn't have a Glee club or theatre program, but I was very much an academic snob and thus a geek and on the lower end of the social tier. We did a couple "variety" shows (basically a smashing of scenes from movies and plays, and musical numbers), and I totally rocked those out! The show's music is so infectious and great; I find myself liking songs I didn't like before--I can only listen to the GLEE cast version though.

So now, I'm devoting the rest of my evening to the awesome battling beauty known as Utena Tenjou! I'm at episode 15 right now...it's an endurance run to get through the rest of the season and the movie...don't think it's going to happen. I can't possibly write on every episode anyway, my focus will be on specific ones, especially in the Student Council story arc--which I find really compelling moreso than the Black Rose. I'm really creeped out by the Souji and the way he creates the duelists. I'm still going to watch as much as I can, and read summaries of the episodes before and decide whether to watch or skip them. I know that's bad--I promise I'll watch them all later! I have to get this paper done by Friday, and its 15-20 pages. I'm hoping it turns out well and can be polished to journal article standards. :)

Lastly, Dustin and I discovered this new cupcake place. It's a small chain called Gigi's Cupcakes. We saw a sign out front that said "Free Samples." So of course we went in. They have the most amazing gourmet cupcakes ever! Their menu changes everyday, with a set list of flavors and a daily special. I got the daily special which was a white cupcake with pistachio filling, and raspberry icing with chocolate sprinkles! It was AMAZING! Baku got a chocolate, banana cupcake. They're so rich and the icing is piled high--it's enough to induce diabetic shock I'm sure.

I'm going to have a meltdown and crash when finals are done. I only have three days between my last final and when I go home to visit my family in South Carolina and North Carolina. I've also got to get Dustin a Christmas present too. Sheesh. Okay, now time to cram as much Utena as I can before my brain explodes. Read the four critical articles I'm going to use. Write a detailed outline, citing all the quotes from the queer theorists I'm using...OMG so much work!!!

FINALS! CRAZY ARHRHARAKKJDFHK TIME!

2009-12-07T02:13:00.003-05:00

Feeling a little stifled and I have a paper due by 4 PM today, and I'm about three quarters of the way done. I'm just struggling this semester because I've got the burn out. I've been talking to other grad students and glad to know I'm not alone. It's so weird to feel this burning hatred and complete apathy because I've always loved school and learning and writing (both creatively and academically). Writing is always difficult for me because I have crazy perfectionist, editor mind. So I'm blogging to help relieve some of the stress and get the writing flow going.

Dustin - significant other/fellow grad student - I don't know how I got through finals before him! He is a wonderful support and source of encouragement! We have totally different writing and thinking styles. He helps me out when I get frustrated and start second guessing everything I write. He listens patiently and gives suggestions when I read the same paragraph for the fifth time. Plus, he keeps me company and has a lot of faith in me. He said he missed eating breakfast. He works at UPS third shift, so by the time he gets out he's exhausted, goes to bed and sleeps until 1 PM or later. So we vowed to stay up all night and go eat breakfast together. We did and went to McDonald's at 6 AM to get breakfast which was delicious! I really miss him right now even though he's in the next room. He's sleeping early because he has to get up to teach class in the morning.

Lily, my kitty, is my other company keeper. She's sleeping too, though thankfully not on my notes. Even when there's multiple books and piles of notes, she knows exactly which one I'm currently using and lays down on it. She looks so gosh dang cute, I hate moving her and feel guilty for pulling the notes/book out from under her.

Cafe World, this little flash game on facebook does wonders to keep me occupied and for some odd reason focused. I use it as a timing and motivational device. I can write and cook simultaneously. I have to wait a certain amount of time for a dish to be done, and if I don't remove it from the stove in time it will go bad. My writing coincides with the time, and it works better than saying, "I'll write for one hour and play for one hour" which never happens. This system works because I'm cooking/playing at the same time as I'm writing. It's like, "I'll set kabobs to cook. They take one hour to cook. In that one hour, I will write a page then serve the kabobs. Then I set another dish on the stove, say another hour long dish, and the same thing happens." I like to think I have really eccentric means of keeping time and getting through finals.

Music is a big thing to help me feel good and keep calm. I've been really dependent on Celtic Woman and songs from GLEE. I'm obsessed with the new songs from Celtic Woman's new but not yet released album Songs From the Heart. There are official clips of the DVD concert on YouTube. I also listen to GLEE songs on YouTube as well since I don't have all of them on Itunes. I think the songs I keep listening to over and over are, "The Call," "When You Believe," "Ding Dong Merrily on High," "True Colors," "Lean on Me," and "Defying Gravity."

I'm Engaged!

2009-11-27T00:21:00.004-05:00

I thought it'd be a little while longer before I got to say this. I'm so excited and so happy! I have the best fiance a girl could ask for! Dustin is pretty sneaky and really caught me by surprise. I'm posting a couple pics of me and the ring--it's two carat diamond, marquis cut, and set in yellow gold. It was his grandmother's engagement ring. We need to get it sized a little smaller and reset. It's still a little surreal to me after waiting and waiting and joking about it.

So here's what happened:

We finish eating dinner, and Dustin had saved and cleaned the wishbone from the turkey earlier. We state the rules of the game: we both pull at the same time and whoever gets the bigger piece wins and gets their wish granted--actually Dustin got it backwards, I corrected him, but that's beside the point. So I'm thinking in my head what I want to wish for, of course the first that pops in my mind is, "I wish I was engaged...soon." We both pull, and I get the big piece. Then Dustin says, "Okay, I guess I have to grant your wish." He gets down on one knee and pulls a ring out of his pocket and asks, "Lan will you marry me?"

My reaction:

Shove him backwards and shout, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" I couldn't believe it, and thought he might be joking. I keep repeating this phrase over and over. Then I ask if he called my parents to ask permission. He said yes. I was like, "NU -UH!" I was in disbelief still. He told me he called my dad yesterday and my mom the day before; both were supportive and gave permission. I held out my hand, and he put the ring on and we kissed. His mom teared up; I almost teared up inbetween laughing at the situation. I had to call my parents to verify, and both were really nonchalant about the situation having known about it beforehand.

That's my story. It was wonderful because it wasn't the sweep me off my feet, complex, highly romantic situation. I kept ruining any and all ideas he had, and finally he got some assistance from the students he's helping to teach. The whole scene was Dustin through and through; plain, simple, yet really sneaky and still romantic. Gotta give him the most props for surprise. We're planning on a long engagement, so no wedding date set yet (though I can legitimately plan now). We're both finishing graduate school, and then have to figure out what we're doing afterward and of course save money.

Mini Epic Oven Adventure

2009-11-17T17:19:00.004-05:00

So, grad school has basically fried my brain, and I'm so wrapped up in deep thoughts and distracting myself with the internet that I tend to forget about the smaller, but no less important things like DON'T LEAVE THE OVEN ON IF YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO IT!

No serious disaster occurred, it was averted by a slight burning smell from the oven. This story has a fairly comic note. I was planning on re-toasting a wrap I had leftover from Jason's Deli in the oven. I threw it in the microwave for a little bit so the meat could heat up before putting it in the oven. I smell the oven burning a bit and panic thinking "OMG MY SANDWICH!!!!"

I rush to the oven and open it only to find nothing there. I start freaking out looking for it, thinking maybe it fell to the bottom or something. I'm like "WHERE THE HELL IS MY SANDWICH?! IT DISAPPEARED!" I honestly thought for a split second, somehow my sneaky brat cat Lily stole it out of the oven. I remembered putting the wrap in the oven, but not taking it out.

Then it dawned on me as I looked up and saw the microwave. I'd initially heated the wrap up for 15 seconds and put it in the oven. I touched the wrap a little bit and decided it wasn't quite warm enough, so I'd pop it in the microwave for another 15 seconds. Meanwhile, I left the oven on and started piddling around on the internet until the smell alerted me to the fact that something was wrong.

Now, my wrap is in the oven, has been for a couple minutes now, and I'm very aware of it as I type this. I felt like it was a silly event worth blogging about. No matter how much learning I have, I can't forget those basic little things. I'm lucky I smelled something and got to the oven and that nothing caught on fire.

Edit: Once more I am truly a dork. I turned the oven off in my panic. I put the wrap in the oven, but I didn't turn it back on. LOL.

Quick Academic Update

2009-11-10T23:15:00.003-05:00

I passed my foreign language exam! I had to translate 500 words of a piece of literary criticism on modernism (of all subjects) in Spanish in 3 hours using only a dictionary. I had been done with Spanish class for about year and half, didn't study, and was sick to boot. I was worried about my test results having not seen an email, but I found it today! It got buried under the mass of emails I have in my university account. Obviously they value content and the fact I got the main idea of the piece rather than an accurate word for word, grammatically correct translation. I am required to pass the test before I can defend my culminating project (the shorter equivalent of a thesis). Now, I'm one step closer to getting my Masters degree!

I am once more locked out InterLibrary Loan for overdue books, though they did not send me an email this time. It's frustrating when my research papers won't be finished until December, and I only get maybe one month with the books and a two week renewal. If I return the books, I can't renew them right away. I have to send them back then request them again, but that's after the period for however long the books were overdue for. Personally, it think the system is bull. If I could check out the books longer, like at my university library I wouldn't have this problem. It's inconvenient to haul 20+ books to the library every two weeks to renew them, and I'm pretty sure you can't renew ILL books online. I understand that the policy is probably there so that whatever university library the books come from has it when one of the students wants the book, they can get it. But seriously, how many students are angling for books on Medieval women prophets or a facsimile of the Lamentations of Katherine Parr? I'm keeping the books until I'm done with my research paper, and use interlibrary loan through Dustin's account; I'll just have to be careful to check the dates.

I have half the books from the library contained in my apartment. Most of the books are Medieval related (Black Death, women writers, and Anne Askew), but there are a some for my Civil War lit and Queer theory courses. I need a tall, strong, muscled, burly personal assistant to reach all the books in the tall places, so I don't have to climb on shelves when there's no step stool and carry them all around the library and to my car at the stadium. Or, the library could just provide shopping carts that I can carry all the books around in; that still wouldn't solve the problem of getting them to my car at the stadium though. Creative solutions anyone?

Sugoi Con - Round Up & an Open Letter to Tama

2009-11-05T01:00:00.004-05:00

Photos: Me (as Luke) & FICE. Dustin (as Prof. Layton) & Me (as Mio Akiyama)

I'm lazy to rewrite all the last SugiCon stuff and repost all the pictures here. So, I'm just going to link to Dustin's comprehensive post which has all the day 2 recap, photos, and links to video footage. Or you can just look up the photos on facebook. You all should go check it out! Brief Post Con Reflection: I really enjoyed this con, it being smaller than OhayoCon. I could walk and breathe and had a much lower level of anxiety. Only disappointment was in the lack of variety in the panels. But that was made up for the by the performances of 3 major Japanese music acts! Oh, and fancy cosplays are nice and great, but very inconvenient and stressful if you're trying to change in the bathroom or car and not a hotel room. Packing everything you need the night before is good, and always double check. Oh and another major plus was the lack of tons of stupid people; I didn't run into any drunk, high, stupid socially awkward yet highly obnoxious teens who were away from home for the first time. Also made a couple new friends.

Loot List: Really cool Tokyo Pop t-shirt (will post pic later) and a cute Card Captor Sakura wand cell phone charm. I bought Dustin a couple figures from his favorite game Star Ocean 4. I really didn't spend too much at the con--that could also be contributed to the fact that the dealers' room closed early on Saturday.

Okay and now, having while away my weekend and procrastinated per usual, I have to put together a 15 minute presentation on the Emancipation Proclamation, read two journal articles, research and start writing a bazillion million papers, and read the Knight's Tale and criticism on it. To help me do the first and most pressing task, I am attempting to enlist the aid of my best friend and semi-Civil War expert Tamela!

Dear Tama,

You know, we've been like best friends since 7th grade. It was so awesome to find out that you did Civil War Reenacting with your whole family; I think that was one of the coolest things about you. I have this you know, kind of big deal yet low key presentation on the Emancipation Proclamation due tomorrow at 4 PM...well actually it's like 5:30 PM because that's when we move from class discussion to archival presentation. Your dad has all kinds of nifty Civil War stuff, books, and knowledge as I know do you. Therefore, I think you should take off from your job, bring your dad, and all your civil war gear and come up to Louisville. It's only a 3 1/2 hour drive. We should also call the Abe Lincoln look-alike and performer that we met at that one reenactment we went to.

Then we'll all dress up in fancy Civil War clothes, Abe Lincoln will read the Emancipation Proclamation, and it'll be so fun and amazing that it will distract everyone so they forget I was actually supposed to discuss it. If there are questions from my professor, I will simply say, "I defer to knowledge of my expert" and point to your dad who can answer anything and everything. It's a guaranteed A for me and way for us to get to spend some quality time together. We can go out the next day and take your dad to the Frazier Arms Museum to check out all the 19th century weaponry they have. My professor is the nicest person and one of the most knowledgeable people about the Civil War. She would love you and your dad. It's fail proof. You have no excuse not to come. Just tell your boss you've got to go help your best friend get an A on her civil war presentation; no one can fault you for being a good friend. See what a great idea this would be? I'm so glad to have a best friend who I can count on for anything and who conveniently knows a lot about the Civil War. See you tomorrow!

Love,
YOUR BEST FRIEND
Lanny

Sugoi Con Day 1

2009-10-31T01:42:00.000-04:00

Whew, majorly exhausted from our first day at Sugoi. Our original goal was to get up at 8 AM leave the apartment by 9 AM, maybe run a few errands and grab lunch. We didn't leave the apartment until 11 AM, and running last minute cosplay errands took longer than expected. We got to the con around 2 PM, and were glad to know nothing had started. No panels started until 4 PM. So we registered and while in line had a conversation with a mom whose 15 year old daughter was going to an anime con for the first time. She was really uncomfortable with the idea of leaving her daughter by herself mainly because she saw the huge variety in age groups a.k.a. tons of older, creepy looking guys. Dustin and I talked to her about cons and attempted to alleviate some of her concerns. Dustin said the woman was totally trying to push us into being chaperons for her daughter; I totally missed that.

After registering, we ran across to the supermarket to pick up some last minute items needed to help finish or make our cosplay function. Dustin "Macgyvered" his Professor Layton tophat using posterboard and clear packing tape. Note: Gorilla Glue does NOT equal craft glue or work on fabric. We could've used some of Billy May's "Might Mend It." We both changed into our cosplays and then headed to the Ghibli Worlds Panel. It was an interesting panel, though it could've been better if there weren't technical difficulties. Some neat points I took from the panel were: Miyazaki in almost all his films has an environmental theme, and he focuses on strong, female characters because he feels they are underrepresented in Japanese culture and too often relegated to stereotypical, weaker roles like housewife. Following that, we went to Con Safety run by Greg Ayers with his fantastic hair. We had some downtime, and I was going to change into my Mio cosplay, however I realized, I had packed everything but my wig. -_-; Nevertheless, I was content to remain in my Luke cosplay largely because it was so comfortable. Dustin and I got a lot of recognition together; it was really fun when people asked us for pictures. It was really hilarious when one woman said, "Oh you're from that mystery game, "The Mysterious Village." I just solve the puzzles, I don't know the names. It's a mystery."

We grabbed a couple hot dogs and container of nachos and headed into the Duct Tape Sewing Panel. It was more specifically a panel on how to use duct tape to make a pattern that you could later add fabric onto or trace onto fabric and cut out. It was run by two older ladies in their fourties, who were pretty funny and spunky women. It was cool to see the things she created using simply duct tape, tin foil, and newspaper and cardboard. It got a little tedious though and the fact there was a loud, major tool in there didn't help. Dustin left maybe 15 minutes before the panel ended, and I followed him a few minutes after. We went to the concert being held and saw the last couple acts of FICE and stayed for three songs of the band Zetki. I found the girls of FICE absolutely adorable; they had so much energy and it caught on fast. I didn't think I would like Zetki, but I was pleasantly surprised. They impressed me and reminded me of JAM Project. Dustin got so excited when they performed "Desert Punk." I really liked the second song they sang, though I have no idea about the name.

After leaving the concert, we skedadaled over to History of Fandom. This was my favorite panel of the night. I really didn't know what to expect. However, the guy running it, named Mark (I think was his name) was AWESOME! He was so well prepared and only used powerpoint to bring up basic points. He gave a detailed, well researched account of the anime industry and how the fandom evolved. He broke it down by generations, saying every two years a new anime generation/fandom was formed. He talked about when the first anime conventions were formed and how they're different from current cons. He credited the internet with being largely influential in shaping the anime fandom. He was so laid back and funny but his intelligence clearly shined throughout his presentation. Probably his most important point was that now is the best time to be an anime fan because of all the resources we have access to and the dramatic lowering in the cost of anime and manga (as compared to the 90s). Such a great panel and panelist; I'm definitely going to hunt him down tomorrow and talk some more with him.

Lastly, we went to the Cosplay 101 panel. It was informative; always nice to get cosplay tips. I didn't gain a great deal of new information on cosplaying; what I took from the panel was knowledge about different vendors for patterns and wigs. For me, there just wasn't anything particularly striking about the panelist or the information she presented--since I knew most of it already.

Dustin is uploading video footage. We're going to head to bed soon. Thankfully, the first panel we want to attend starts at 1 PM. We get to sleep in. Plus, there won't be any running around for extra cosplay stuff. Post pictures and videos tomorrow. :)

Haunted Housing

2009-10-29T00:30:00.000-04:00

I'm not particularly a huge fan of haunted houses because I don't think it's fun to be scared. I've only been to one haunted house in my entire life, and it was because I was reviewing it for my university newspaper. I apparently made a big mistake in writing the review from a first person perspective, so someone else wrote up a review of it and included it with the other Halloween features. Needless to say I was a little miffed. The house I went to was the Culbertson Mansion in Evansville, Indiana. The mansion is haunted, but there were no tours of it going on at the time because it was under renovation. I believe the "haunted house" part was set up in the carriage house.

I went with two guy friends, and we had to wait a long time in line. There was guy outside trying to get us all worked up, nervous, and a little scared before going in the haunted house. It didn't work on me. I was pretty much bored. The guy didn't tell us anything about the history of the mansion or about the ghosts that haunted it. When I finally went inside the house, I was still pretty cocky and brave feeling. I walked through and sidestepped all the creatures and people trying to scare me; I recognized many of the rooms as being scenes from movies. I got a little nervous going through "The Ring" but didn't really get scared until we had to go through a tight, narrow hallway with a low ceiling. There was a guy with a chainsaw (Mike Myers from Halloween I think...) following close behind us. I freaked out. I held on tightly to one of my friend's hands and tried to rush through the tunnel as quick as possible. I could feel the vibrations from the chainsaw on the back of my neck, and it made really nervous and scared. Oh there was a creepy clown too. I made it through the rest of the house no problem. In the end, I was a little scared but never terrified. Nevertheless, I don't want to try my luck in a scarier haunted house.

Recently I watched a couple documentaries on the History and Travel Channels about the top, scariest haunted houses in America. I was scared silly watching it. The effects and costumes and sets some of them have are amazing, not to mention horrifying. They're far from the predictable cheesiness of the haunted house I went to. One haunted house I would be tempted to brave would be the Headless Horseman hayride in New York. There's a story and most importantly you stay on a truck bed, nice and safe while you watch all the creepy things on the side. There's a real headless horseman that chases you, but I don't think he actually gets on the truck and neither does anyone/thing else. I'm big on distance and personal space.

I keep thinking I'd like to do a corn maze haunted house, like Field of Screams. It just kind of sounds fun. Then again, I lack any sense of direction and with scary people chasing me with chainsaws, I think the scare factor would outweigh the fun factor. I'd be lost in there til close, and then the people would be thinking, "Man, now we gotta go in and get this dumb girl who can't find her way out and is too easy to scare."

There's some really scary haunted houses with actual, horrible histories located in Louisville. The Baxter Avenue Morgue and Waverly Hills Sanitarium are two of the most well known and scariest places nationwide. There's the Haunted Hotel which is a haunted house which is worked on all year and located close to campus. Many people I know rave about its awesomeness and scare factor. Thinking of local haunted houses reminds me also of Paducah, where I used to live. The houses well known to locals are the Judgment House and Talon Falls. I would imagine the Judgment House to be very scary and over the top. It is a very conservative, Christian, Heaven and Hell themed haunted house. The story changes every year, but it's meant to scare teens out of their wits so that they all become or remain good, moral Christians and go to Heaven. I've never been to either, but my sister has been to Talon Falls. She told it was corn maze and really fun to go through.

I've always been fascinated with the rumors of the haunted house that you have to sign a waiver before entering. At minimum it has 7-10 rooms or floors and at max up to 100. You pay around $100-150 to get it, however it you make it through the entire haunted house you receive a full refund or a refund plus extra--up to $500. The people inside can touch you and do pretty much whatever they can do to scare you. I've heard that a group of marines went in and made it to the 20th floor or room before getting so scared they had to leave. No one I know has ever been to this haunted house. I always hear about from friends who hear about from their friends. Again, nobody personally knows anyone who has ever been in such a haunted house. It's one of those Halloween urban legends.

So anyone a frequenter of haunted houses? How many have you been to? What types have you gone through? Is there a favorite? What's the allure or turn off of haunted houses? Do you enjoy being scared? Or do you like to see other people, specifically close family or friends being scared? What's the scariest room in a haunted house (i.e. kids room, insert horror film room)?

It's Candy Time!

2009-10-27T19:16:00.002-04:00

I love the movie Monster House; it was actually pretty scary for a kids movie. Thinking about the movie, obviously makes me think of Trick-or-Treating. I was never allowed to Trick or Treat by myself or even walk around the neighborhood. My mother had to drive me around from house to house; we also didn't get to go to many houses because my mom didn't want to drive that far. The only exception to this was when I went Trick-or-Treating with a friend or relatives. In those cases, I usually got to walk around in a group and the parents just maintained a distance from behind. The last time I went Trick-or-Treating, I was in 8th grade. I went with my sister around our small neighborhood (by ourselves) and we took our cat along in a bag. He wore a bandana around his neck; we said he was a biker kitty. I have two vivid Trick-or-Treating memories from my childhood.

The first: I was a mermaid for Halloween. It was one piece dress with a light, blue long sleeved top, gold seashell bikini, long, shiny green skirt. I guess I thought the dress was too open or loose to look like a tail. I remember my aunt sewing it tighter around my legs which made it difficult to walk fast or run. I remember me, my sister, and cousins all going out and racing to this one house. My skirt being constricting and my shoelace untied, I tripped and fell face flat in the wet grass. By the time I got up, everyone was back with candy.

The second: I was in 5th grade; I think I was a witch or something generic. I went out with my sister, my mom's friend and her two daughters (about the same age as my sister and me). We were in a large, rich neighborhood, and there was one house with a two door garage turned into a haunted house. There was a clown running a popcorn machine outside. We got a bag of popcorn and ate it before going inside. There cobwebs and purple and green lights all over. There were people in scary masks and costumes lurking in the corners, jumping out and growling at us. I remember my friend saying, "Just stick out your hand, and they'll give you stuff." So I stuck out my hand while closing my eyes, I got a Halloween pencil with a purple bat eraser and candy. It was pretty neat. To this day, I still think of it as the best house I ever visited Trick-or-Treating.

After I got home from Trick-or-Treating, I dumped out all my candy out on the floor. I carefully sorted it into piles. I separated them into name brand candy bars, Reeses or peanut butter candies, suckers, chocolate coins or other plain chocolates wrapped in colorful tin foil, and Nerds and other fruit flavored candies. There was pile far off to the side of the reject candy; it was filled with cheap, bad candy or candy I didn't know the taste of. I always threw out those orange and black wrapped candies. I never knew what they were and always assumed they were bad. I just recently saw a bag of them at the Dollar General and learned that they are peanut butter taffy candies. I also threw out the black and white striped rectangle candies, which I eventually learned were Mary Janes. Then there was some yellow, red, and blue wrapped rectangle candy I threw out.

I always made my candy last, and rationed out certain candies so all the good ones wouldn't be gone first. My mom never checked my candy either. I always remember the warnings about razor blades and poison being put in candy or apples; I never heeded them though. I ate my candy as soon as I got back from Trick-or-Treating.

What's one of the most vivid Halloween memories you have? How did you go Trick-or-Treating; what were you allowed and not allowed to do? Did you ever sort your candy or just eat it all at once? Were there any candies you shunned and automatically threw out? Did your parents have to check your candy before you ate it? What's the oldest you've gone Trick-or-Treating? Do you take your younger siblings or relatives out and mooch of their candy?

Halloween: Couple Costumes

2009-10-27T00:32:00.005-04:00

I always like the idea of couples dressing in coordinating costumes. However, I'm all about the nerdy, more unconventional couple costumes. Since Dustin and I have been together, we've always coordinated costumes on Halloween. The first year we were together we "Masqueraded," second year: Janine Melnitz and Louis Tully aka the secretary and accountant from the Ghostbusters movies, and last year...oh wait we didn't coordinate...I was a gothic lolita and he just dressed remotely gothic...this year of course we're going as Professor Layton and his boy assistant Luke. Yes make all the jokes you want about ancient Greece and man-boy love. I've made them all myself, actually that's how the costume idea came about. Dustin says we should make out in public when we're at Sugoi Con so we can make all the yaoi fangirls squee. My Luke costume is pretty much finished; all I need is a white, oxford shirt and suspenders. Dustin has to get an orange, collared shirt and make a top hat. I'll post pics where we're done. Even if you're not part of a couple, coordinating costumes are fun. So what are you all's Halloween costume ideas? Anyone coordinating or matching with a friend or group? Opinions on coordinating costumes for couples or groups or pairs?

Here's a few pics of my and Dustin's past coordinating costumes:

Okay, not really a costume, but one of my fave photos taken in October when looking in a vintage store (Queen of Rags) for a costume. 2006

"Masquerade Plastic Faces on Parade." We bought the dress and the tail coat in Queen of Rags (both on sale for $3). We made our own masks by going to Hobby Lobby buying a basic, plain masks and then coloring them sharpies (Dustin) and adding sequins and feathers (me). 2006

Yay, the ultimate nerdy couple! My glasses are fake; I got them in the clearance bin at Claire's. Notice how Dustin is wearing his real glasses inside of the frames of another pair of glasses. We went to see Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D and got the idea to punch out the lenses and just use the thick black frames. I just used cheap, colored hair spray for my hair.

Gothic Horror Party 2008 Yeah, we don't really match except for the black. It's okay though. Dustin's friend made the tie and he sewed the little black x's on his collar--the outfit is actually for a cosplay. My GL skirt I bought at Queen of Rags and the fantastic hat I bought on Ebay.

Fantasy Friday: The Music of Heather Dale

2009-10-23T23:01:00.001-04:00

Heather Dale is a fantastic musician. She performs Celtic style music and writes songs based on mythology, specifically Arthurian myth. Her songs recap many of the stories of King Arthur from the birth of Mordred to Guinevere's trial. All of her songs are inspired by the Middle Ages and the Renaissance. Her voice is beautiful and haunting. She brings these stories to life like a bard. Her lyrics create more depth to the stories we know. I most often compare her to Loreena Mckennitt because both their songs are very narrative in structure. She has eleven albums to date, her most recent is The Green Knight. My two favorite songs are "Mordred's Lullaby"--a gorgeous and powerful ballad sung from the perspective of Morgan Le Fay--and "Kingsword" --which is a more rock-type ballad that prophecies the coming of Arthur and the sword in the stone incident. She also has a song about female knights called "One of Us"! Any lover of fantasy and Celtic music will definitely enjoy listening to the songs of Heather Dale.

Mordred's Lullaby

Kingsword

One of Us

Best Birthday Present Ever!

2009-10-23T01:18:00.000-04:00

I got an A on my source review paper!!!

I've been really worried about my first writing project for my Medieval Literature and Law course. I've never written a source review before, and I was really worried I was doing it incorrectly. I wrote it in a way that made sense to me and while I was horribly sick with the imitation Flu. My professor is known for being a hard ass. He's also my adviser for the Med-Ren program, academic mentor, and now the director of my culminating project. Basically, to me, he's God; he holds my academic career in the balance. I aspire to reach his level of "smartness," and impressing him is a really difficult task.

I got my paper back today at the end of class. I was really anxious and worried. Despite his assurances that the quality of the class's work as a whole was great, I thought I would be one of the exceptions. I was praying for just a B+ (that's like an A with almost any other professor). I wasn't going to look at my paper before I got home. I was just going to grab it and run.

However, my professor handed me my paper and said, "Lan, I've read your writing several times now, and this is the best writing I've seen from you." My jaw literally dropped, and I asked, "Are you serious?!" He answered, "Yes." I asked at least 3 times more, "Are you serious?!" I could not believe it. He answered "Yes" every time.

Dumbfounded, I walked out to where Dustin was waiting for me. I started waving my paper around, saying, "I got an A! Dr. Rabin praised my writing!" I finally got a chance to read his note which read:

"Lan,

This is outstanding work. Your research is very impressive, and your discussion is intelligent and closely argued. While I've made a few notes on the hard-copy, on the whole, this very well done, and foreshadows and excellent final paper.

Congratulations!

A"

This is high praise coming from Dr. Rabin! It's really helped restore my confidence in myself, my writing ability, and motivation to finish grad school!

Do You Believe?!

2009-10-22T00:40:00.002-04:00

I am ALMOST FINISHED with my Masters degree in English and my Certificate in Medieval and Renaissance Studies! I met with my adviser today, and we counted all my courses multiple times. I found I could count my 600 level History course as my one elective outside the department thus making my coursework complete! Next semester I only have to take one class to finish my Medieval Renaissance Certificate, and I'll be writing my culminating project and studying once more for my foreign language exam! Keeping my fingers crossed that I will finish and graduate on time! I'm kind of kicking myself for taking 12 hours (4 classes) this semester because I could've saved myself some heartache and sorrow by taking two next semester. However, this gives the opportunity to focus entirely on my writing!

Anette Olzon, the singer for one of my favorite bands Nightwish, has a new album coming out! She recently recorded a song with the Finnish rock band Rasmus. The song is called "October and April;" it's a beautiful duet between Anette and the lead singer of the band, Lauri. The music video is being released tomorrow or rather later today!

My birthday is now two days away! I will be 24 on the 24 of October! I plan to celebrate by going to Gattiland, drinking, and watching Hocus Pocus--all with friends of course!

ABC Family is supposed to have started the 13 Days of Halloween. However, I have not yet seen a single Halloween film or themed TV show on there yet! I've been placating myself with cheesy Disney and Cartoon Network Halloween movies and shows.

Quick Blog

2009-10-21T00:36:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling much better, and my sickness is almost gone.

Grad school is currently making a mess of my life, but I will finish it!

I switched with a co-worker, so this Saturday I open at work and have the whole evening free to celebrate my birthday!

Taylor Swift is my ultimate guilty pleasure; her songs are just so catchy!

My Sakura costume is complete and has been shipped!

I'm going to try to do NaNoWriMo; now I'm debating whether my novel will be a silly yet empowering fairytale with a plucky heroine or a wild, novelization of my friend Jacob and my B-movie about a female ballroom dancer, vampire slayer.

No I am Not "Down with the Sickness"

2009-10-13T23:53:00.000-04:00

I hate being sick. I have been sick since Saturday when it hit me all of a sudden at work. Non-stop fever, chills, and coughing, not to mention other unpleasant symptoms. Went to the doctor and thankfully didn't have to wait long. At least, I was not told there was technically nothing wrong with me. The doctor was really nice and expressed genuine concern and also was considerate of the fact that I didn't have insurance. They had some kind of discount which was nice, and the cost of the H1N1 virus test wasn't so high to make the cost double what I expected the doctor to cost. Thankfully, my parents are super awesome and helping me out with the cost of the doctor and prescription.

I have just damned the Food Network for being too enticing and promoting ridiculous and unnatural cravings (especially when sick) and Guy Fieri for making me feel more ill than I am. He stuffs his mouth as full as possible and chews with his mouth open. I am currently shunning it. I'm also trying to avoid watching TV so I can work on my big bibliography and source review project due Thursday. Somehow I keep getting enticed by whatever is on TV whether it be a commercial or a some random TV show.

I am unable to eat hardly anything, despite having something resembling an appetite. I had my first attempt at making Cho Ga --vietnamese rice soup with chicken, but it didn't turn out as well as I wanted. My mom instructed me on how to fix it, so I'll do that tomorrow. I've been living off a limited diet of toast, saltines, raisin bran. It is complimented by frequent doses of Tylenol, cough medicine, and anitbiotic.

Now Dustin is sick too. The both of us manage to alternate between stages of extreme sickness and helplessness. After I opened the cabinet complaining about lack of desirable food substances, Dustin suggested muffins. To which my enthusiastic reply was, "YES!" Thank God for instant muffin mix where you just add milk!

So that's my small update and reason for not updating as often as I hoped to.

Fantasy Friday: The Last Unicorn

2009-10-09T22:00:00.013-04:00

I've decided to implement the use of theme days in my blog simply because it helps me focus my writing. The genre of Fantasy is my favorite book/movie genre. It's what led me down the road to Medieval Studies. Unicorns are among the most common creatures found in Fantasy. My favorite unicorn of all time is Peter S. Beagle's Last Unicorn. This movie and book has been in my life ever since I can remember and has had a profound influence on me. Every year, I always rewatch the movie and reread, at least, my favorite parts of the novel.

The story is summed up in the title: The Last Unicorn. One day, a unicorn hears two hunters in her wood talking; before leaving, the older hunter urges her to stay in her wood where she is safe for she is the last unicorn in the world. Later the unicorn learns all the other unicorns were driven into the sea by the Red Bull. The unicorn ventures out into the world to in search of her kind. She encounters a clumsy magician, Schmendrick and a sharp-tongued, older woman named Molly Grue. Together they journey to find the Red Bull and the other unicorns. Daring adventures and romance occur throughout their journey. At the end, all the unicorns are freed. The unicorn finds her companions have left as great an impact on her life as she has theirs.

This is one of the most beautiful stories ever told. The plot is intricately woven with excitement, passion, and sadness. It's very creative and not in any way predictable. The prose flows naturally and easily. Many different themes appear within the story such as what constitutes happiness; how much control do we have over our fate; death or immortality: which would you choose; what is the nature of a hero; what purpose do fairytales serve; and of course, true love never fails. There is lots of play with illusion and reality. The descriptions of settings and characters are vivid. Songs are interspersed throughout the book. Furthermore, there are so many memorable lines both witty and moving. I found myself completely immersed in the world, watching all the events unfold before me. The ending is powerful, bittersweet, and perfect. Every time, I read or watch it, I am deeply moved.

The characters are multi-dimensional, and I cared about them all. No one is unforgettable, not even the side characters that appear in one or two chapters. There are no "stock-characters." Everyone has a purpose and reason for going on the journey. I really like how the unicorn's character is a paradox, both simple and complex. A struggle of identity can be seen when she is transformed into a human; she becomes undefinable. Furthermore, her relationship with the humans is not portrayed as being perfect, wonderful, friends for life. Schmendrick may be a poor excuse for a magician and makes lots of jokes, but he's not in the story only for comic relief. Molly Grue is not a Maid Marian-damsel-in-distress type; as I mentioned before, she's an older woman (likely in her 30s), with a sharp tongue and mind; she's strong and fiercely protective of the unicorn. She's more the protector of the group than Schmendrick. In a way, all the main characters in the book start out lost and search for something whether it be power, a new life, love, happiness, or simply unicorns.

The movie follows very closely with the book as Peter S. Beagle did write the screenplay. The voice actors are stellar. The movie is very beautifully animated and full of lush colors and detailed scenery. The unicorn is drawn like the traditional medieval unicorn--"Tail like a lion's tail, deerlegs, goatfeet..."--in other words it does not look like a horse with a horn on it's head (Beagle is really adamant about that fact).

The introduction looks like a moving version of the famous, medieval unicorn tapestries. The music is very soft and beautiful and mostly performed by the band America. There are some exceptions, the song "Now That I'm a Woman" performed by Mia Farrow (the voice of the unicorn) is not that stellar. However, another singer replaced her in the duet "That's All I Have to Say"--which is a very pretty song. The intro song has actually been covered by a band called In-Mood featuring the female vocalist Juliette. The movie was animated by TopCraft Studio which later became the now famous Studio Ghibli (which produces Hayao Miyazaki's films like Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, and Princess Mononoke).

I highly recommend both the novel and movie. The novel has been republished In spite of the fact that he said he never would, Beagle has also written a sequel or coda to The Last Unicorn; it is entitled: Two Hearts and features all the same characters as the first book and new one, Sooz--who will be the protagonist in another novel. You can read the the story for free on his site. Also, if you can find it, there is The Last Unicorn: The Lost Version which is essentially the unfinished, rough draft of The Last Unicorn; it's very different from the final product and worth reading to see the evolution of the story. Most importantly, I urge that you support Peter S. Beagle by purchasing both from Conlan Press. He has been in an ongoing legal battle with Granada Studios over the money he was never given for writing the screenplay The Last Unicorn. You can find all the details at Conlan Press's website. If you purchase from there, half the money goes to Peter S. Beagle.

Lastly, I just found out there was stage production of The Last Unicorn written and performed. Apparently it has been rewritten and scheduled to be performed this Fall by the Promethean Theatre Ensemble in Chicago. Opening night is October 17! They have a blog of progress too! If anyone goes to see this let me know how it turned out!

The Black Death, Epic Church Building, and Killer Unicorns

2009-10-06T23:24:00.005-04:00

So, for my history course on the Black Death, I'm reading this book and reviewing it. Small crisis surrounding this; didn't realize my critical review of it was due today in class until yesterday when I was going to work. I hadn't even started the book. I genuinely thought the book was going to be the last text read in class and the review was due sometime in November. Thankfully, my professor was very understanding and lenient, especially since this is a grad class (albeit mixed with undergrad). He's letting me turn it in Friday for a late grade. I was half expecting to be denounced as a heretic and burned at the stake for suggesting such a thing. All my professor said was "Friday?" Anyway, started the book last night when I got home, and decided I don't like. It's boring and Lame--note the capital L.

I think Hatcher is a historical snob--especially reading his preface. The book is a rather dull read and Hatcher keeps beating you over the head with the same words and themes over and over. He's trying for a blend of fiction and history and failing miserably. He doesn't seek to try to develop his characters (because oh no, that's going into the bad, evil, dirty territory of "the novel") and really doesn't allow for them to be even human. It's realistic to believe Master John (the main character and a fictional one) was a devout priest, strictly by the rules, kind of guy. However, for him to never get irritated with his congregation--who act like a bunch of scared, dumb sheep, wailing and lamenting all the time--or think about anything other than his congregation and the plague is silly. At some point, he has to think of himself, if only in the sense of "I'm hungry and need sleep." Hatcher is trying to be too objective and so focused on historical accuracy, that he can't even create interesting dialogue. Everything sounds like something that was previously written down in a sermon or parish court or manorial court document. There are many historical books that can read as easily as fiction or blend the lines between, for example Four Queens by Nancy Goldstone. There are other novels that are very grounded in history for example Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose. Really, Hatcher doesn't provide the reader with any more insight to the mind of 14th century witness to the plague than any other well written history book on the subject. He really should just have dropped the pretense of fiction altogether and written a history book. He could have left out Master John and everything would've been about the same. I could have read the parish and manorial court documents myself and gotten the same story.

Moving on to another Medieval book that is fiction but well grounded in history is Ken Follet's Pillars of the Earth. It's about the building of a major Cathedral in a town called Kingsbridge and the interactions between the people involved in building it. I've been intrigued by this book for a long time, but daunted by its size. I believe it's 900 pages. The book has great renown among the mainstream readers and apparently historians too. The book was brought up in class today as an example of a novel that succeeds in keeping true to history. I've been looking for a good Medieval novel to read (as I keep reading a slew of bad ones: The Illuminator and Mistress of the Art of Death; granted I haven't finished the latter, but so far I'm unimpressed) that has a merging of romance of action with strong female characters. This just might be what I'm looking for! It has the added bonus of smut--LOLZ. Apparently, there's also an 8 hour tv series being made based on the book; here's a link to the site. It looks very impressive and grand scale! Anyone read this book and if so, impressions?

Lastly, I was in the bookstore the other day looking at the Tamora Pierce books trying to find one in a size big enough to turn into a purse. I saw this book entitled Rampant which had a woman, a sword, and unicorn on it. For a moment, I thought it was an awesome new cover Tamora Pierce's Lioness Rampant. As many of you know, Sword + Woman + Unicorn = instant win for Lan. I was intrigued, so I read the summary on the inside of the cover. It's about KILLER UNICORNS and a girl who slays them!

Official Summary:

Astrid Llewelyn has always scoffed ather eccentric mother’s stories about killer unicorns. But when one of the monsters attacks her boyfriend in the woods – thereby ruining any chance of him taking her to prom – Astrid learns that unicorns are real and dangerous, and she has a family legacy to uphold. Her mother packs her off to Rome to train as a unicorn hunter at the ancient cloisters the hunters have used for centuries.

However, at the cloisters, all is not what is seems. Outside, the unicorns wait to attack. And within, Astrid faces other, unexpected threats: from crumbling, bone-covered walls that vibrate with a terrible power to the hidden agendas of her fellow hunters to – perhaps most dangerously of all – her growing attraction to a handsome art student… and a relationship that could jeopardize everything.

I grew up with image of magical, beautiful, sometimes dangerous, but never evil unicorns. I'm very much steeped in the tradition of Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn. I'm not gonna lie, I'm still very much a little girl at heart when it comes to unicorns. I love them and always will. However, this is a story that is supposed to, when reading, create a strong dislike if not hatred of them. I don't know how I feel about this. Confused, afraid, angry. How dare you turn unicorns from shining, beautiful, wondrous creatures to venomous, blood thirsty beasts? Though now that I think about it, that's kind of how the unicorn hunters view the unicorns in Bruce Coville's Into the Land of Unicorns series. Anyway, it's different, so maybe I'll give it a shot. Though, I'm not sure how I feel about the modern setting. This book could go terribly wrong or could be a distinct work of genius. Again, any readers with opinions to share?

Pardon My Mess...

2009-10-05T02:58:00.004-04:00

Piddling around with a gorgeous new layout I found created by Slayerette. I'm still figuring out how to import all my widgets in. The comments link is kind of hard to see as it borders closely with the title of the previous post. So...yeah...things look a little messy and wonky right now. They'll be fixed soon. Ok the comments thing isn't working quite right yet either...

Edit: Okay so none of that was working right...so once more I'm going back to the no fail create my own header, background and make a layout the plain, simple way versus the fancy, pretty layouts that I can't figure out how to alter so that my widgets and comments work right with it.

St. James Art Fair & Fashionable Reading

2009-10-05T00:35:00.004-04:00

So I went to the St. James Art Fair this weekend. I think it's like Louisville's own holiday considering how massive it is, the renown, the huge number of people; they close down like 3rd and 4th street for the whole weekend and some schools even get out for it. It's held in St. James Court--the nice, historic part of Old Louisville. In addition to artists from Louisville, there's tons of artists from all over the nation. There's a variety of artwork from paintings, photographs, sculptures, metal work, jewelry, clothes, and other accessories. Just about everything imaginable. You get to walk by all the beautiful, historic mansions--including my favorite, the pink house--it's haunted too!

The past two years, I've bought prints from artist Vincent Flemming. He paints gorgeous fantasy images in oil. Most of them include fairies, unicorns, and dragons and books.

This year though, I discovered and had to have a book purse! I spotted the Twilight purse hanging up from a distance. I thought, "oooh that looks pretty, let's see what else is in that booth" (note: I dislike the book, but the purse was beautiful). I poked my head in and lo and behold, I saw a purple Shakespeare purse! Then I saw a Wicked (the musical) purse! I was squeeing like a little kid and babbling excitedly to Dustin.

The artist is Karla Staley and here's a link to her site. She makes purses out of playbills, book covers, record albums, game boards and magazine covers. Her Harry Potter purses are actually touring with the Magic of Harry Potter exhibit that was in the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry! The purses normally sell for around $52 dollars, the museum gift shop was selling them for $100!

She's really nice; I talked to her about how the purses were made, and she told me she was stickler for quality. She uses real book covers, though that means she has to take the pages out of them. She promised if I had any problems with the purse to contact her and she'd repair it. She also does custom purses! I bought the purple Shakespeare sonnet purse. As you can see it has a gorgeous double, beaded handle, and is an "open clasp" style. I can adjust the "string" part to allow for expansion. It's pretty awesome! I'm asking for another purse for my birthday. I'm also looking for a copy of one of Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness books that's big enough to be made into a purse.

St. James is so fantastic; it's a place to find and buy unique stuff no one else has. I love seeing and drooling over all the gorgeous artwork! If only, I was loaded and had a huge house. One of my favorite events of the year! Already, I've received so many compliments of my purse! Plus, it's a great way of expressing my personality as a reader and English major. I was telling the artist I should create a collection of classic literature purses; and she was like, "Please do!" :)

The Secret to Success is...

2009-09-30T01:44:00.002-04:00

Sitting at table. I just realized how much of a difference a table makes in helping me focus on reading--critical or academic texts. I left my desk in Dustin's parents' garage in Shelbyville because of the lack of space in our apartment. Dustin's desk is occupied by his laptop. I just set up my laptop on the glass coffee table and usually read and write from there. However, I am very prone to distractions like the TV and the internet and playing on or organizing my laptop.

I happen to have a very nice dining table that is hardly ever used because Dustin and I like to watch TV when we eat. TV is the living room and table is in the kitchen and not in line of view. I have a few things sitting on the table, however most of the space is empty. I got tired of sitting on the floor and the couch because I have to keep holding the reading up to my face; I keep getting cramped; plus the lighting in the living room isn't all that great either. I sat at the dining table, and it made such a huge difference! I'm like in a state of incredulity, thinking "Why didn't I do this before?"

The reading went by quick. I didn't have to juggle the paper, pen and highlighter. I was more focused on my reading and it all seemed clearer, though that could be because the readings were easier than last weeks. Now, I remember my mom always making me sit at the kitchen table when I did my homework. If I sat in the kitchen the TV had to be off or else I had to sit in the dining room. All those hours spent doing homework and studying at a regular table did help with the concentration. I've been with this table since we first lived in SC, so like 12 years; makes me a little nostalgic; maybe there's some study magic embedded in it that'll help me through my last semesters in grad school.

Kind of an odd post. It's just kind of neat to look at study habits and see how environment can affect you. I find I need mostly isolation, a little background noise, lots of light, and a flat, high surface to rest my reading on to study effectively. What kind of study habits do you guys who are still in school have? Do your surroundings affect you? Does it depend on what you're doing/reading? What are the bad habits you keep trying to kick that always come back and bite you in the ass (besides procrastination)?

Play Day!

2009-09-27T03:40:00.004-04:00

My first real play day since school started. I asked off from work, so I could go to a cook out in Shelbyville with Dustin's family. I met all his aunts and cousins. I must admit they are pretty, white trash HOWEVER they are nonetheless VERY GOOD, NICE people. His aunts, cousins (almost all are 34+ women), and grandma all smoke like chimneys and drink cosmopolitans. The uncles just kind of stand around awkwardly and talk to one another. Except AJ, whose very comfortable with all the women, and equally as white trash. I guess I should rephrase and say, they're just very Kentucky type, southern people is the most tactful way to describe them. I find them hilarious and so much fun. However, I am a little worried about how they're going to mesh with my slightly conservative Asian family, especially my slightly snobby, uppity aunts on my mom's side, at our wedding (whenever that happens).

I'm feeling so sick from all the food I ate today. At the cookout, I ate a brat, bacon & cheese burger, and a piece of pineapple upside down cake. Despite being raised in the South (NC, SC, KY --though it's techinically a border state), I'm not a fan of most Southern food. I just can't stand the taste of potato salad, canned greenbeans, most types of pasta salad, and deviled eggs. It's not a salad if it doesn't have greens and involves mayonnaise. On the way back to Louisville, Dustin and I stopped by Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen; I ate orange sherbet & got a buttercream cupcake to take home; Dustin got banana ice cream--both were super delicious. Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen--yet another place I could write an ode about.

When we got home, I passed out and slept for three hours; I blame the allergy medicine. I woke up, and we went to the Granville for my friend Sutton's 23rd birthday. I was starving when I woke up, so I ordered chicken strips and cheese fries at the bar. Those cheese fries were the most delicious cheese fries in existence and tasted even better dipped in ranch. I believe they are largely responsible for the current ill state of my stomach. I'm not used to eating overly cheesy, rich and fried foods. I tend to overindulge when I do and end up paying for it. Totally worth it though!

Today was a just a really great day. First, one I've had in a while. I got plenty of sleep, I didn't have to work, then go out. I just have been out of the apartment pretty much all day. I think I've really socializing with my friends outside of class and work. My head's been clear all day; I haven't been stressing over homework or grumpy about events at work. Just a little socialization helps me focus better and be productive.

Right when I got home, I had the cleaning mania. I scooped the litterbox, cleaned the bathroom sink and tub, swept the bathroom floor, pulled out all the trash so Dustin could take it out, and cleaned out the fridge. I did it all in an hour and a half max. Now, I'm feeling kind of tired and ready to crash. I wish my stomach was feeling better; I took two pepto, but it's not helped yet. I'm just going to brush my teeth and go back to cuddling in bed with Lily (my kitty) and Dustin.

Wanted: Compass or Really Fancy GPS; Job Description: Give Directions on Where to Go In Life

2009-09-24T01:16:00.004-04:00

I really wish it were that easy. I'm so utterly miserable in grad school right now. I never thought I'd say it. The academic burnout--I've got it bad. I just feel like I'm flailing around, and not sure of myself or what I want to do anymore. I'm tired of working a crappy retail job to pay rent and be able to take classes. I'm tired of having 300+ pages of homework every week. I don't want to think about taking the foreign language exam and especially don't want to think about my thesis/culminating project. It could be the fact I'm taking 4 classes and working on two degrees at the same time. Plus I've been in school for 18 1/2 years spanning from Kindergarten all the way to where I am now in the first semester of my second year of grad school. No breaks, just straight through; almost everyday sitting in a class with my butt in a desk, pencil and paper in hand, and 20+ people around me. I've been having to cram so much crap in my head that I don't even care or intend to write about. And then I'm ALWAYS BEHIND, no matter how much I try to catch up. I'm always exhausted, and my social life is pretty much nil. I miss being able to go home whenever the weekend comes. I'm just really lost right now. I'm torn; I have a love for learning and desire to be involved the academy; yet I want to be part of the "real world" with a 9-5 job that has insurance and pays at least $20,000/year; and I want to have time to write. Grad school is killing my soul and crushing my dreams, and it's causing me to rebel hardcore and almost consider dropping.

I try to pep myself up with inspirational movie scenes and stories and characters from books. Whenever I feel down and out, one of the books I never fail to pull out is: Alanna: The First Adventure. For those of you unfamiliar with the text, it's a story (rather series) about a girl who wants to and eventually becomes a knight. I was rereading Alanna for about the millionth time, and a scene really resonated with me. It's when she starts to fall behind in her classes and chores.

"Face it," Gary told her kindly. "You'll never catch up. You just do as much as you can and take the punishments without saying anything. Sometimes I wonder if that isn't what they're really trying to teach us--to take plenty and keep our mouths shut.
Alanna after this conversation goes back to her room and orders Coram to pack for home.

"I never figured ye for a quitter," Coram interupted softly.

"I'm not quitting!" Alanna snapped. "I--I'm protesting! I'm protesting unfair treatment--and--being worked till I drop. I want to have time to myself. I want to learn to fight with a sword now, not when they decide. I want--"

"Ye want. Ye want. 'Tis something different ye're learning here. It's called 'discipline.' The world won't always order itself the way ye want. Ye have to learn discipline."

In the end, Alanna of course decides to stay, and she eventually becomes a knight by the end of the series. Yay, role models and inspiration! I say grad school is a worthy analogy to knighthood--though lacking the physical fighting; it's made up for by all the intellectual arguing you have to do; both are pretty brutal.

I mentioned also, I like somewhat cheesy, inspirational, follow your dreams films that surprise me and defy my expectations. For example, Brave New Girl; yes, it's an ABC movie directed/produced by Britney Spears; something so fun and reaffirms your faith in your decision to follow your dreams and be happy. ;) I love the scene where the main character performs Habanera from Carmen, and then does her own twist on it.

Last thing to make me feel better is always the wonderful Idina Menzel. I think "Brave" is a song that really defines my life right now--state of transition, constant changes, and somewhat scary grown up things. I'm gonna face it all and make it through grad school!

I've Got Mail!

2009-09-20T02:53:00.002-04:00

My blue v-neck sweater came in today! I ordered off ebay for a Luke Triton cosplay. Now all I need is a white collared button up shirt, blue newsboy cap, and suspenders. Dustin and I are dressing up as Luke and Professor Layton for Halloween. Well, actually it's one of our costumes because we'll be at Sugoi Con for Halloween weekend. Also my styled wig for my Sakura cosplay came in! It's beautiful, and well worth the money! I'll have to post pictures later. Right now, I'm tired from a combination of allergy medicine, lack of sleep over the week, and from being out at the Granville--though I didn't drink.

Been a fairly, uninteresting week, so I haven't blogged much. I ate Jason's Deli once again today; I could write an entire ode or epic long poem about this place--if I was any good at poetry. Then for dinner, I had BW3s (Buffalo Wild Wings--don't ask how the three comes into play, I don't know) compliments of my friend and co-worker Jackie, who is super awesome!

Printer FAIL!

2009-09-15T02:24:00.003-04:00

I'm all out of ink due to the fact that within the past couple of weeks, I've had to print over 200 pages of reading for class. I hate reading for prolonged periods of time on a screen and can't make notes, highlight or underline important quotes/ideas in the text when the text is digital. My notes generally don't make sense when they're separated from the reading. Furthermore, I can't print a black and white PDF file in blue ink.

I go out, fight my super paranoia and anxiety, and make the semi-lengthy drive to Meijer at 1:30 AM to buy some ink. I remembered that the number on the cartridge was 54 although the picture on the printer ink cartridge cover thing had the numbers 54 and 21 (in reference to the black ink cartridge). I look at all the ink cartridges there's no 54. Only 56, 57 and every other number BUT 54. I start to think I'm wrong and doubt myself. I then look at the conveniently located book of printers and their compatible ink cartridges. I find the picture of my printer and look at the ink cartridge numbers listed. Guess what, 54 isn't listed but 21 is. So, coupling this information with the memory of seeing the number 21 on my printer I buy the cartridge.

I come home, pull out my old cartridge which says 54. I check the box with the new ink cartridge one more time, it says compatible with HP F4180; my printer says HP F4180. I attempt to fit the new ink cartridge inside the printer. It refuses to snap in place. I take it out, examine and compare it to the old one. They're both about the same size, however the little flat thingy that I guess snaps in the printer are different lengths. That makes me very irate and frustrated.

Now, I'm stuck reading a bunch of pages on a screen. No, I do not want to wait until later today to start reading 60+ pages left of my theory reading plus more for my other classes. The whole point of going out was to get ink, print my theory reading, write my response, and leave time Tuesday and Wednesday for an even splitting of my other class readings. I was going to take another proactive step towards becoming the girl who no longer procrastinates. Geez, why does the world hate me?

At least, I got printer paper and a pair of cheap shorts for my Luke Triton (from the Professor Layton games) costume. Still very angry though! Now, I have to go to Meijer again today and return the ink. Then go down the road to BestBuy where hopefully, I will find the correct size ink cartridge. What a pain!

Exploring the Darkness to Find Mediocrity: Review of Anne Bishop's Black Jewels Triology

2009-09-14T00:33:00.003-04:00

Just recently I picked up Anne Bishop's Black Jewels Trilogy. I finished Daughter of the Blood within a week, and found myself desperately ordering Heir to the Shadows because the former ended on a cliffhanger. All the while, I thought to myself this series isn't that great, Bishop isn't a very good writer, so why am I stuck on reading these books? What is so addicting about these stories involving the "Darkness" and "Witch?"

After I finished the first book, I was uncertain as to whether or not I liked it. I picked up the second because I hate cliffhangers and wanted to give the series a fair shot. I've officially decided I don't like the series, yet I ordered the third book, Queen of the Darkness. People have asked me, "How can you say you didn't like the series when you read all of it?" I've boiled it down to three things: I hate not knowing how things end, I hate cliffhangers, and I'm a sucker for an fantasy epic type romance.

To give a little background info for those unfamiliar with the series. These books are about a sort of Amazonian/matriarchal kingdom that has been twisted. A girl named Janelle is the prophesied savior of the kingdom, she is Witch--encompassing all the powers of the "Darkness" (the magical force of world). She meets with three men, Saetan, Luciver, and Daemon, influences all their lives. They all swear to protect and serve her. All the while there are multiple evil forces in the supernatural and the physical world all trying to take control of Janelle and thus gain power of the world.

I find this book series has a lot in common with another book series, I didn't like but plowed through quickly as well: The "Study" Series by Maria V. Snyder. I think Anne Bishop has a lot of the same issues as Snyder. Her main character is a Mary-Sue; she's perfect. Janelle is a prophesied messiah witch. She's beautiful, kind, compassionate, strong, powerful, and everyone loves her on sight. Her only flaw: she's measely at basic magic. Hmmm...sounds a lot like the supernatural equivalent of the physical clumsiness Yelena suffered from. While Yelena mastered super fighting skills in two days, Janelle masters advanced magic in a day.

The secondary protagonists (Luciver, Saetan, Daemon) are all pretty predictable. The over protective brother; the gentle understanding father; the passionate loyal lover. Yes they are all demons and all have personal issues, nevertheless FLAT. We're starting to get into Twilight territory here... However, I think Bishop's writing skill far exceeds Meyer's. Okay back on topic!

I think one of my largest problems with the series is that I had no real understanding of the world created. Most fantasy novels seem to take place in a medieval-esque period. Kaeleer, Tereille and the other locations seemed to want to be set in a Medival world with kings, queens, nobility and such. People travel in carriages and by horseback. However, I just could not get over how modern everything sounded; the characters wore button up "suits" smoked cigarettes; one of the characters had spikey, short blonde hair and wore spikey boots; and those "dark blue trousers" Janelle and many other characters wore seemed a cover for blue jeans. Furthermore, I still don't understand the magical and hierarchy system. It's really complex, and Bishop just throws you in the world with only a short list of the jewel colors and the different Blood (magical people) ranks. I don't understand the magical travel systems of webs and winds. The books just resound with modern influence. It suggests to me that Bishop doesn't have a clear idea of the world she created.

Bishop's books hold an interesting premise. She knows how to appeal to the emotions and get you invested in the characters, even though their personalities and actions are predictable. She does believe in writing strong, female characters. She throws in a major cliffhanger at the end of book one and finally states an official romance that has been brewing between Janelle and Daemon. However, her story drags like a twenty pound sack of flour. It takes forever to get to the action. You have to slog through more than half the book over 200 pages of exposition before you get to the action. I have to say my venture into her realm of "Darkness" was really "meh." I'm not impressed with Bishop's writing. I'll probably be finished with her after reading the third book in the trilogy. I have to know what happens otherwise it's going to bug me forever, especially now that there's a romance involved.

New Layout!

2009-09-08T03:55:00.006-04:00

Goodness, sakes it takes me forever to make a new layout because I'm so picky about picture, color, and blending! Then I have to coordinate everything else on the blog to match like the background image and the body color and text color, etc. It's a headache. I also tried looking around at CSS coding again to see if I could figure enough it to try making a slightly more customized looking layout. I found some sites that had free, pre-made codes; it still made my head hurt. I decided to stick to the custom header and background formula that works so well.

I really love this image; it's the character Yuuko Ichihara from the manga/anime series XXXHolic by CLAMP. LOVE CLAMP--they're the artist group responsible for Magic Knight Rayearth, Card Captor Sakura, and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (which my last layout featured), along with many more titles. It's very nice fall oriented layout.

I volunteered to go into work today to get some extra hours. Finally got to eat my hot dog and ice cream, though not together. I ate 1 1/2 hot dogs at work which we were selling to make money for the charity Soles For Souls. Dustin made burgers for dinner, albeit very late. I stopped by Meijer to get hamburger buns and lettuce and got distracted for over 20 minutes in the skincare aisle. It's very difficult to find toner or skin cleaners without sacilycic acid in it. The stuff makes my skin dry out fast, burn, and turn red. To make things even harder, I was trying to find things that were non-animal tested. I did find one though--the brand is called JASON and its logo is an image of a koala bear. They're all natural and non-animal tested and have very good products; my sister and I used the facewash, which is really gentle--great for sensitive skin.

ANYWAYS, see there I go getting distracted! I got home ate my burger and then followed up with a delicious ice cream sandwich. Our refrigerator is packed to the brim for the first time in forever! Sooo much food & also two bottles of Arbor Mist and one bottle of white wine. Garrr...okay now I need to print out my reading, get ready for class tomorrow, and go to bed.

She's Got Her Head Up in the Clouds...

2009-09-07T01:09:00.003-04:00

Skye Sweetnam's song "Sharada" always makes me happy for some reason; it reminds me a lot of myself. My friend Sutton once said, "If anyone truly marches to their own drum, it's Lan." Then my friend Matt added, "It's more like 20 drums, like her own percussion section." I love this amv which uses this song for the anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It says everything about the main character, Haruhi, which in some again reminds me of myself. She's always looking for the extraordinary things and frustrated with everyday life because it's boring. She doesn't really know how to be normal, nor does she care. However, she's much more aggressive than I am and has much wilder adventures in her such for the supernatural and unknown. My favorite line is during the first day of class when she announces to everyone, "I'm not interested in ordinary human beings, but if any of you are aliens, time travelers, or ESPers, please come see me." I haven't watched all the anime series yet, and I just won the first volume of the manga in a contest. I do enjoy it what I have seen. I know it's wildly popular, and I can see why.

A World Without Books is No World At All

2009-09-04T23:34:00.001-04:00

My friend Alyssa, who is in a library studies program and going to be one of the most wonderful children's librarians ever, just posted a link to an article about how one school is moving to get rid of all its books. The school is some snarky, private high school where apparently no one reads and or checks out books from the library. So the administrators have decided to discard all their books because they believe the future only holds room digital media. They headmaster is quoted as saying, "When I look at books, I see an outdated technology, like scrolls before books. This isn’t Fahrenheit 451. We’re not discouraging students from reading. We see this as a natural way to shape emerging trends and optimize technology.’’ To make things worse, two of the students they interviewed really didn't care about there being no books. Granted, I'm sure their views do not reflect the entire school population.

This absolutely breaks my heart! I'm an English major, an academic, and above all else a passionate, devoted lover of books! It's shocking for me to think that people don't care about books. Books are an important cultural staple and sources of learning. The headmaster's comment about books being outdated really bothered me. Scrolls weren't seen as worthless since the invention of the printing press. Why else would people have gone through such means to preserve them? Why did people get so excited when the Dead Sea Scrolls were found? They might be an outdated form of compiling information, nonetheless they should be preserved and cared for, not discarded.

The same goes for books. Not everything in books is digital and can be found and downloaded via the internet. Books are important not just for the stories and ideas, but the physical contents, the ink, the pages, the binding. Those can all tell us about culture. Different editions of books are important, they reflect changes made by the authors and give us new ways of interpreting a text. For me as a medievalist, early books are especially important for the artwork contained in the pages, the notes in the margins, words crossed out and replaced, the type of lettering. They are all markers of a culture and the writer(s).

What would it be like to walk into a library and see no books, only computers? That'd be horrible. It wouldn't be a library! There would be no browsing in the stacks, stumbling across an interesting looking book, picking it up, and reading it. You can't browse via a computer and the net! You can type in genre and search and have referral tools. I think it's more complicated and irritating to find a book that way. I'm drawn to a book because of cover art, other times it's the title, and sometimes it's the actual look of the book. Plus, it's not going to hurt your eyes reading a book for a long period of time (unless you have poor lighting). Furthermore, in a digital text, you can't make notes or bend down or tag important pages. And books are durable as opposed to a kindle! Fire and water are about the only things truly detrimental to books, although in small amounts water won't destroy a book.

Books were once considered a great commodity and a luxury. I think this school is also being really wasteful in discarding these books. I think the administrators are making a grave oversight and too radical move. It's a shame they don't see a value in books. I think it'll be a large gap in the students' education.

I'm all for digitizing texts, especially since it makes archival work a lot easier. However, I don't believe books are a waste of space, outdated, and unnecessary. Moreover, books are far less expensive than electronic texts. I'm glad to see in the comments on the article, most of the people do not agree with the administrators' decision. What do you guys think?

Nom, Nom, Pizza & Nerd Talk

2009-09-03T00:19:00.002-04:00

Finishing up the last of the pizza as I'm watching Project Runway.

Second day of Queer Theory today. Initially, I struggled a little bit reading Focault and Gayle Rubin, however, as always, Dr. Kopelson always manages to break everything down and make it clear. We had lots of haha moments in class making fun the snootiness of lit. theory critics, and some of the radical statements made by Rubin. The line that made me laugh quite a bit was : "The only adult sexual behavior that is legal in every state is the placement of the penis in the vagina in wedlock." I'm not dismissing her statement, I'm just amused by the truth of it. She doesn't play around when it comes to sexuality and repression. I love Dr. Kopelson because she's got a very lax, humorous and "I'm-just-as-lazy-and-tired-as- any-college-student-even-though-I'm-a-professor-with-tenure" attitude. Some of her best comments come out when she's tired, like today: "pederasty, that's where you...[pause] 'asty' your children."

I wanted to kick myself today because I forgot to do my writing assignment, and Dr. K doesn't accept late work. I thought earlier, "I wonder if we have a writing assignment today, no I think we're just going to write in class." Then I get to class, and one of my classmates entered a little late; he asked if we had turned our papers in yet. At that moment I was like "OH SHIT!" I think it's the most awful feeling of shame and embarrassment when you're a grad student, and you've already screwed up and forgotten an assignment on your second day of class.

I want to blame the wedding, but it's also my fault for not writing it down in my to-do notebook, which I've been doing an awesome job at keeping and looking at. I don't believe in planners because it does you no good to look at things in advance. Plus I never use them. I always end up making lists of things to do from homework to errands and posting them on my desk or computer. Mac has a cool note/reminder app; I can write little remainders on brightly colored post-its and have them appear on my desktop. I don't know how I could live or keep track of my life without Post-Its.

I'm in a major paper topic developing mood. I keep thinking and debating different ideas for my Queer Theory paper, since it's a free for all. I really want to do a paper of sexuality/gender in the anime Revolutionary Girl Utena. Thing is, Utena is really long; I'd have to sit and watch the whole two seasons and take a ton of notes, and contstantly rewatch certain episodes. I'm also considering a shorter anime, like Maria-Holic or writing on the Takarazuka theatre tradition in Japan. Still have a million other papers to worry about: Anne Askew for Med. Lit & Law, currently subjectless Black Plague paper, currently subjectless U.S. Slavery Rhetoric paper, and oh can't forget the ever forboding CULMINATING PROJECT PAPER OR THESIS.

Time to finish my meal, stop watching TV, leave the internet behind, and go do my copious amounts of reading for tomorrow. I have three classes back to back for a total of 7 hours and 15 minutes. I have 15 minute break between each class--enough time to run between buildings or class rooms, use the bathroom, grab a snack or coke. There is no such thing as real life on Thursdays.

Epic Wedding Recap

2009-09-01T02:23:00.000-04:00

I'm back in Louisville, THANK GOD! THE WEDDING IS DONE! Over the summer, I've had want-to-have-a-wedding-right-now syndrome really bad, especially looking at all the awesome weddings featured on OffBeat Bride. I have been cured thanks to this is experience with my aunt's wedding. I know Dustin's mom and Tamela (my bestie) are currently bemoaning this. I'm sure it's only temporary, albeit a LONG temporary period of not wanting to have a wedding.

Going to recap the wedding & post wedding events now:

We woke up around 8:30 AM and ate half a bagel when my mom got a call from my aunt Hien telling her we have to be ready to go at 12:00PM. We were going to my aunt Hanh's (bride) house to help her get ready for the wedding. Being three women sharing one tiny hotel bathroom, my family and I rush to get ready. We're showered, made-up, in dresses and accessories by 10:00.

We attempted to put wedding gift in gift bag purchased day before; doesn't fit. Decide, well we have time to spare; mom and sister go to Saveway across street to get wrapping paper & stuff, while I stay behind in hotel. Mom & sister got back a little after 11:00 (which made me a little nervous). Had the present wrapped and ready to go a little before noon. Go down to the lobby and called my aunt, told her we were ready and waiting. She was ten minutes late. Seeing my aunt in plain clothes, my sister and I thought "Maybe we weren't supposed to be dressed for the wedding yet, just have our stuff together." So we ran to get extra clothes from the hotel room. We jumped in my mom's car and followed my aunt to the house.

My aunt Hanh was sick (with a cold or something she caught two days before) and stressed and a nervous wreck. She's normally super bossy, but that day she was even moreso. She was freaking out because the hair & make-up stylist wasn't at the house yet. My aunt Hien called him to find out his location; he was stuck in traffic. My aunt Hanh managed to calm down some, and said she was grateful for us being there. She showed us the dress (beautiful of course). She asked if we're hungry and offered us food. My mom made my sister, me, aunt Hien, and herself delicious ham sandwiches.

Hair/make-up guy arrived; blatantly homosexual and Vietnamese too. Finished just a little before the time we're supposed to leave to go take pictures. Everybody, except the bride, changed and gathered stuff together trying to help my mom and aunt Hien out. We left for the garden where the wedding would take place. We arrived at Elizabeth Gamble Gardens and went inside the house where my aunt would get ready. Her friends Kitty and Carmen, and my aunt Hien all helped her into her dress and get her accessories on. My sister, mom, and I watched; afterward, my sister was put in charge of my aunt's Hanh's blotting sponge, and I took hold of her purse.

My aunt went to go take private pictures with the groom, and I went to chill with my family in the sitting room that lead to the garden. It was so hot, everyone was sweating and fanning themselves. Thankfully, ice water was provided. Then we all moved outside to the area by the tea house to take photos. Eventually, ceremony time hit. We all got seated after a little confusion about who was supposed to process before the bride. The ceremony was very simple, elegant, and beautiful and SHORT! Everyone moved back to the tea house to talk and take more pictures. My sister and I wandered around the gardens more and took lots of pictures.

Finally, the time came to head towards the reception. We went to a fancy French restaurant called The Plumed Horse. We wandered through the fancy dining room, past a giant wine cellar, went down the elevator to a private dining area. We were greeted with champagne and hors d'oeuvres (however the hell you spell it). There were lots of delicious fancy, petite foods--my faves being the mushroom cream soup, caviar on a coin-sized pancake type pastry, and crab cakes. The menu for the main meal was as follows: corn soup with sturgeon and caviar; caramelized onion tarte with duck confit, frisee, and truffle vinagrette; wild Alaskan Halibut with herb crusted potato, piquillo pepper OR braised beef Danube with purple potato puree, haricot vert (I ate this); and almond vanilla poundcake with hazelnut chocolate mousse or raspberry mousse (which the menu failed to mention; I got the latter). The meal was delicious! The soup was funny because at first it was just a big bowl with a tiny portion of corn and fish, with cream sitting in the middle. I was thinking "WTF?!" My cousin Theodore brought up the idea that maybe the waiters would pour the broth afterwards; he was right. I wish I'd gotten a chance to eat the chocolate, hazelnut cake, but the raspberry was very good.

I drank a two glasses of champagne, a little white wine, and a couple sips of a white dessert wine. Then it was dancing time to mainly late 70s and some 80s music. My aunt and her husband started out with a formal, slow first dance then switched to a choreographed disco dance. We ended the night with the Chicken Dance apparently which most of my aunts were not familiar with. My aunt Hien's boyfriend kept requesting it all night, and the DJ finally played it at the end.

Overall, the wedding was highly stressful, super fast, really fun, and great. A few negative things here and there: my mom getting a little upset after the ceremony thinking about Neal, being snubbed by my grandfather, getting blisters on my feet after dancing and walking up and down a hill carrying wedding presents to put into my aunt Hien's car, so she could take it to my aunt Hanh's house later. So glad it's over. The next day we went to a low, key picnic/barbeque at New Brighton State Beach. Ate organic, beef imported from both New Zealand and Australia! Pretty good. My sister and I were bored for most of it, since the water was too cold to swim and there wasn't anybody really to talk to that we knew. My cousin Jonathan, aunt Hang, and uncle David kept us company for a little while. They left early to fly back to Arizona though.

Eventually, my family and I left with my aunt Hien and her boyfriend. We went to her house, so I could root through her wardrobe and take the expensive, designer clothes she couldn't fit or didn't want anymore. Then we went to an awesome local, Vietnamese restaurant called Da Lat for dinner. On the way back to the hotel, I rode in my aunt's boyfriend's BMW convertible. It was pretty fun.

My sister and I finally got to go swimming in the pool at the hotel. We switched between the pool and hot tub. We swam for maybe 45 minutes before going back to pack and sleep. Packing was a mess, I was afraid all my stuff wouldn't fit, but it did. We got up early the next morning to eat, return the rental car, check-in and get to our gate.

I got home around 10 PM Louisville time; I was really cranky, tired, and ready to rip some one's head off when my flight arrived. I'll admit, I was a super bitch to Dustin when he picked me up. I was craving pizza. We tried to go to Wick's which is usually open late; however, they closed at 10 on Sundays. We went home and ordered Pizza Hut, I ate, piddled around on the net, then crawled under the bed covers and crashed. Apparently, I kept kicking Dustin hard and telling him to turn the TV volume down and mumbling about the bears. I had a dream about bears and lions mauling and eating people.

Now this epic blog post about this epic wedding is done. Bedtime. Got to finish reading for class tomorrow and Wednesday.

California-Nia...

2009-08-28T08:06:00.002-04:00

Is nice to the homeless... I love the South Park episode: Night of the Living Homeless. Their version of 2Pacs California Lovin' never fails to crack me up. Though I doubt the area of CA where all the wedding stuff is taking place is nice to the homeless. My mother is snoring like a beast; my sister is snoring too, but she sounds more human. I slept for maybe three or four hours. My body is all out of whack going from KY to CA.

Vacations for my family 8/10 times always end up more stressful, boring, and unfun than relaxing, exciting, and fun. Currently, we're in CA for my aunt Hanh's wedding. We had a to rent a car and drive ourselves around. This is really difficult because 1) we forgot the GPS 2) we're not from here 3) my aunts that live here are not much help because they are too busy running around with wedding stuff to drive us or guide us to locations. Thankfully, we discovered my mom's phone has a GPS system, and we can try it out for free for 30 days. My poor mom is so disoriented, frustrated, and stressed out. Thankfully, my aunt from Arizona and her family are staying in the same hotel as us. They're more comfortable and familiar with driving around the area, so we can follow them.

The rehearsal dinner tonight was at an Italian restuarant called Vero's. I was expecting a big, hearty pasta dinner. However, none of the dinner choices included pasta except the kids; they got to eat Bolognaise which looked really good. I ate red snapper in a tomatoe sauce (not like spaghetti tomatoe sauce); not bad, subtle flavor, but I really was craving pasta. I think the best part of the meal was dessert: tiramisu and cappucino. I keep thinking of the movie Super Bad (awesome movie by the way): When am I going to fucking need to know how to make fucking tiramisu! The actual quote according to IMDB is

"Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing."

It's kind of fun being with all my family. My cousins look so different; the last time I saw my cousins Nathaniel and Jonathan--they were both smaller. Nathan is now super tall, with long hair, and still very opinionated just on things like religion and politics. He likes arguing and doesn't mind going up against the entire family when they're all start harping him about religion. He was also the only person in my family to know that Old English is Anglo-Saxon English and to be impressed by the fact I could read and translate it. Jonathan still has a baby face and looks so precious. He's twelve--too old for me to scoop him up, hug him, and kiss him. My cousin Theodore looks way different with a shaved head and long beard. I didn't even recognize him. I thought to myself, "who is this slightly creepy looking guy sitting at our family's table?" Then my aunt said this is your cousin, "Theo." "Oh...way to go..." was my mental response I think it's funny how my aunts think it's necessary to introduce me to all my relatives like I've never met them, even my grandparents--granted, I haven't seen them in over ten years.

Today is the wedding day. I love weddings and analyzing their different styles. I'm looking more forward to the reception. From what I've been told, there will be lots of good booze, 80s music, and dancing. The second is the most important factor to me because I can't drink heavily due to being small and Asian.

I'm seriously considering sleeping out in the lobby area of the hotel. There's a large solid but comfy wooden bench. There's a cushy couch in the front desk area...somehow I don't think the hotel manager would appreciate or allow me to sleep there long. My sister suggested the cushy lounge chairs in the pool area. I also thought about the bathtub in our room. Dustin tells me from personal experience that bathtubs are actually very comfortable. The door almost completely blocks the sound of my mother's snoring.

I feel like I should make a more interesting blog post than this. I actually made a lot of notes in my head during dinner about snarky and amusing things to say about the meal and guests. However, I feel they're more suited to actual conversation rather than blog post. I think I'm going to continue eating my pack of goldfishes and read a fantasy novel until I start feeling sleepy or finish the book.

When You Ask Me Who I Am, What is my Vision, Do I Have a Plan

2009-08-26T00:26:00.008-04:00

I know I love Medieval/Renaissance lit and want to devote my life studying it and women and women writers of the time period. I always knew from when I was young I wanted to be a writer. As I got older and further in college, I realized I wanted to write academically; I love picking apart and analyzing texts. I definitely wanted to pursue my college career further with grad school; I sold my soul to academia, academia is my life blood. I don't regret it, I love it with every fiber of my being despite the fact it causes me so much stress and headache and makes me physically ill during finals.

Ever since I decided to devote myself to the academy, it always seemed obvious and logical to become a college professor. I liked the idea of teaching; I wanted to share my knowledge and help fellow literature lovers and aspiring writers and academics. Plus, as Dr. Kopelson (one of my favorite professors who taught literary theory) said, it is a job that makes you write for a living. I wanted to write papers and lecture at prestigious Shakespeare conferences. This seemed the way to do it.

At the end of last semester and throughout the summer, I began having a not so mild but not dire career/identity crisis. Neither of my two med/ren classes were what I expected. Frankly, I thought they were boring and generic; nothing I couldn't have learned in a 300 level literature or history survey course. Granted this was due to the fact they were a mix of grad and undergrad students. I was taking 4 classes (12 hours) which is a lot in grad school; the workload was intense and overwhelming. I began to have doubts as to whether or not I wanted to continue with grad school all the way to PhD. I knew I definitely wanted a year off, but wanted to finish my Master's degree first.

Today, I had a meeting with my mentor, adviser, and idol, Dr. Rabin. He asked me if I'd given any thought to what I wanted to do after I finished my Master's. I told him, I'm thinking of taking a year off. He actually encouraged me to do so. He said taking a year off would not hurt or affect my chances of getting into a PhD program; I would just have to frame myself a little differently than if I was going straight from a Master's program. He also said, most groups PhD students are half and half--some who've taken a year off and others who haven't. He told me the only problem would be if one year turned into two then three...so and so forth.

Then he brought up other careers/grad programs to look into for Med/Ren: Museum Studies and Library Studies. He kind of alleviated some of my fears that I'd be stuck in a corner of the library cataloging books and babysitting middle schoolers and studying purely cataloging. He said, "It's not like you're going to study the Dewey Decimal system [in library science]. You specialize in a niche, work in the rare books collection, work with book preservation, and manuscripts. In fact, librarians work more with manuscripts than even I do. It's not like you're going to be working in the Louisville Free Public Library. You'll be in a university or a museum." He mentioned my background in theatre could be useful for museums like the Frazier which stages reenactments of the Middle Ages. I could be in charge of collections and setting up exhibits. Conveniently enough, University of South Carolina has a great museum studies program.

He told me to consider these options before settling on a PhD. A PhD is a great risk, especially nowadays. There's no sign of universities getting any more government funding soon. U of L recently only hired one new faculty member, a graduate from Vanderbilt. She was the only recent graduate from Vanderbilt to get a job, and it was only a temp teaching job. She would only teach for a year, without any guarantee of a job next year, and teaching lots of classes for a pittance. 25% of recent graduate students got a job and that was just any job, not necessarily teaching or english related. He told me to think, it's a risk that can pay off and or end badly. He said, "You have to think carefully, do I want to spend 6-7 years just trying to get a PhD, get out at 30-something, and will I look back and consider this time and money well spent when I don't have a job guarantee."

So now I'm seriously considering changing my life plan. I was so burnt out last semester. I realize I'm getting a little tired of the classroom. I want to do something else. I wish I'd got a teaching assistantship to see if I liked teaching as well as pay for my tuition and get insurance. As grad students, we're taught mainly content and just thrown into the classroom and expected to fly. Do I want to teach English 101 to stupid, jocks or deal with snobby honor students or people just in English to get some kind of degree? Mrs. Campbell (my senior AP English teacher) said teaching is casting pearl among swine. You just gotta hope for those few students who truly love learning and care about literature.

I'm really considering the museum and library studies programs. I'm leaning more towards museum right now because I'm thinking of the different items I'd be involved with besides manuscripts. I'd really love to incorporate my theatre background into my med/ren career. Dr. Rabin said, I would still be involved in the academic world, reading articles, writing and publishing articles of my own.

Museum and Library studies programs would also be shorter, about 2-3 years. Dr. Rabin said the best places to get jobs would be Chicago and Washington D.C. --both awesome cities with tons of museums and libraries and great universities with libraries. He recommended to apply in those areas for a library or museum assistantships if I decided to take a year off. He said they are perfect for Master's students looking to go further in Med/Ren studies.

Epically long post, I know. It helped me get my thoughts together though. Talking to Dustin helped too; he actually said, he thought I'd be happier in a museum setting rather than classroom. I know my mom would be happy if I chose library or museum studies; she thinks I'd have a much better chance at getting a job. I don't have to make a decision overnight. I must make one before the end of the semester though. If I want to go on to a PhD or other program next year, I need to start applying soon.

One Week and Three Days...

2009-08-25T01:29:00.004-04:00

I've been back in Louisville now for two days. Getting back was a mess. My flight from Columbia to Atlanta got delayed causing me to miss my connection. Luckily the airline was able to book me on another flight at 7:20 PM. I was stuck in the airport for about 4-5 hours. At least Atlanta's airport is nice and filled with lots of good restaurants, though I was not please with the quality of Sbarrao's I ate at. My slice of pepperoni pizza had too few pepperoni's to merit the price, and it was lukewarm to boot. However, I was too cranky & hungry to do anything but eat it.

Dustin picked me up at the airport, and we went to see Ponyo. I ate nachoes; I got two containers of cheese at no extra cost! The movie was adorable! It had some flaws to it and lacked a bit of epicness that was hinted at. I loved Lisa, the mom of the little boy Sōsuke, My favorite Miyazaki film, of the three I've seen, is Howl's Moving Castle--beautiful animation, music, fantastic epic story and great cast. After the movie, I felt majorly tired. We went through White Castle's drive-thru and home to eat. I went to bed pretty early.

It's becoming more real and comfortable being back in Louisville. I almost didn't recognize the place when I first landed. That tells you how disoriented I've been of late. My whole life seems to have existed in SC only the past week. I'm getting back to routine. I went to work today and start class tomorrow. I felt that little, heavy, knot in my chest that I first felt. However, after talking with Trena, a good friend and girl I work with, about stuff I felt better. I love Dustin; he's certainly great to talk to, however sometimes it's not enough to talk to him--mainly I need a girl friend. I'm letting go slowly. Sometimes the knot and a terrible ache will come up, but I find some way to make it go away. I sorely miss my family; I never have wanted to move home until now. My mom would be mad as hell if I did though. And I realize I have a responsibility to myself, to Dustin, to Lily (my cat), and my family; part of fulfilling that responsibility is finishing school and getting a real job.

Trena and I both talked about going back to church. She said she needs it to help her keep from wanting to physically hurt somebody. I think I need it for a little spiritual nourishment. I'm not particularly religious, but there's usually something comforting in church. I always admire people with strong religious faith, note that it's different from zealous religious faith. I generally live by the matra: just be a good a person, do good things.

So, now I'm done blogging. Going to get my stuff together for class tomorrow.

Bookstore Bliss

2009-08-19T23:18:00.006-04:00

Bookstores always have a calming, happy feel to them. I know the ins and outs of each store whether used, new, local or chain. I weigh the pros and cons of the memberships of the main stores. Some people are shopaholics, go nuts and spend tons on designer clothes, shoes, accessories. All rules and budget ideas go out the window in the bookstore, especially if there's a good variety in the clearance section. Also, just simply being in a bookstore helps cure the blues and make you forget about life. It's a whole different world in the bookstore--each has their own ambiance. I bought the beautiful leather collector's edition of Wicked and Son of Witch (combined in one) for only $19.98.

I found a really great book which I didn't purchase, but am planning to. It's called More than Heaving Bosoms; it's all about the genre of romance novels and why women love them. I read bits and pieces in the store. It's so funny and doesn't make me feel guilty for wanting to read trashy romance novels or at least the smutty parts. One of the cool things discussed in the book is the transition in plot formulas from the 70s-80s to the 90s-2000s. The writers also have a blog called Smart Bitches, Trashy Books.

Other books of note: 500 Manga Heroes and Villians and The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane--the latter is recommended by Barnes and Noble and sounds really fascinating.

My other aunt from California is flying in tomorrow. It's becoming easier to forget somebody who really wasn't part of our family to begin with. My mom's biggest worries about the debt left behind have been eased; she's not responsible--thanks goodness. It's been the three of us for so long, and it's not hard to go back to it. I think it was the trauma of the event that made us all feel so horrible and sad. This is the last I'm talking/thinking about it today. No more. Hopefully, soon, I'll get to the point where I don't think about it at all.

Going back to watching the Starter Wife--I'm hooked. My sister and I rented it from the library and been watching non-stop.

Staying Strong

2009-08-19T01:52:00.004-04:00

I am so grateful to have a wonderful family and group of friends. They have been crucial to helping me and my mom and sister get through this terrible event. I heard the whole story from where it started in KY and how it ended it SC. I learned a lot of things that really scared and hurt me further. However, they were things I had to know that were nagging at me. Now that I know, I can have closure, forget them, and move on. My family is one made up entirely of women, and we are strong. It's been the three of us for a long time, and it's the three of us again. We may argue and complain about each other sometimes, but we love one another dearly. What hurts one, hurts us all. Nothing will break our bond and spirit! Our lives will not stop because of one selfish person's actions. We will forever remain strong and prevail and move on with our lives!

Nostalgia Moment: Sailor Moon

2009-08-14T05:14:00.012-04:00

Had a fit of major nostalgia ever since Emily mentioned something on her blog about running around being Sailor Scouts. I and three of my friends all ran around shouting attacks or transformations in public. We formed a group called the S.S.O.A.--Sailor Senshi of America. There were only four of us though: Sailor Saturn, Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury. I wrote lots of silly fanfiction inspired by my friends which is still on fanfiction.net under the penname sweetsaturn (I think...); I printed off hard copies too. I have a sketchbook full of drawings of sailor moon characters--mainly Sailor Saturn (my favorite senshi). I own all three movies on dvd and a fabulous sailor moon patchwork purse. I still have a bunch of old notes where we talked about going to Japan and what was going on in the Sailor Moon chatroom. And best of all, I have pictures of my 15th birthday where I had a Sailor Saturn birthday cake--best birthday cake ever! I'll post pictures when I scan them...which reminds me...I still need to scan and send those goofy pictures of us during middle & high school to Tamela. And the REALLY BEST of all is that I fell in love with my boyfriend of three years after he openly professed his love for Sailor moon. I spent the last couple of days working on a some pretty, customized banners for my former S.S.O.A. members. I wrote a long memoir on my life history through Sailor Moon on this blog I write on AnimeVice.

You know, a blog is usually kept for personal purposes, but as I said before it's nice to know you have readers somewhat interested in your life. Funny thing is, I know Tamela will always read my blog if no one else does, except maybe Dustin (my boyfriend), and I'm grateful for that. At least she's always got my back in real life and on the net, and lets me know I'm loved. ;) Anyhoo onto pretty banner thingies.

Open For Business!

2009-08-12T04:34:00.006-04:00

Well not technically since I don't run any business unless it's making mini top hats and sometimes selling Mary Kay. I've officially set up this blog with a pretty customized layout and all. I've just gotta move LJ posts into here, if I feel like it. I may just keep my LJ account open since I still use LJ for a lot of things like finding brushes and textures for photoshop. Plus there's a lot of blogs I read on there.

I worked all day on fiddling with this site, trying to work with someone else's code and adjust things to how I liked them. The only problem with these premade layouts is that they were made for the older version of blogger which I guess didn't have a comment system, so tag board spaces/codes were used. I couldn't figure out how to make my tagboard fit right nor could I figure out how to enable the comments system. And what's a blog without comments? Well, it's still a blog, just it's nice to get feedback, particularly from people who you don't see and talk to on a regular basis.

So finally I found an easy tutorial on customizing your own template; I downloaded Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0 (the equivalent of Paint Shop Pro that can work on a Mac); put together an image with some textures; tinkered around and voila! I'm still figuring out all the bells and whistles; this program works and looks really similar to PSP. However, it has one thing that I love that PSP lacked--SELECTIVE COLORING/COLOR VARIATION. It lets me take or add colors like red or blue and lighten or darken the colors of the image without using twenty million different textures.

I like blogger for it's nice drag n' drop template editing features. No need to know anything more than basic HTML. Any extra codes can be copied and pasted. Header pictures are easily uploadable. Much less headache once you figure everything out. So yeah, it's waaay past time for me to go to bed. I have to be at work at 2 PM tomorrow and be up earlier to do laundry--no clean work clothes. It's the day before public school starts, so it's going to be chaos at the Shoe Carnival with parents all coming in desperate to buy their kids new shoes.

So Far Behind...

2009-08-11T13:25:00.000-04:00

Still playing around with things related to the layout. I've been left behind in the world of the interwebs when it comes to building a blog. I only know a little, basic HTML and now everything is CSS . It's like crazy and confusing. I'm not very good with change, but I'm working on it. Just keep looking for patterns and where you can change the words. Leave everything else the same is how I go about doing things. I'm currently migrating from LiveJournal to here, so I'll be back with a real, more interesting blog post later.

Test Post

2009-08-11T04:50:00.000-04:00

This is a test post to see if my layout is working.